should i suspect infidelity ??

[BGordon11]

Unless asked additional information , I will try to make a long story short ; Our history goes all the way back to him being 17 && taking my virginity at 14 . i just turned 26 && him , 28 . we have a four year old daughter together . we tied the knot five months ago and ever since the second month , he's left the home six times now after an argument . our financial status is poor && we've had to house hop more times than five . staying with his family && all , he still didn't hesitate to leave me && my children . now , I won't lie and say I never once told him to leave but after the third argument I noticed he'd leave around the same time every month && wouldn't come back for a week exactly each time . even when we'd talk things over and be on good terms after the second day of his absence , he'd still choose to be gone for seven days making excuses saying the home owner to where ever we were at the time didn't make him feel wanted . he acts like he's one of the "chosen" when it comes to the subject of the most high , spending time telling me the information he browses on the internet ..but at the same time , I just don't feel his actions follow his words . he doesn't have a phone , car , a credit card or anything that I can track his whereabouts so all I can do is wait for him to contact me . he feels I spend too much time on social media && constantly accuses me of talking to other guys when that is not the case . my morals are deprived of the biblical standard when it comes to marriage . period . he swears he hasn't cheated on me but its hard to believe when during each argument he calls me degrading names && tells me all these other guys can have me . my thing is this : a day or two to collect yourself is okay , I guess , although I prefer us to go in separate rooms or something ..but for a married man to be "in the streets" for a week straight ..around the same time every month ? and from there he is constantly on social media himself ..i question his whereabouts eveytime but his anwers are skeptical && when I ask the same question later on , he adds a part or leaves out what wasn't admitted earlier . am I tripping in assuming infidelity ? ..can someone please give me some insight ..i love my husband && desire to be with him but with all these accusations going on , our relationship is deteriorating faster than it was before we got married .

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. You both need to stabilize your lives for the sake of your child. Is he drinking or using drugs? You claim you know each other since you were 14, but you don't know anything about him including where he goes for weeks at a time?

 

How do you support yourselves? Are either of you working? How can he disappear if he has to go to work? Is he staying at friends family when you argue?

 

Learn to get along better and improve your financial status. Does he support you? Talk to a lawyer about having your marriage annulled or getting divorced. It's not working at all unless both of you stop fighting and he doesn't repeatedly abandon you.

we have a four year old daughter together . we tied the knot five months ago. he's left the home six times now after an argument he still didn't hesitate to leave me && my children . he'd still choose to be gone for seven days making excuses for a married man to be "in the streets" for a week straight

[j.man]

I think you should suspect a really ****ty marriage. What are you guys arguing about? Either he's got a piece on the side or he's legit miserable enough at home to put himself out of the house or couch surf for a week. Are you planning on working now that the kid is approaching school age (if you're not already)? Have you two considered marital counseling? Did these issues come up prior to the marriage as well?

 

I admit this is a post where I'd love to hear the other side of things.

[Edmund Exley]

I think you should suspect a really ****ty marriage. What are you guys arguing about? Either he's got a piece on the side or he's legit miserable enough at home to put himself out of the house or couch surf for a week. Are you planning on working now that the kid is approaching school age (if you're not already)? Have you two considered marital counseling? Did these issues come up prior to the marriage as well?

 

I admit this is a post where I'd love to hear the other side of things.

 

Said what I wanted to say but held off on.

 

Is it possible you are assuming cheating rather than holding yourself accountable for anything?

[DancingFool]

Seems to me like your issues would be mostly resolved by getting a job or two or three. No time then for bickering, couch surfing, playing diva, disappearing, wasting time on social media and arguing about that, worrying about cheating, or cheating for that matter, etc. Oh hey your financial situation would improve too. By jobs, I mean both of you even if it means working two jobs each to get up on your feet financially. I can't quite wrap my head around two able bodied 20'somethings with a child/children? not doing everything they can to have jobs and a stable roof over their head.

[j.man]

I can't quite wrap my head around two able bodied 20'somethings with a child/children not doing everything they can to have jobs and a stable roof over their head.

Ignore DF, OP. She just doesn't understand. I totally understand. In fact, I can imagine it with my future adult children.

 

Child: Dad, why couldn't we ever afford new shoes growing up?

Me: Cat videos, son. Cat videos.

[JustDave77]

he swears he hasn't cheated on me but its hard to believe when during each argument he calls me degrading names && tells me all these other guys can have me

 

He may or may not be cheating, but he's definitely going for the emotional abuse angle. Be careful