Is it petty or red flags?

[mandeelove]

1) You are dating someone exclusively but they refuse to add u on their facebook. They even go as far as to block u so u cant add them. However they add everyone else, even someone they dont know personally but only heard of.

 

2. They never let the cell phone out of their sight. Always hides it away. Even turns it when they get a text if i am near. If they want to take a pic they wont use their phone because then I'd have to hold it !! One time they 4got their phone and left it near me . They went to the bathroom but quickly ran back for the phone after getting into the bathroom! They played it off like ohh I dont have to pee anymore. Anything for that cell phone!!

 

Yes I have saw this man lie to me before over small irrelevant things so Im sure I know the answer to these questions. I just wanted opinions. But I am not a secret to friends or family and everyone knows he has a gf which is why this boggles my mind. i have left him several times but he always cmes back sweeter than ever. Y come back to be like this when he can just be single living his life ?

[Wiseman2]

What is his reasoning regarding fb?

I am not a secret to friends or family and everyone knows he has a gf which is why this boggles my mind.

[rosephase]

You've met his friends and family? How long have you been together? Why do you get back together with him after you've left him?

[DancingFool]

Why on earth are you still with him and why do you keep taking him back?

 

He does what he does because you tolerate it. It's really that simple. If you had a real problem with it, you'd dump his sorry behind and never look back. You know this. So what's stopping you? Why keep putting up with it? This isn't about him or why he does what he does. This is about you why you are tolerating him.

 

Btw, whether he does this because he is cheating OR because he is being intentionally petty and nasty to you, both are equally bad and grounds for dismissal with extreme prejudice. You are actively allowing this guy to treat you like dirt regardless of underlying motivation.

[mandeelove]

What is his reasoning regarding fb?

That it causes drama and was drama in his past relationships so he never befriends girlfriends on there.

[mandeelove]

You've met his friends and family? How long have you been together? Why do you get back together with him after you've left him?

8 months....yes I met them right away and been to all family functions. Well I fall for his bs" I'll be better" and he is better for a little....then back to his similar ways. Im in a battle with my brain and my emotions at this point .

[Wiseman2]

There you have it. This is his boundary with women he dates so you are no different. Why do you even care about this?

That it causes drama and was drama in his past relationships so he never befriends girlfriends on there.

[missmarple]

You may not be a secret to friends and family but he's definitely hiding things from you. I don't know how you put up with it.

[mandeelove]

There you have it. This is his boundary with women he dates so you are no different. Why do you even care about this?

Because he would rather block me and even break up, before adding me. Let his gf go instead of being a fb friend. Something strikes me as odd there.

[DaNgeRTasTiC]

The ONLY reason people behave with their phone like that is if they have something to hide. I have been down this road before. I think you know that though but are trying to deny it.

 

I can't blame you. No one wants to believe they are being cheated on or deceived.

 

The person is hiding something they do not want you to see. Start doing the same thing and see what happens.

 

If you start being accused of cheating....then he is cheating

[DancingFool]

Because he would rather block me and even break up, before adding me. Let his gf go instead of being a fb friend. Something strikes me as odd there.

 

......pretty much says it all doesn't it? So again.....why are you willing to put up with this?

[Doc Blaze]

soooo what was the drama on fb that was causing so many issues with past people ....hmmm

 

 

He is def hiding something.

[mandeelove]

The ONLY reason people behave with their phone like that is if they have something to hide. I have been down this road before. I think you know that though but are trying to deny it.

 

I can't blame you. No one wants to believe they are being cheated on or deceived.

 

The person is hiding something they do not want you to see. Start doing the same thing and see what happens.

 

If you start being accused of cheating....then he is cheating

Yes I never actually caught him or proved cheating but this was a major red flag. I give him the benefit of the doubt since theres no proof but things just dont add up and my gut tells me this based on his secretive behavior with the phone and facebook.

 

He never accuses me of cheating so thats odd too. He never even gets jealous.

[mandeelove]

......pretty much says it all doesn't it? So again.....why are you willing to put up with this?

I def took him back too many times and showed no self respect for myself but I honestly cant handle this type of relationship . Im reaching my breaking point and am thinking of blocking him once and for all.

[SherrySher]

Not adding you to his Facebook...jerk. This to me would be telling me straight out that he's not serious about me, that I am only another date for him and he doesn't see it going much further than that or serious enough to add me in with his friends and family..that would be crappy.

As for the phone...it's weird, I admit, he definitely does not want you to see anything on it.

I personally wouldn't like a man treating me this way

[DancingFool]

I def took him back too many times and showed no self respect for myself but I honestly cant handle this type of relationship . Im reaching my breaking point and am thinking of blocking him once and for all.

 

Don't think, just do it already.

[lostandhurt]

You are being hidden from some other woman either now or in the future.

 

Does not want you on social media at all. Cheating red flag

Will not let you touch his phone. Cheating red flag.

Takes his phone everywhere (bathroom) Cheating red flag.

Secretive when he gets texts or phone calls. Cheating red flag.

 

People that are good at cheating make you feel like you are being jealous or ridiculous and insecure. They are also really good at putting just enough truth into their lies to make them believable. Like meeting his family. Who knows what he told them about you.

 

I absolutely know you can do way better than this guy. He is just a player keeping you on the line while he keeps all his options open.

 

Dump him

Lost

[Sportster2005]

8 months....yes I met them right away and been to all family functions. Well I fall for his bs" I'll be better" and he is better for a little....then back to his similar ways. Im in a battle with my brain and my emotions at this point .

 

Your brain is losing

 

Seriously, people treat you the way you train them to. You have him trained to pretty much use you as a doormat. Raise your standards, demand more of your self.

[HeartGoesOn]

Because he would rather block me and even break up, before adding me. Let his gf go instead of being a fb friend. Something strikes me as odd there.

 

You're on the right track, yet what more do you need to know?

[katrina1980]

 

2. They never let the cell phone out of their sight. Always hides it away. Even turns it when they get a text if i am near. If they want to take a pic they wont use their phone because then I'd have to hold it !! One time they 4got their phone and left it near me . They went to the bathroom but quickly ran back for the phone after getting into the bathroom! They played it off like ohh I dont have to pee anymore. Anything for that cell phone!!

 

 

I can be a bit of a ball-buster sometimes so take what I say with a grain of salt.

 

But if it were me, the next time he goes to such great lengths to hide his phone, I would say "you know, you really need to get yourself another phone for your "private" business. No need to be knocking yourself out to keep it from me. Frankly, I don't give a crap what's on your damn phone anyway."

 

Then dump him, block, delete.

 

Just me. IMO this is a major RED FLAG, dealbreaker major.

 

Yes he's hiding something(s) from you, and from the way he knocks himself out trying to keep it from you, it doesn't sound good.

[notalady]

 

Yes I have saw this man lie to me before over small irrelevant things so Im sure I know the answer to these questions.

 

Concur with what everyone else said. But this stood out to me. People who lie about small irrelevant things, especially ones that make you think, why the hell would you even lie about that, there's no reason to? These are the ones that simply cannot be trusted, they are manipulative and dodgy as hell.

 

I don't know why they do it, I'm no psychiatrist, but I do know it's a big red flag and I'd stay away.

[Searching88]

sounds very sketchy. There's no reason to hide anything, and to consciously do it is weird. I mean, if I'm in a crowded public area and I get a text I might angle my phone so no one knows my business, but if you're with this guy there should be trust.

 

Blocked you on facebook? Yikes. I hate social media and think it's bad for relationships, but I'm the odd man out.

 

You deserve better than this.

[Wiseman2]

Because it is odd.

Because he would rather block me and even break up, before adding me. Let his gf go instead of being a fb friend. Something strikes me as odd there.

[reinventmyself]

I can tell alot about how someone handles their phone.

All that you mention would send me running.

 

I don't need access to anyone's phone but if you treat it like it might catch on fire, then I'm concerned.

 

I recall dating someone and when we turned exclusive and intimate he was being sketchy with his phone.

 

One night while walking into my house from his car I noticed he deliberately left his phone in the car.

I suggested he go and get it in case his 12 yr son needed him.

 

He insisted the boy was fine while with his mom.

I insisted he go back and get his phone with a firm smile on my face.

 

My instincts were right. . Another long story for another time.

[mandeelove]

I never understood why guys dont just leave a girl so they can play around. I dont force him to stay or beg him... and Im nagging to be around now because at this point Im on to him and he knows it. I ask 100 questions and he gets annoyed. So why would any guy want that drama. I have left him which should be a relief for him if hes a liar, but no, he comes back so idk why men even do this. I have known liars in my past and they opt out the minute I am catching on.