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Christmas visit plans


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This is not a huge crisis or anything, I'm just having a hard time figuring it out on my own. I live several hours from family and do not have a car. Because of my work schedule, I tend to spend Dec. 25th alone (I celebrate Christmas with bf and his family, but they celebrate on New Year’s Eve Weekend). I don’t really care for the holiday, but in the spirit of being social and because the holiday is over a weekend this year, I offered to go to the town where my aunt and best friend from childhood live via train. They were both very excited! Fast forward a month and my aunt has rescheduled her Christmas party to a date I work/can’t attend and friend is going to a vacation home in a town not accessible by train/bus. Friend is requesting I rent a car to visit them. At this point, I’d like to cancel the trip because I don’t feel like driving 10 hours in rental car on my holiday weekend. I liked the idea of an easy train trip, but this seems like a hassle. I know they wouldn’t do the same to see me. I am having a hard time telling them I changed my mind, I guess because it would mean canceling plans on Christmas and that seems so scrooge-like and selfish, and perhaps lazy. I know most families probably deal with far more hassle than I do, but at the same time most families probably value Christmas more than I do. What do you think? Do I need to deal with the hassle in the spirit of friendship, or does it make sense for me to reschedule my trip?

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If it was me I'd reschedule the trip. 10 hours in a rented car by myself would make me crazy long before I got there! I'd rather be home by myself and make a nice dinner and watch movies. Do you not have at least one friend who will also be by themselves at Christmas that you can get together with?


If you want to share the spirit, volunteer at a soup kitchen or seniors' home etc. so you can be with others and do something good for the community.

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Can you do a train part way to your friend's place & then rent a car the last few hours? Seems unlikely logistically, just throwing it out there.


I probably would cancel too. 10 hours by car is much different than a train ride & you're still giving them a couple weeks notice.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Seems rather inconsiderate of both of them to change plans and not consult with you first, especially since they were so excited that you were coming out in the first place.


10 hours by car? Heck no. This is supposed to be a time to relax and celebrate; this is not a scene from Planes, Trains & Automobiles.


I know you would love to be able to see them, but I would politely cancel, citing exactly what you had said above - Christmas party happening on a day you work and can't get out of, and 10 hour drive to see friend at vacation house seems counterproductive as you're on limited time. You're still giving adequate notice.

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