Complicated ex

[AvaD21]

Hi guys,

 

I really need some clarity on whats going on right now, sorry for the long post in advance

 

So me and my ex hadn't spoken much, on sunday he tried to call me but my phone was off ended up ringing my mother who he hadn't spoke to in months & sent me a text to say he wanted to say how sorry he was

for something that had happened a couple weeks previous, it was nothing major it was just an awkward encounter we'd had that i didn't think much of after.

 

I was confused at why he'd gone to such an effort to speak to me. I rang him the next night to say id gotten his text and i accept the apology. In our usual stupid style, we talked about the other people in our lives, ive been casually seeing

someone and he has too, for a couple of months. Anyway that conversation ended and the next day he rings me whilst im at work, which is just bizarre for him to be so impulsive.

 

He said he really needed to speak to me and i weighed it up in my mind. I guess i figured i didnt want to regret not seeing him/ hearing him out. I went to see him & basically he told me he felt like he was realising that he wanted to be with me

That the girl hes with he doesnt feel the same for, he says that of course after 2 months he has feelings for her but doesnt see it going very far. He says when hes with her sometimes he's thinking of me, he has cancelled plans on her twice now

because he wanted to meet me (i didnt know until after) he says he still has feelings for me.

 

We talked for hours, i told him that even if nothing was to happen between us again that she wasn't right for him. We have been split nearly a year to the day.. This whole year we have not been able to let go.

 

Then we did, accepted that the other was with someone else, some very occassional contact in between months and now this.

He told me he was going to speak to her but had no idea how to handle it and that he's been so mad at me in recent months he's told her i was the love of his life but also some negative things which i expected.

 

I wasn't going to get in contact, let him deal with whatevers going on but part of me felt really hopeful that actually, there's something still there and do i really want to not try to see if we could be together.

 

He texted me this morning. He told her that he'd been with me and understandably she is very upset. Told him she feels he has taken her for an idiot which in some ways is true, not telling her that he was in some contact with me.

She said that she wanted to cool things off and he says hes confused because he feels upset about this. I reasoned that i think he feels guilty, he feels bad for making her upset and she hasn't done anything wrong for him to finish things with her its all been

nicely rolling along so of course hes going to doubt whether he should end things. At the same time when he's not in a mood of feeling guilty he has told me numerous times he thinks he rushed into it and doesn't have any strong feelings for her.

 

I understand why he feels the way he does. I think he's gone about this totally wrong by coming to me first. He should have dealt with her and then spoke to me.

Before any of you think its for sex, we haven't had sex in a very long time and he knows I wouldn't unless we were serious. I can;t wrap my head around all of this.

 

I have told him he needs to not be in contact with me and sort things out with her. But the other half of me doesn't want to be waiting in the wings. I can't wrap my head around the situation

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately all this drama is head games. If he's so keen to reconcile why is he still with her but trash-talking about her?

 

Do you wonder if she's hearing the same lines and trash-talk about you? Most likely. He's playing you both in a jealousy game.

 

Why bother listening to his play-by-play about how he's hurting her and jerking her around? Why waste your time on this garbage treatment and listening to his drivel?

 

If you are seeing someone why are you meeting up with him? Stop this nonsense and start to date or continue to date guys who are interested in more than lies and games and have some integrity.

he was realising that he wanted to be with me.That the girl hes with he doesnt feel the same for.He told her that he'd been with me and understandably she is very upset.

[Hollyj]

He wanted to be certain that you were open to the idea. I would bet that he would not have broken up with her, if you had said you were not open to reconciling. Pretty sleazy.

[AvaD21]

I know. My heads mashed

[Wiseman2]

Get off his chess board and stop being a pawn in his ego-games.

I know. My heads mashed

 

]

[Loralora]

I think he misses the sex with no strings attached. Based on your other posts he was keeping contact with you even after you broke up just for sex.

 

If he really wanted you he would make it clear and completely eliminate the other woman out of his life..

 

It's very clear he no longer wants you or will ever want or see you as his girlfriend again. You are now and will always be his booty call.

 

The sooner you see/realize this, the faster you will move on..good luck!