How to make her fall in love again

[Brokennow32]

I don't have much to add other than this guy seems a little unhinged seeing he thought it ok to reach out to you after only one date with her?

Don't respond. Continue to take the high road. His behavior is concerning.

 

That's what I thought. I'm concerned for her in part becaue he sort of seems like a loose cannon. I don't know though. We will see what happens. I'm not stooping to his level though.

[Brokennow32]

I agree with this!

 

Speaking from experience (I have been in her shoes).... the best thing you can do (which you HAVE done) is tell her how you feel -- that you know you made mistakes, but have since introspected and learned, that you still have feelings for her and want to try again.

 

BUT... you understand she is seeing another guy, and you don't want to get in between, but if it doesn't work out, to contact you.

 

THEN PULL BACK. Date other girls, live your life. Don't call, don't text.

 

She KNOWS how you feel, so let her think about that, think about you, wonder about you and miss you.

 

THAT is how you rekindle old feelings, create that desire in her again.

 

She has to MISS YOU. Ache for you.

 

Being there for her and showering her with attention serves you no good purpose whatsoever. Oh she will love your attention, and HER BOYFRIEND's attention, she might even enjoy playing you guys against each other. But it serves YOU no good purpose because it won't create the raw desire for you like you have for her.

 

You sort of have to start from scratch with her -- like when you first met.

 

So again pull back.... let her think about you, wonder about you (and who you might be dating) and most importantly miss you.

 

That is how you re-build the attraction.....if it's even able to be re-built.

 

Depending on how happy she is with this new guy, it may not be.

 

She already knows how you feel, so it's her call. IF she misses you and feels that desire for you again, she knows where to find you.

 

Thank you. I'm going to give this one more date a chance, if it doesn't work out from there I am going to step back and cut contact for awhile. Continue to work on myself and try to see other people.

[katrina1980]

Thank you. I'm going to give this one more date a chance, if it doesn't work out from there I am going to step back and cut contact for awhile. Continue to work on myself and try to see other people.

 

Is it safe to presume she is exclusively dating her new boyfriend?

 

If so, jmo but I think it's rather crappy of her to accept a date WITH YOU (to see if there is a "spark'), while exclusively involved with another man.

 

She essentially wants to wait to see if there is a spark with you, and if so, she dumps the other guy. Ugh!!

 

That behavior shows a real lack of integrity, especially if she isn't honest with her new bf about going out with you and why.

 

And if she could do that to this guy, she could do it to you.... should you get back together with her.

 

Just sayin.

 

But good luck, I hope it all works out for ya.

[Brokennow32]

Is it safe to presume she is exclusively dating her new boyfriend?

 

If so, jmo but I think it's rather crappy of her to accept a date WITH YOU (to see if there is a "spark'), while exclusively involved with another man.

 

She essentially wants to wait to see if there is a spark with you, and if so, she dumps the other guy. Ugh!!

 

That behavior shows a real lack of integrity, especially if she isn't honest with her new bf about going out with you and why.

 

And if she could do that to this guy, she could do it to you.... should you get back together with her.

 

Just sayin.

 

But good luck, I hope it all works out for ya.

 

No they aren't exclusively together and she told him that she still has feelings for me and isn't ready for anything serious right now.

[boltnrun]

No they aren't exclusively together and she told him that she still has feelings for me and isn't ready for anything serious right now.

 

But is she still dating (excuse me, I mean "talking to") him?

[katrina1980]

She isn't dating the guy. She just recently started talking to him. They've gone on 1 date and she said things aren't serious with him because she still has some feelings with me.

 

And I wish I could say she wasn't worth it. But when I was doing my soul searching I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

 

Yes it sounds cliche.

 

I've thought about the other girls thing, and any time I talk to another girl she pops into my mind and I lose interest.

 

I just read this^, sorry, I would not have sent that second post (about her possibly lacking integrity) if I had read it.

 

If they just had one date, then he is not her boyfriend.

 

I don't even get the relevance quite frankly or why it even needed to be mentioned.

 

He is simply a guy she went on a date with. Big whoop

 

So feel free to pursue her but not like you are doing now, with all the morning texts, over the top compliments, it's too much.

 

Pace it out like you did when you first met. She knows how you feel and what you want. Don't go overboard about it.

 

She still needs to wonder about you and miss you to feel that raw passion and desire for you again.

 

Which is what you want.

[Capricorn3]

I realized I was a jerk

 

She can see that I'm a different guy but I feel that she's scared to take another chance with me. She says she still loves me, but that she isn't in love with me. .

I get the feeling she may "love" you as a friend, but not in a way where she wants to get back together again and be in a relationship with you. Whatever it was that ended the relationship, was enough for her not to want to go back (imo). You can't make someone fall in love with you, no matter how many nice dates and outings you plan to do with her. Sometimes one has to learn to accept that things are over and move on.

[Brokennow32]

Thanks for your advice everyone!

 

I put the ball in her court. I let her know how I feel. I told her to contact me if she wants to get back together. I'm not messaging her unless I hear from her.

 

She said that she does want to try the date this week to see if there is still a spark. I'm letting her notify me when is a good time and I'm not taking the initiative to set it up.

 

I even gave talking to another girl a try last night when I went out with my buddies. She was a nice girl and all but my heart is still with my ex so nothing came of it, but it's helpful knowing I have options.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. One step at a time backing away from the hurt and nonsense..

I told her to contact me if she wants to get back together. I'm not messaging her unless I hear from her.I even gave talking to another girl a try last night when I went out with my buddies. She was a nice girl and all but my heart is still with my ex so nothing came of it, but it's helpful knowing I have options.