My Emotionally Unstable Boyfriend Broke Up With Me?

[sortasad]

This relationship was the best one I had in my whole life. I could wholeheartedly say he was my first love. He was sweet and wonderful and always made me feel wanted and good about myself. I hadn't felt good about myself in a long time before he came along. For once, I felt happy and not bored with my life. It was perfect.

He had told me that he was slightly depressed, but he reassured me that he needed me to get through it. He told me so many things, like how I made everything better and how he could never imagine leaving me. Everything was fine.

Literally, one week we were great. Over the weekend, however, he was very bland over text. I asked him what was wrong and he claimed that he was upset about a few things and didn't want to talk about it. I didn't push it.

On Monday, I saw him again, and he was very distant. The next day, he opened up a bit more and acted more like his normal self, but was still distant compared to how he usually is. That is also the day he chose to dump me.

He told me that it wasn't my fault, he's just going through a lot and it would hurt him to drag a "perfect person" like me down with him. He told me he still loved and cared about me. He told me he still hoped we could be friends and I put on a show and smiled and said, "of course."

He texted me after we parted as well, telling me that he just needs to go through an "emotional and psychological detox" and he just doesn't want me to be a part of it all. He asked me if we were still friends and I again said, "of course."

The next day, however, he completely ignored me. We haven't said a word to each other since. We see each other four days a week, and he completely ignores my existence. We haven't even made eye contact.

What's wrong? I thought he wanted to at least remain friends?

After this breakup, I feel broken and worthless. When I'm around people, I'm fine. I laugh and all, but he's still at the back of my mind. It's awful. When I'm alone, though, thoughts of him overwhelm me and leave me sobbing into a pillow or something of that sort. I hate this. Before we dated, I was completely fine. Why can't I be fine now?

Does he really actually still "love and care about me"?? Or was that just an easy way to get out of the relationship? Where did I go wrong? How could he just ignore me like this? Was our relationship just a void of empty promises?

The worst thing is, he seems fine. Not upset at all. Laughing with his friends and all.

I just want some sort of explanation. But most of all, I just want him to come back. I wish he'd come back and tell me he misses me. How could things change in the matter of a week?

A friend of mine and him had actually texted and he told him he still "loves me" but he's just going through a hard time. How can you ignore someone you love?

It's been about three weeks since we've broken up and not said a word to each other. It hurts me so bad. I don't know how to bring him back or whether to know if this is actually completely over. How can I get him back?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. How long were you dating? Do you work or go to school together? It sounds like he's being honest and just can't handle a relationship right now.

 

Being friends after a breakup is often too difficult for people if they need to be alone as he stated he does. Also going no contact is another way for people to heal.

he just needs to go through an "emotional and psychological detox" We see each other four days a week, and he completely ignores my existence.

[sortasad]

We were dating for about two months, he broke up with me a few days before our three month anniversary. Yeah, we see each other at school.

[Wiseman2]

3 mos is about the time people may decide the newness has worn off and they really don't want to pursue it further.

 

Continue no contact and ignore him and leave him alone. This will help you heal and move on so you can start dating other boys at school.

 

Whatever he said doesn't matter because he simply doesn't want to date anymore.

We were dating for about two months, he broke up with me a few days before our three month anniversary. Yeah, we see each other at school.

[SooSad33]

I thought he wanted to at least remain friends?

- Very hard to try n be friends with someone you still hold feeling for. Maybe in another 6+ months, he'd be able.

 

And you can't expect him to be in contact with you daily anyways.. like it used to be. Space will happen now.

 

Don't pester him.. dont bother him in any way... accept what is now and respectfully back off.

This is time for YOU to work on accepting and healing.

 

You cannnot bring him back... he has ended the relationship.

How about you do some research on Depression? One can really feel 'low' and lost about themselves and can/will back away if they feel they can't 'give' anymore.

[MissCanuck]

How old are you both, OP?

 

The sad reality is that we can't get someone back if they don't want to come back. He might really be experiencing something difficult, but his inability to communicate what that was is a clear indication he's not ready for a relationship right now. Healthy, stable relationships require consistently clear communication. He can't give you that at this time, for whatever reason.

 

If he truly suffers from depression, it's also true that he might push away the people closest to him so they don't see him at his most vulnerable. This could explain why he seems fine around friends, but avoids you. He probably doesn't have the same level of emotional connection with a guy friend that he would with a girlfriend, so it's easier to put on a happy face around them. With you, he knows he is expected to consistently be more open and honest about his feelings, and he doesn't feel he can do that right now.

 

Continue No Contact. I know, it hurts like hell. I feel for you. But it will make it easier for you to heal.