No chance of moving in together

[kittykitty]

I don't understand this. Do you mean you've been playing Suzie homemaker with his kids to persuade him?

 

Also, what's his anger about? I can see expressing disagreement, but why did he get angry about it?

 

There is no persuading. I enjoy spending time with his kids but yes- it's a bit Susie homemaker like. What I meant by this was that I'm already fully part of his and his kids life. I'm at his house helping out, playing with his kids etc. If I were to tell him I was moving in there tomorrow he would say yes. On the other hand he is rarely in my life - at my house or with my kids so there's no way we are anywhere near living together.

 

But obviously it's something that I ultimately want to work towards however if he sees us in this exact same place 10 years from now then that shows me he doesn't really have plans of growing closer or even starting to merge our lives even after a decade

 

And the only reason I can think of for getting angry is that There's something he doesn't want to say - something which conflicts with what he knows I'm looking for but he's scared to say it because he knows it could end things if we aren't on the same page. So he gets angry because he doesn't want to talk about it. Doesn't want to lose what we have going on right now. This is my conflict.

 

Also of note - he doesn't even own the house he lives in, his father does. So it's not a matter of having to sell that house or the fact that it's even his to begin with.

[Zaphod]

Thank you for the replies everyone. I do feel a bit of both sides here. On one hand I am actually very happy with this set up in the present moment. I'm not currently resentful of my commuting to see him however when I look forward 10 years and picture myself doing the same thing then that's what makes me a bit resentful and frustrated.

 

But this is slippery slope, no? Whyy not just enjoy yourself today, and see what happens? It's not like you've made some kind of legal commitment to him to stay chained to him for the next ten years, you can get out any time you want.

 

I think a lot of men get a bit dumbfounded by this "Where do you see us in five years/ten years" stuff. We don't have a clue where we see us in that time. And any clue we may have is just blind guesswork. No one knows what's going to happen tomorrow.

[boltnrun]

Worrying about what might happen ten years from now is what my mom would have called "borrowing trouble".

 

Why get upset and stressed over something that might not even matter ten years from now? Why ruin today worrying about ten years from now?

 

How about some time closer, like re-evaluate in six months?