My Boyfriend Is Disgusted By Me

[Mzunderstood]

Since the last post we've been good. I've learned that I understand his frustration since he knows guys who have had his girl in ways he likes to only think of himself having me.

 

Today I decided to be captain honesty and tell him about this guy he seen at the mall. . How I used to talk to him and we had $ex. He did not disguise his disgust. He went "that's crazy" and this very disgusting "ugh!" Like I am just the nastiest thing in the world. Then he went on to mention all these guys he knew about because he was either close to them or knew them. He always brings this up and throws it in my face so I can feel like a disgusting wh0re. You guys. I was always a good girl.

 

Never been in trouble.

 

Virgin until 18.

 

Wondering how other girls could just freely be active like that.

 

I was also really kept. My mom didn't let me do much. . So once I was grown I went off. I still was never a scene girl. I was just freaky. I didn't go out and get drunk or high or none of that. I just used guys and sex to fill a void and feel better about myself. I had to learn how stupid it was and how it was out of spite.

 

Sadly the boyfriend I have now helped me. He has had $ex with way more women that I have men and he justifies with how old he is. I'm 24, he's 29. My number is high but not that high. Honestly. And I feel like crap because it makes me feel that I'm not lovable or I've ruined my life.

 

I don't want anyone to bash him.... I understand why he would feel some kinda way. Especially since he likes to think I'm so innocent. And my personality doesn't match the things I've done. I'm so sweet and I don't do wrong by anyone.

 

This all just makes me hate myself. Like I've literally ruined myself. . And any guy who ever loves me won't be able to look past any of that. No matter how good of a person I am and how good of a woman I strive to be now.

[Almira23]

I get it that you don't want anyone to bash your boyfriend, but why in the world do you continue being someone who is disgusted by you? It's really rather odd and confusing.

 

I also don't think its appropriate for you to constantly mention your hook ups. I would really be annoyed with my boyfriend if he was constantly pointing out the women he has slept with. Some things, I don't ask him about and I also do not need to know. What happened before me is really none of my concern or something that I have control over.

 

If you want to continue this type of relationship fine, but either he will have to stop bashing you about your past or you would have to stop constantly disclosing your past endeavors. Either way, it's completely silly that you are even still entertaining this relationship.

[j.man]

Today I decided to be captain honesty and tell him about this guy he seen at the mall. . How I used to talk to him and we had $ex.

If I was at the mall with my girlfriend going to Foot Locker and she suddenly went, "Oh, PS, I ****ed that dude over there," I'd be disgusted, too. I just wanted some new kicks and now I get to picture the guy sitting outside of Cinnabon having sex with my girlfriend.

 

How exactly do you want / expect him to react to something like that?

[shellyf62]

I have no idea why you would tell him that.

I also have no idea why you need to tell a new partner how many past partners you have had. It is no ones business but yours.

I never talk about my past sex life & I dont want to know about my new partners either.

You need to learn that you dont have to tell your bf everything. Keep your past to yourself & dont let others judge you on it.

 

Also this one has no respect for you, so I would leave him.

[sara-pezzini]

Why are you two keeping score?

I don't think he's so much disgusted with you as well with the fact he now sees you in his head having sex with the guy from the mall.

Don't ask, don't tell....your man doesn't need to know every little detail about you and vice versa.

But i can't for the life of me figure out when if you know he had issues with the subject before, that you go tell him something like that!

Just don't talk about the past sex conquests anymore, both of you!

 

Just read your other thread as well and he doesn't respect you indeed, so he could do whatever in the past but you get judged and criticised for it? How's that fair?

This is his personality and now it's in the issue of sex but this will be how he handles all arguments.

You don't need to be treated like that!

[pippy longstocking]

I don't understand this one bit ...captain honesty ? More like captain needs to put a lid on it .

[j.man]

captain honesty ? More like captain needs to put a lid on it .

[video=youtube;XaRkVnysuMU]

[pippy longstocking]

[video=youtube;XaRkVnysuMU]

 

hahahaha oh that is getting nicked and taken straight to facebook

[sara-pezzini]

I don't understand this one bit ...captain honesty ? More like captain needs to put a lid on it .

 

Hahaha this gave me a good laugh! Been up all night sick but this was so funny that i forgot I'm sick!

[MissCanuck]

What kind of reaction were you hoping for, OP? Were you trying to make him jealous, or? There's a vast difference between honesty and having zero filter. You fall into the latter category here. Telling him something like that was, well, a poor judgment call on your part.

 

Overall, your relationship sounds unhealthy.

[Capricorn3]

I don't understand this one bit ...captain honesty ? More like captain needs to put a lid on it .

 

Yes, yes, yes! Totally agree.

[Mzunderstood]

I get it that you don't want anyone to bash your boyfriend, but why in the world do you continue being someone who is disgusted by you? It's really rather odd and confusing.

 

I also don't think its appropriate for you to constantly mention your hook ups. I would really be annoyed with my boyfriend if he was constantly pointing out the women he has slept with. Some things, I don't ask him about and I also do not need to know. What happened before me is really none of my concern or something that I have control over.

 

If you want to continue this type of relationship fine, but either he will have to stop bashing you about your past or you would have to stop constantly disclosing your past endeavors. Either way, it's completely silly that you are even still entertaining this relationship.

 

I only say that (Don't bash him) because the post will make it come off as he is someone who treats me bad and that's nowhere near the case. An outsiders will respond to this as such and it isn't fair I think. And I only mentioned it because in the past when I was honest about how I knew a guy I was labeled a liar.... so I said maybe this time I should just say up front as opposed to waiting until the opportunity presents itself again and he's like "why didn't you tell me that last time?? Thus calling me a liar. But this time he just said he doesn't want to hear anymore. He usually tells me he's had sex with a girl if she comes up in conversation.

[Mzunderstood]

If I was at the mall with my girlfriend going to Foot Locker and she suddenly went, "Oh, PS, I ****ed that dude over there," I'd be disgusted, too. I just wanted some new kicks and now I get to picture the guy sitting outside of Cinnabon having sex with my girlfriend.

 

How exactly do you want / expect him to react to something like that?

 

The same way I react to him. Like it was before me so it's irrelevant.

[Mzunderstood]

Why are you two keeping score?

I don't think he's so much disgusted with you as well with the fact he now sees you in his head having sex with the guy from the mall.

Don't ask, don't tell....your man doesn't need to know every little detail about you and vice versa.

But i can't for the life of me figure out when if you know he had issues with the subject before, that you go tell him something like that!

Just don't talk about the past sex conquests anymore, both of you!

 

Just read your other thread as well and he doesn't respect you indeed, so he could do whatever in the past but you get judged and criticised for it? How's that fair?

This is his personality and now it's in the issue of sex but this will be how he handles all arguments.

You don't need to be treated like that!

 

Tried don't ask don't tell and when the dark became light I was called a liar. Thus why I feel the need to be "captain honesty" I didn't just decide this. Lol

[Mzunderstood]

I have no idea why you would tell him that.

I also have no idea why you need to tell a new partner how many past partners you have had. It is no ones business but yours.

I never talk about my past sex life & I dont want to know about my new partners either.

You need to learn that you dont have to tell your bf everything. Keep your past to yourself & dont let others judge you on it.

 

Also this one has no respect for you, so I would leave him.

 

Tried don't ask don't tell and when the dark became light I was called a liar. Thus why I feel the need to be "captain honesty" I didn't just decide this. Lol

[Mzunderstood]

I don't understand this one bit ...captain honesty ? More like captain needs to put a lid on it .

 

Tried don't ask don't tell and when the dark became light I was called a liar. Thus why I feel the need to be "captain honesty" I didn't just decide this. Lol

[Mzunderstood]

What kind of reaction were you hoping for, OP? Were you trying to make him jealous, or? There's a vast difference between honesty and having zero filter. You fall into the latter category here. Telling him something like that was, well, a poor judgment call on your part.

 

Overall, your relationship sounds unhealthy.

 

Tried don't ask don't tell and when the dark became light I was called a liar. Thus why I feel the need to be "captain honesty" I didn't just decide this.

[notalady]

So if I understand correctly, you've slept with lots of guys he knows and he hears things, that's why you feel the need to give him these info yourself?

[Wolfshook]

Your mister honesty should be fired because he's not doing his job. It's one thing to be honest and whole another to go through a street and say "oh I fcked that guy, oh look I fcked that one too", etc.

 

Keep that to yourself. I honestly wouldnt want (or care) who fcked my gf before, unless there is STD I need to know about.

 

Btw if it's too much why doesnt he break up with you? I mean,it's not like you can undo your number, it's here and he has to live with it.

[Unreasonable]

Um, you don't need to be "captain honesty." There's certain things you definitely DON'T need to freely babble on about with no prompting. Exes, past hook ups, and people you currently find attractive being some of those. I would classify that more as "Captain Verbal Diarrhea."

[Mzunderstood]

So if I understand correctly, you've slept with lots of guys he knows and he hears things, that's why you feel the need to give him these info yourself?

 

That is exactly it.

[vivnshol]

Your past is in ur past, try to make peace with it and leave it behind you, so when u enter a relationship u won't keep repeating everything from ur past to ur partner and make them question your character. You really don't need to tell him how many pple u've been with in ur past. Let it go and be happy in ur present.

[notalady]

That is exactly it.

 

Then I would suggest you rethink your relationship with him.

 

A partner who loves and respects you would have defended you to people who talk about your unsavoury past in front of him, by telling them he doesn't want them to talk disrespectfully about his partner and he doesn't want to hear about your past.

 

Not only did he not do that, he has let you know he knows, and openly expressed his disgust with your past.

 

It's not a matter of you need to disclose more to him, your past is none of his business.

 

It's a matter of him disrespecting you. And your over sharing is only fuelling that disrespect, not making it better.

 

If he cannot accept your past, he can leave. Equally, you shouldn't date someone who disrespect or show disgust towards you. I also suggest you date someone who is not in this circle of people who you've slept with. I mean, it's hard not to hear things when they all know each other and hard not to form pre-conceived opinions. But then if that's the case, the guy who doesn't think much of you shouldn't be dating you.

[Longview01]

Have you thought about dating someone grown up and maybe keeping stories of who you slept with to yourself?

[ParisPaulette]

1. You need to date someone who is mature enough and 21st Century enough not to pull the whole "It's different for guys having sex than it is girls" routine AND

 

2. Learn that TMI is just not appreciated by even the best of us, let alone the worst.

 

Neither one of you should be pointing fingers at the other about anything in your past. Neither.one.of.you.

 

If this is what you call a good relationship then OP you need to rethink relationships. I can't even imagine the score card Olympic-style cluster you know what this whole thing appears to have become between the two of you trying to one-up the other in the sex department and the oh my gosh oh golly you had sex with other people before me? Oh wow how dare you! routine.

 

Seriously, we have war all over the planet, unemployment and illiteracy at an all time high, elephants are now being born without tusks, because we've harvested and poached them to the point the species is mutating to try and keep itself from dying out from a##hats who think killing an elephant for its tusks is a great thing to do, and you all are over there keeping score of who slept with who?

 

You all need to find better uses for your time. No it's not okay he judges you, it's also not okay you rub salt into his issues knowing you won't get a sane response back. You need to stop asking people what we think, what do you think OP. And more importantly, what are you going to do about it?