Bluebird97 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 A man I've liked for quite some time said to me, "(My name), you are a wonderful woman. Do you know that?" This was in response to a small kind gesture I made, where a simple 'thank you' would have been more than enough. He knows how I feel about him, and honestly, I've been a little too forward with my feelings and figured I would have scared him away by now. He's shy around me, although he goes out of his way to say hi and interact. I've never heard him say anything like this to anyone. Most things I've read about men complimenting women involve physical characteristics, such as, "You have pretty eyes" or "I like your sweater." I dont want to get my hopes up. So, what does such an over-the top-compliment mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 If I told a woman I was interested in, "you're beautiful," and she simply said,"thank you," I'd be moving onto new prospects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 He could just mean it as in your a good person, a wonderful woman....doesn't necessarily mean he has romantic intentions. Has he stated whether he is interested in you romantically? Have you asked him out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 I would never guess and make assumptions on a comment like that. It could simply mean he is expressing gratitude for what you did and does not mean it romantically what so ever. Unless he asks you out, I would just take it at face value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 It sounds like a bit of warm, friendly banter; I say things like this, and would be horrified if anyone took it as anything more than being humorous and over-the-top. If he already knows you like him, and has chosen not to take things any further, assume he's not interested in anything other than being friendly. He's probably flattered by your attention but that's all. Sometimes our wishful thinking goes into overdrive, and it honestly sounds as though that's what's happening here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 It's a lovely compliment. He knows you are interested and if he is interested in dating you he will ask you out on a date (or enthusiastically accept your invitation for a date). I would take it at face value -he thinks you are a wonderful person. If he intends to react to his opinion of you by asking you on a date, he knows how to do that. Until then assume he is not interested in dating you or available to date you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 It doesn't sound over the top if you were nice to him and in response to this kind gesture. It sounds like he's being a friendly coworker, because you've mentioned to him several times how you feel but he keeps telling you "I think of you as a friend". Creepy compliments about appearance/physical characteristics are not common, contrary to what you read because they could be misconstrued as sexual harassment on the job. What was the kind gesture he was responding to?A man I've liked for quite some time said to me, "(My name), you are a wonderful woman. what does such an over-the top-compliment mean?he denied everything including any possible feelings. I'm average height and a little curvy, but people sometimes tell me I'm pretty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluebird97 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Share Posted December 13, 2016 No, I think you musunderstood. He could have just offered me a simple 'thank you', but instead he said im a 'wonderful woman'. I went up to him the next day and hugged him and told him how sweet his compliment was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 A man I've liked for quite some time said to me, "(My name), you are a wonderful woman. Do you know that?" It's a heck of a lot nicer than "you the bomb," or "bombdiggity"...lol) or "you look hot," which is what I get a lot. One of my bosses actually tells me I'm the bomb a lot, after I complete a task. Anyway, I wouldn't read too much into it, and your response "thank you" was fine. Since you liked him, you might have shown a bit more enthusiasm though, maybe like "thanks! You too!" Then he might have responded "you mean you think I am a wonderful WOMAN too? LOL" Get a little fun banter going. But your response was fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 For some reason, I read "beautiful woman," but I guess I misread. I'd agree that calling you a wonderful woman is neutral and "thank you" is fine. A woman I contract with recently called me a "really great guy" after doing her a solid, and I didn't think anything of it. Having given him the hug and the verbal appreciation is icing, and I wouldn't assume anything more until he asked you out-- unless you want to take matters into your own hands and ask him yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 What was the kind gesture his remark was in response to? No it's not over-the-top and it doesn't mean he's into you. I've said that to my 80 y/o neighbor when she brought over cookies. I think he sees you as a very nice woman to work with but he is not romantically interested even though you are. He could have just offered me a simple 'thank you', but instead he said im a 'wonderful woman'. I went up to him the next day and hugged him and told him how sweet his compliment was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 It means you need to ask him out on a date that is what it means. Stop wasting time and ask him. The worst thing that can happen is that he says no thank you. In life most things you want don't just simply walk up and drop on your doorstep do they? You have to go out and get them so go get him!!! It only takes a little bit of bravery on your part to see what will happen. You already know he is a good guy and will not hurt your feelings so go for it. Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 You did something nice, he complimented you for it. Pretty ordinary social interaction between people. Sorry but there is no subtext here and absolutely nothing to read into. Since you have a crush on him, of course you want more meaning, but unfortunately there is none. If he knows you like him but has not asked you out, he is not interested in getting involved with you and that's that. I'd work on getting over him and moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 It means you need to ask him out on a date that is what it means. Stop wasting time and ask him. The worst thing that can happen is that he says no thank you. In life most things you want don't just simply walk up and drop on your doorstep do they? You have to go out and get them so go get him!!! It only takes a little bit of bravery on your part to see what will happen. You already know he is a good guy and will not hurt your feelings so go for it. Lost I disagree. She's made her interest clear so he can ask her out too. No need for bravery to ask someone out - it's not a big deal. However, it's often not the answer in every situation where a woman is unsure of a man's interest -all else equal it's still true that most men if they are interested in dating a woman and available to date - and especially if the person already is aware of the woman's interest, that he will do the asking out and that it often works out better that way if both are looking for something more long term. Also she already went the extra mile with her gesture. His turn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 I agree with Batya, she already expressed how she feels, it's not like he's in the dark. If he was interested back, he would have asked for a date by now. She responded by giving him a hug, it's his turn now to express interest. There's a fine line between her showing interest and being pushy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluebird97 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Share Posted December 13, 2016 The kind gesture was that I put something away for him. He has said we're just friends, but he was talking with one of our mutual friends one day. She mentioned that I liked him (her idea) and how we would look cute together. He supposedly grinned really big and said, "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how this works. I've never had a girlfriend before." This makes me think maybe he is interested on some level, but he doesn't know how to go about initiating anything. I don't know. I've made an attempt to move on, but it seems like when I try to ignore him, for example, walking 50 ft away from him in the dark parking area with my head down and trying to walk behind objects so he doesn't see me (just to see what he will do), he still tries to greet me/talk to me. Also, why would he even risk complimenting me knowing that I will think that he likes me if he doesn't feel the same? Wouldn't most people avoid complimenting someone whose feelings are not reciprocated? We don't even work in an environment where communicating with one another is necessary. If he doesn't like me in that way, I would almost rather he just completely avoid me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 He of course knew that your friend was trying to manipulate the situation and so he did his best to not give a real answer. Of course he knows how to ask someone out and if he doesn't then he's not available for a relationship. Many people compliment people they are not interested in dating. It's also fun to compliment someone when you know for sure that person is highly interested in you -so interested that she'd pull a high school maneuver and have a friend talk to him on her behalf. If you don't want to interact with him unless he has the intention to date you then keep your answers brief and avoid him while still being polite/professional. He is not leading you on -he simply complimented you. Leading on would be if you asked him out and he said no he just wanted to be friends and then still heavily flirted with you -that might be closer to leading on. He already told you he doesn't want to be other than friends. Believe that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 Well the ball is in his court now. All you can do is see if he works up the courage to ask you out or to pursue anything. until then I wouldn't put too much time and energy into this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 To be honest this is a work place not a singles bar/dating site...except in your mind. You are Not in a relationship. He is at work and does Not have to take heed on your romantic musings. He can do whatever he wants at work without tiptoeing around your crush. It's your problem, not his. He is merely being a nice friendly coworker and you are the one who is obsessing over this inappropriately at the work place. People go to work to work not to consider all the possibilities of anyone who may be crushing on them. That's creepy.why would he even risk complimenting me knowing that I will think that he likes me if he doesn't feel the same? If he doesn't like me in that way, I would almost rather he just completely avoid me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 I've made an attempt to move on, but it seems like when I try to ignore him, for example, walking 50 ft away from him in the dark parking area with my head down and trying to walk behind objects so he doesn't see me (just to see what he will do), he still tries to greet me/talk to me. Also, why would he even risk complimenting me knowing that I will think that he likes me if he doesn't feel the same? Wouldn't most people avoid complimenting someone whose feelings are not reciprocated? We don't even work in an environment where communicating with one another is necessary. If he doesn't like me in that way, I would almost rather he just completely avoid me. I think you are way over-thinking this Bluebird. Seriously. This is your place of employment, it would be awkward for him to avoid you or not talk to you. He may believe you like him, but I highly doubt he knows how much you like him, and that you are reading so much into everything he says and does. He paid you a nice compliment at work, he talks to you, these things are not a big deal and should not be analyzed and dissected to the nth degree. Also, you say you ignored him, head down, hiding behind objects so he wouldn't see you, WTH. TBH he probably didn't even notice these things. He saw you and made an attempt to say hi and talk to you because you are co-workers and friends, nothing more, nothing less. If he wanted something more, he would do something about it, like asking you for a date. I don't buy this "I don't know how this works ****." Give me a break. 15 year old boys who have never had a gf, know how it works for heaven's sake. It's not that complicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 Do you mind if I ask how old are you? Because it makes a difference between teenagers and young 20 somethings and older. I am surprised he has never had a girlfriend before, makes me think he's quite young? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaggerJim Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 It's not a compliment to someone you have the hots for. It's more like a "let down" comment. He wants to compliment you in a way to say he's not interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 Do you mind if I ask how old are you? Because it makes a difference between teenagers and young 20 somethings and older. I am surprised he has never had a girlfriend before, makes me think he's quite young? OP heard that second hand from her friend, plus not sure I believe him, he may have been joshing the friend as he doesn't feel the same and didn't know what to say. Or her friend told her that so as to encourage her to ask him out. Possibly. I don't trust things people tell me second hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluebird97 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Share Posted December 13, 2016 He's in his early 20's. I'm a few years older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 Please leave him alone and just let him do his job and be a friendly coworker. He doesn't want more and that is a very wise choice for him at the workplace. He may not want the complications of foolish workplace romances or he may not be into older women in general or you in particular. Let this go and relax. Why don't you get on some dating apps if you want a date or a relationship? Much less complicated than having to go to work and interpret every glance or word and piece of gossip.He's in his early 20's. I'm a few years older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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