should I tell her she doesn't have to go out with me just to be nice?

[jackman1]

Hi guys I have gone out with this girl i really like for two dates. I just don't feel like she gives me the attentioni give her, the last time we went out was last week on Thursday and she said lt was great. We we're to go out this week too but we simply haven't talked since last Friday. I have been the one initiating conversation in the past (for the most part). I just thought i should call her now ask for the third date and also give her an option to decline if she isn't all that into me. (We haven't had anything sexual yet). Is that a good thing? Please advise...

[notalady]

Giving her an option to decline will make you look quite pathetic and lack of confidence.

 

She wouldn't go out on a date with you if she didn't want to (even if she had to find an excuse).

[greta96]

Absolutely not! Yes you can ask her out on a date, but do not ever do this: "give her an option to decline if she isn't all that into me. " It screams 'insecure' and "lame' and it's a big turnoff.

Don't worry, women usually won't go out with you out of pity, if they say yes to a date it means they are interested, even if just mildly for now. I'm sure if she's not interested she will just say no to the date, and come up with a reason as to why she can't make it.

[j.man]

Dude, I cringed just reading that.

 

Look, fact of the matter is there are some women who will go on two, three, even four dates with a guy they're not sure about or really aren't all that interested in so that they can tell themselves they'd completely vetted him. If that's the vibe you're picking up, then don't ask her out again. Or don't pay for her after the first date and she'll very likely weed herself out.

 

But if you're gauging this on the fact she's not communicating often between dates when you two have only been on two, then leave it be, don't send messages that ooze insecurity, and have fun on the third date. Gauge interest based on how well you two interact across the table, not over the phone.