What is he feeling/thinking? Please help me

[ssoul]

Hello,

So my (now ex) boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago via FACEBOOK.

Our relationship was great, we fought a fair bit during the last 3 months (we dated for almost 10 months) but we immediately made up afterward. The fights were not serious issues, they were things that could easily be solved.

he did not give me proper explanations and answers, he said "i don’t feel the same anymore" "I don’t think I love you anymore" "I don’t think we're right for each other anymore" and "I don’t see a future for us"

I begged him to do it face to face but he didn't want to.

We have not spoken since, I'm doing the no contact rule and from what I’ve heard through other friends, he plans on speaking with me once he is ready and once it’s all calmed down.

 

Here's where it gets confusing. He said to his friends that he still cares more about me than himself, and he wants me to get better. He apparently isn’t over me, and still has strong feelings. He said, and i quote "if I see her I’ll just get back together with her"

He also said he misses me. But apparently our relationship was 'endless stress' for him.

He told his friends "she isn’t the one for me." Yet I tried my hardest to give him everything. He said he does not want to cut me out of his life and still wants to be friends. I’m so confused because only a few days before we broke up we saw each other and he still said I love you to me while holding my hand and looking into my eyes. In fact, MINUTES before we broke up I asked him if he still loved me and he said yes. But then one hour later the yes turned into "I don’t think I do anymore"

I asked him if breaking up is what he wants to do, he said "I don’t know" he was very quiet during the phone call.

While speaking to his friends he said "I don’t love her anymore" and "it’s done, I can’t go back to her I broke her heart"

 

I don't know what to think and what to believe. I'm trying my hardest to focus on myself now as I’ve improved my mental and physical health in the two weeks we've been broken up. He is a very strict man to himself, and he treated me so well. So I have no reason to hate him, I do wish we could try again but I know the type of person he is he won’t want to try again.

Has anyone been in this situation before? Where you’re more confused than hurt? I have accepted what’s happened but I don’t know what to think. Please give me some opinions and advice.

[Clarisse]

It always surprises me when people describe their relationship as "wonderful" and "great", except for all the fighting. Truly relationships don't involve lots of arguments, especially over silly things. Disagreements, yes. Fighting, no. Frankly, it wears most people down, even if you do make up right away. That's why he described the relationship as "endless stress".

 

Breakups are confusing and difficult for both the dumper and dumpee. It can take a while to get over someone, even when the relationship is tumultuous. However, his message seems clear to me. He is done. My advice is to stay NC and move on.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately it sounds like you were very incompatible. What were all the fights about?

 

All the fighting is stressful and it sounds like after the infatuation period, there was no compatibility. There is no need for in person closure. A breakup is closure. Stop negotiating to get back together.

 

It would be best to go no contact and block and delete him.

boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago we fought a fair bit during the last 3 months we dated for almost 10 months. he said "i don’t feel the same anymore" "I don’t think I love you anymore" "I don’t think we're right for each other anymore" and "I don’t see a future for us".apparently our relationship was 'endless stress' for him. He told his friends "she isn’t the one for me."