Go back and ask her out?

[Varg]

I have a question I never thought I would have to ask on the internet. I used to have quite severe sociophobia, that is now much, much milder. I am 26, introverted, male.

 

Yesterday I went out for a play with some friends. Right before the play one of the girls that worked there caught my eye. I had to ask her for some directions; During that brief interaction she was maintaining a strong eye contact and was constantly smiling which caught my attention. During the break periods, whenever I went past her she would look at me and smile. Same thing happened when we were leaving. She seemed very inviting (or she was just stressed with having to guide so many people and I was making her nervous – my eye contact is strong), unfortunately since I am socially disabled I didn’t talk to her not gotten her number since I was afeard of the reaction from my friends.

Is there a point to go back there to talk to her / invite her out after few days had passed? I think I won’t come as masculine as if I asked her then and there, however I would like to at least try.

 

What would I then tell her? “Hey, I noticed you the other night but was too much of a wimp to talk to you with my friends looking”

Conversation tips (or tips on how to turn this around) would be appreciated.

 

Maybe that is all just in my head and I have to go out more often.

[zeino]

I don't know what you could tell her or how you could invite her. I'm sure other ENAers will have good suggestions. But I'd like to say something. Going back there some time later does not make you appear any less masculine. Not at all. To the contrary, it indicates that you couldn't get her off your mind and maybe is a more thoughtful, balanced action than inviting someone there and then. It is also 10 times more sweet I think.

 

"Too much of a wimp to talk while my friends were looking" is full of negative stuff about yourself. Be a better friend to yourself and present yourself better - don't make your own antipropaganda at this stage. "I have been wishing to see you again since I saw you that day...." can be better. (With your own wording, it would be much better I suppose, I'm not a native speaker."

 

Or maybe just appearing there (would there be another play?) and starting a conversation based on this former recognition.

 

I would say give this a try even if it is an experiment. You may be rejected but we all do all the time. Don't worry if it's in your head, these things always go like this.

 

Welcome to ENA by the way.

[Varg]

I don't know what you could tell her or how you could invite her. I'm sure other ENAers will have good suggestions. But I'd like to say something. Going back there some time later does not make you appear any less masculine. Not at all. To the contrary, it indicates that you couldn't get her off your mind and maybe is a more thoughtful, balanced action than inviting someone there and then. It is also 10 times more sweet I think.

 

"Too much of a wimp to talk while my friends were looking" is full of negative stuff about yourself. Be a better friend to yourself and present yourself better - don't make your own antipropaganda at this stage. "I have been wishing to see you again since I saw you that day...." can be better. (With your own wording, it would be much better I suppose, I'm not a native speaker."

 

Or maybe just appearing there (would there be another play?) and starting a conversation based on this former recognition.

 

I would say give this a try even if it is an experiment. You may be rejected but we all do all the time. Don't worry if it's in your head, these things always go like this.

 

Welcome to ENA by the way.

 

Thank you for the reply.

That line was just a sarcastic hyperbole representing my disappointment in myself, I would never say that to anyone

[zeino]

Thank you for the reply.

That line was just a sarcastic hyperbole representing my disappointment in myself, I would never say that to anyone

 

Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding. See, that's exactly the kind of thing I'm capable of saying with the belief that sarcasm is the ultimate flirt I have attracted many people like that, too, but ultimately not advisable I think I was projecting.

 

Maybe you can say, "I want to say something to you but couldn't find anything but a sarcastic hyperbole representing my disappointment in myself so could you please fill in the blanks?" If she laughs at this, that will be one hell of a fantatistic match. If she stares, you've got to say sorry and run away

[James516]

Definitely, whenever meeting someone who you click with, just say something simple such as "This was a good conversation, it would be great to talk more. Would you like to meet for coffee?" As far as this woman, remember that eye contact when talking is normal and especially normal for anyone in a job that involves working with the public. It would be abnormal not to have eye contact. So nothing can be certain about that. What is important is that you found her attractive which makes things worth it to give a try.

 

Taking a risk, even without getting the wanted outcome, is far better than remaining on the sidelines wondering "what if".

[Varg]

Upon leaving, when everybody was saying goodbyes she only started smiling when I looked at her. That seemed more than friendly. Maybe I am pondering too much about it. I still am looking for tips on how to approach her and how/if I should mention seeing her before.