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In a dilemma ..and I hope that there may be an answer here.


I had purchased a condo for a low price after getting out of a very abusive relationship 2 years ago. The main problem is that the condo is in a retirement community which I am to young for and I have had a lot of trouble with the HOA. Having never been an owner and bouts of PTSD that had followed me after leaving the relationship. I had got way behind on my dues ...getting further into depression being in this "community". I have no contact with my neighbors. I have no car and have become more and more isolated. Weeks go by and I dont leave the house or talk to anyone (liberally), and I had fallen into a deep depression.


Now, I have back dues which have been doubled and if I don't pay the HOA is waving "Forecloses" in front of me, harrassing me and took away my passes. which has added even more stress. I am on a fixed income, but have a way to make a few extra dollars if I was able to get out.


Recently, I met up with a "friend" who is in Real Estate and offered to purchase the condo and with that pay off all the back expenses. One of the problems is that I am being offered an extremely low price compared to what other places

in here are going for. She told me that my place needs a lot of work (which it does) but the selling price still seems extremely low.


I felt as if I had no choice, the hole just kept getting deeper here. So, by chance found a great, but very small garage apartment in the heart of the city. The location is great and not having a car is no problem as I could walk everywhere. The biggest plus is that I have a chance to see people and connect and get possibly show my work and also get a small part time job to help with my income. Before this, friends seem to think I needed "Meds" (granted, I still suffer with the trama from the abusive relationship) but I knew most of the problem was where I was and being "trapped" here, because there was no options.


I had spent a few nights at the new location, and immediately felt a 1,000 times better. The place is a few steps from the beach and that alone made me feel better. I walked around and had lunch in the park, went into some stores (where I cannot afford anything), but that wasn't an issue, I enjoyed just seeing people and talking. I even had met a few new ones. Everything about my mood and feelings had changed. I began to have hope again. There is even a place that offers group counseling at the local church.


Now, I am having "second thoughts". The place I am supposed to move to is a bit more expensive, not by much especially with all the fees the HOA has placed upon me.


My concern with the new place is that I am renting a place from home owners. I don't know much about them and some of the things in the new place needs work and it seems that they "may" be reluctant to fix or don't want to hear about it. (Which I am only "assuming" since I haven't fully moved in yet). How do I find out if the owners are "decent" people?. They always seem to be away but have a women who is running the rentals. (There are 2 other renters on the property, whom I have not seen). It's a very large estate.

I am also concerned about the amount of money I am getting on the sale. Which would be just about a years worth to live in if I didn't get any work.


If I choose to stay where I am now, I have a little more security with being the owner and having a roof over my head, IF I pay my dues on time which is manageable. The flip side, is being stuck out here as mentioned, plus the very deep hole I am in and I worry about my isolation, overall health and depression. I have been using UBER, which I wasn't before this, but the bill is almost an extra 200.00 a month. The condo is not in the best shape, there are things that are falling apart. But, I keep thinking, Its a roof over my head, as opposed to going to the "unknown" where anything could happen.


Any thoughts and advice is appreciated.

I am really confused and running out of time to make a decision which I keep flip flopping on.

Thank You!

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It's interesting you are having a difficult time making this decision, because I recently got a job offer and am experiencing a similar struggle. Should I stay where I am even though it doesn't make me happy (but it's safe and I know what to expect), or should I take the new job even though I can't fully know what it will be like until it can't be taken back?


Just reading through your post it seems like the condo is not a good place for you to be, emotionally. The apartment sounds like a much better environment for you, but I can't answer all of the financial questions about the sale of the condo and the repairs your new landlords would need to make.


Do you have the option of talking with your new landlords and asking them if/when the needed repairs can be made? There response could be telling. Could you negotiate a higher selling price with the real estate agent? What if you decided not to sell to her -- do you think you could get more money for it than you've been offered?


I would get all the facts that you can get, then sit quietly and take a few deep breaths and ask yourself what you really want and what is best for you. I think there is a part of you that knows exactly how to proceed -- you just have to tap into your inner knowing and let go of your fears.

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Please keep in mind that the rental location is not a lifetime commitment. That is one of the nice things about renting -- if you really don't like it you can always find a new place when your lease ends. It does not sound like you can get out of your condo, which makes you unhappy, is expensive and inconvenient, any other way than selling to your friend.

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Why would you move from a place you can't afford to an even more expensive place? That's not financially smart and will only increase your stress. I agree you should sell the place but why can't you sell it to someone who will give you a good price for it and then move to a place that will actually allow you to save money? Stop making huge financial decisions on impulse. It's time to grow up and take control of your money.

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Unless you are able to catch up all payments and penalties with the HOA and fix up your place by yourself, you cannot expect to get market price for it.


Frankly, only investor type buyers will take on a troubled property like this, so yes, they will low ball you because they will need to invest a lot more in clearing title, making all back payments, legal fees for all that, fixing up the property and after all that they still need room left to make a profit on resale.


You are in a situation where beggars can't be choosers. If you don't catch up your payments, the HOA will foreclose and you'll be left with nothing. Frankly, you might want to consult with an attorney because it's possible that they can also sue you and force you out of living there because you don't meet their deed restrictions regarding age. Hanging on to this place is just a bad idea and HOA dues are a money pit that never ends.


My advice to you is get what you can for this condo and get out. The sooner the better. Cut your loses.


As for the rental, be sure you can afford rent. If as you say, you feel so much better there, you can walk places, you are able to get a job because of that, then it seems that it's a no brainer that you need to move.

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