Boyfriend left me in Mexico....

[stargirl858]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now, so naturally it was time to meet his entire family. My boyfriend is from Mexico and his family still live there. I was a bit nervous to meet them, mostly because I do not speak Spanish and they do not speak English, so the language barrier is intimidating to say the least. We went for a family reunion, and in the middle of the party he vanished to go meet up with some old friends he hadnt seen in a long time, leaving me alone with his family who I could not communicate with... awkward. O.o He returned around 2 in the morning and acted like everything was fine, except.. I felt abandoned and frustrated. This incident is something that we have not been able to get through yet and is weighing heavily on our relationship. Am I over-reacting? How should I deal with this situation...

[mustlovedogs]

On the one hand, I think he's allowed to leave you with his family... for short time periods. Maybe 45 minutes or so.

 

On the other hand, hours on end is extensive. His absence, to me, feels like he doesn't care a lot about you.

[Almira23]

I come from a large family where no one speaks a lick of English. If my boyfriend and I visited the country I am from, I would never just drop him off at a relatives house and go hang out with my friends.

It is awkward and I am sure he would feel extremely uncomfortable and my family would wonder what the heck to do or say due to the language barrier.

I don't quite understand why he left you there. Why weren't you invited to come along?

[j.man]

I think it was a bit rude, but I really can't see making a big deal of it. I'm assuming he lives most his life outside of Mexico, so I think he's allowed to book it with friends for an evening. He should at least give you a heads up and try to group you with some accommodating family members, but this doesn't sound like something that lends itself to a bunch of repeat offenses.

[melancholy123]

I tink he was wrong to leave you for hours with his family when he knew you could not communicate with them. You should discuss this with him.

[DancingFool]

He needs to apologize and mean it. You need to let it go once he apologizes.

 

Your very dramatic title of "my bf left me in Mexico" doesn't live up to reality. He left you with his family for a relatively brief period of time during your visit while he went to catch up with his friends. You were safe and sound regardless of the language barrier and your personal severe discomfort with that. Him leaving you without telling you where he is going was rude and he owes you an apology. However, if you were liable to pitch a fit about it, I can see why he chose to sneak off rather than tell you.

 

Bottom line is that if you are going to date someone from a different culture, you will need to get over your discomforts over language and culture barriers. Your SO cannot be expected to babysit you every single minute for the whole trip.

[SophieGrace]

Did he actually vanish with no explanation for hours, or did he tell you he was leaving and did he give you a time frame for when he'd return? I understand feeling awkward in a new situation, but what was your understanding with him before he left?

[butterfly45]

Why couldn't you go with him to see the friends??

[Tinydance]

Well I agree it's an awkward situation and yes he was technically rude but also it's a bit difficult to judge the whole situation without knowing more details about him. For example, how long had it been since he had not been back home in Mexico? Also, you say he went to see some old friends, were they close/best friends that he had known for a long time?

 

I mean you do have to remember that he had left his home country and all his family and friends behind so naturally he must have really missed them all and it was really important for him to see them. Because you'd been going out for two years, he probably feels in a bit of a "comfort" zone with you and might feel that you can do your own thing and don't need to be together 24/7.

 

I think whichever way you look at it, if his friends don't really speak English either then you wouldn't have felt comfortable around them the same way you didn't feel comfortable around his family. I know it may seem rude if they are speaking Spanish around you but if they basically don't speak English, what else can they do, how can they include you? I agree that maybe your boyfriend could have taken you along to meet his friends but he might have thought you'd be more comfortable at the party for whatever reason, if his friends don't speak English either.

 

I think if he apologised and you discussed it then you should just let it go. I mean he took you to Mexico to meet his whole family so obviously he does care for you a great deal and he's taking your relationship very seriously.