Finally trying to move on...

[Lovelorn2016]

So, I hope that I've made a big step in trying to move on today. I've decided to put my notice in and give up my part time side job, where my unrequited crush also works. We had a mutual interest in each other in august, but then She turned me down In early September. She said we can be friends, and I tried my best to be friends, but in reality I wasn't able to shake those feelings I developed in august, and just kinda lived with this hope that she'd get that interest back again. We'd kept in contact every day in some way, up to about a month ago, although it was me doing most of the initiating of the conversation. I sort of thought she was coming back around and we were really becoming close again in October, and at the beginning of November, I crossed the line and tried asking her out. I wasn't really trying to make it look like a date date, but more like a hang out kind of thing. She didn't directly say no, but just avoided the invitation afterwards, and also after this she started to stop responding to my texts, even texts with questions, and slowly cut off almost all contact outside of work, also unfriending me from her main facebook account. Even at work, some days she would be nice and talk like always, and other days it seemed like she was trying to avoid me. I mean yeah the cues have always been there, and still there are times even now where I still make excuses and hang onto this false hope. hopefully this will be a big step in accepting, recovering, and moving on.

[Iamflowergirl]

Hey I'm glad you are finally able to move on. Hang in there because it will get better.

[Lovelorn2016]

Thank you! It wasn't as easy as it seems, but hopefully this will help, even though i still have two more weeks to work there, maybe 4-5 more times working with her...

[Iamflowergirl]

Just focus on your job and ignore her. Sure it's easier said then done but you can do it. I would advise doing any talking with her unless it's work related

[Lovelorn2016]

Do you think it would be a good idea, if I were to send her a message in two weeks after my last day, just telling her how I felt, and that I have no hard feelings?

[Wiseman2]

No that's creepy. If you do contact her after you resign, simply ask if she would like to have coffee. If she's not interested delete/block her and go no contact and move on.

Do you think it would be a good idea, if I were to send her a message in two weeks after my last day, just telling her how I felt, and that I have no hard feelings?

[Lovelorn2016]

Omg, so tonight was the first time her and i worked together since i put my notice in. I didn't know what to expect. She was a little upset that i didnt tell her beforehand i was leaving, and had to hear it from someone else. I appologised and explained, and then by the end of the night we were joking around and having a good time like we'd used to. Then after work, we had the work christmas party. Not too many people showed up because of bad weather, but her and i both were there and ended up sitting by each other. So, it was a good time, and then when we both got home, we messaged each other that we got home safely, and then back and forth for a little bit. She mentioned she was sad i was quitting, and was going to miss me.. So yeah, the part about hoping to move on took a few steps back again tonight.

[Lovelorn2016]

It has been a lot easier in the week since I've left. I have started to realize and accept to not expect anything. I'm finally starting to let go. She's not completely gone from my life though. I'm finally just not letting it consume me like before. I ended up sending her a short message saying it was great working together, and I'd miss her, hoped she finds a better job soon, and I'd always put in a good word. Then I said I still felt that certain kind of way, but hoped we could still be good friends, and to let her I'll be there if she ever needs anything. She replied saying thanks, and we'll always be good friends. She did wish me a happy birthday, and also beat me to wishing happy new year. Also, she saved me some coins at work, and I stopped in to buy them one night, visited for a little bit, and did a small favor.

Maybe it is possible to accept the friend zone in a non creepy way... I dunno..