Emotionally devastated after breakup

[Dreamatorium]

Hi everyone, my name is Matt and I'm having an exceptionally difficult and emotionally tumultuous post breakup period.

 

I know that the amount of time may make some of you think I'm being dramatic (something I feel guilty about) - but my ex girlfriend and I were together for about 4 months before she left me. I'm 22, she's 20 and has a 3 year old kid.

 

During our relationship we spent nearly every waking moment together while her parents watched her kid. We both work full time and she would usually stay at my place. I recognized that she lives through a lot of struggles and did a lot for her. I always made sure she was fed, drove her to and from work every day, always treated her like the most valuable thing in my life.

 

In the beginning of November I was in a car accident that could have been fatal - it totaled my car and stressed me out. Two weeks later, citing that I was "bent half the time" (I was very morose ontop of already being predisposed to blaming myself for everything) and needing more affection, she left me via text.

 

All of this after stepping into a partial fatherhood role for her kid. I'm manic depressive and generally introverted so having her in my life, always by my side and as a best friend and companion gave me boundless joy, kept me grounded and just gave me purpose.

 

This was a month ago and I'll admit that I still look at her Facebook sometimes. She shares posts and makes statuses, acting like I left her and I'm the bad guy even though I fought for our relationship until the end.

 

 

I'm angry every day, I find no fulfillment in anything and I spend my free hours either pacing endlessly - taking up to 20,000 steps in a day - or occasionally hanging out with a few friends. I only eat when I take xanax for my condition, resulting in me becoming unhealthily whipcord-thin.

 

I know this is a long post but I'm really, really hurt. NC started almost immediately, save for when I texted her once a week later saying I miss her (huge mistake, I know), only for her to tell me to go away. I never did anything to hurt this person!

 

Thanks in advance for any advice you guys can give, I really could use it at this point.

[dave_1966]

You drove her away when she realised that she was the only purpose in your life, women love a man who has a passion or career that keeps him focused and busy. Concentrate on building your own life up with passions that are outside of relationships, it will make you far more attractive to the opposite sex. She was also a very young single mother who's centre of attention has to be her child, you're way too young for that sort of responsibility so try and find someone with no baggage. It should be very easy at your age.

[Dreamatorium]

So again, it's my fault. Before things went bad, she'd take personal offense when I told her that I wanted a couple hours of free time before or after work to focus on my personal hobbies like reading. "So you don't wanna spend time with me?"

 

Her feeling bad would make me immediately try to remedy the situation by spending even more time with her. Just a week before she left me she told me she loved me and that I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had. It doesn't make sense to me.

[MissCanuck]

Is her child's father in the picture?

[Wiseman2]

Wow..sorry to hear this. She sounds like a user. So you drive, feed, take care of her, etc? Then this damsel in distress dumps you via text when you get injured in a car crash?

 

Just wow. Block and delete her. Take care of yourself and your recovery and your bipolar management. Women like this are not worth it no matter how hot they are.

[Dreamatorium]

Wow..sorry to hear this. She sounds like a user. So you drive, feed, take care of her, etc? Then this damsel in distress dumps you via text when you get injured in a car crash?

 

Just wow. Block and delete her. Take care of yourself and your recovery and your bipolar management. Women like this are not worth it no matter how hot they are.

 

I understand. She lives in squalor with her kid, her parents and two teenage brothers and honestly isn't the striking image of female beauty at all. But I thought I loved who she is despite her (admittedly justifiable in some aspects) debilitating self image problems.

 

I saw a person to help build a future with, hence the rides, work I did for her and the acceptance of her kid into my life. There was a time that, when her kidnwouldnt go to sleep, she verbally threatened to kill herself infront of both of us. But I ignored and accepted that.

 

Also, the father left without paying child support. She financed a $3000 puppy despite the water being shut off in her house for a month.

[Wiseman2]

She needs serious mental health, social services and legal support and resources, not a relationship or a rescuer.

 

So many red flags, however you need to reflect why you want someone so damaged to fix up.

She lives in squalor with her kid, her parents and two teenage brothersThere was a time that, when her kid wouldnt go to sleep, she verbally threatened to kill herself infront of both of us. She financed a $3000 puppy despite the water being shut off in her house for a month.

[Dreamatorium]

She needs serious mental health, social services and legal support and resources, not a relationship or a rescuer.

 

So many red flags, however you need to reflect why you want someone so damaged to fix up.

 

It was never about fixing. I fell head over heels for this person and they initiated the long term modes of thought. After just 2 months it was "I love you, this is the house we're gonna live in together!" She started with that after such a short amount of time, not me. .. I supported her every endeavor under the belief that she would be able to follow through because I'm a monogamous, romantic and committed person.

 

When the relationship's upkeep became inconvenient for her due to my stress from almost dying, she left. Cut all contact with me, as if I'd never existed in her life and found a rebound within 2 weeks. Honestly I don't understand it to the point where I'm beginning to think that there is something wrong with her mind.