My Best Guy Friend Confuses me

[AmorousSnow]

Backstory: So I've had this friend for almost 4 years now (Since Freshman year of high school and im now a senior). We got pretty close around sophmore year notely by the incident we had when we both got very drunk. We basically said we were dating so that it would be "more" acceptable that we could make out (i had a crush on him for about a month during that time but never confessed) we both agreed that we werent going to date the morning after because my friend confessed to him that morning and i didnt want to hurt her. (He also said that he was so far drunk that "everything looked better than it was" type of thing so i took the hint and got over my crush. Which eventually contradicts what he would say senior year that *that type of mindset* doesnt happen when hes drunk, but i digress )

I eventually got over the crush and he started dating this girl a year later (during junior year)

It hadnt been going too smoothly with their situation but they stuck through and love eachother.

Actual in need of advice: These events happen throughout my senior year (halfway over now)

1. So on a lot of occasions, we hang out almost dayly mainly because of school, one time we were talking in his car about his girlfriend about how unreasonable she was being (she's this type but a very nice girl and things have been getting better between them) he tells me that he wonders what it would be like if he had dated me and how much easier it would have been (i assume this is just because of the imediate stress) but all i could do was laugh and change the subject.

But this continued to happened on a multitude of occasions.

2. He admitted to me one day that he use to like me as well (i was pretty obvious that i liked him in sophmore year for the span of time) but felt that he wasnt a good first boyfriend because he takes them seriously and most people should date around first as he said

3. We were talking another day randomly about sex and relationships (weve talked about past experiences and such before) and i said something about being a virgin and he made the comment "Well, if we dated, you wouldnt be" and i was super shocked but i just laughed it off

 

No matter how many times he says he will probably leave her, he doesnt quit so easily and i honestly want them to have a good relationship because i seem to be the only one rooting for them.

Am i thinking too deep? I just want to know why he would say stuff like that to a friend when he has a girlfriend ¯\_(ツ _/¯

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it sounds like he's playing you and his gf. He figures why not try to get in your pants again by complaining about his gf to you.

[gebaird]

It sounds like he's testing the waters with you, perhaps wondering if you would be a good backup plan if things don't work out with his current girlfriend. When he makes comments like that, I'd quickly refocus the conversation. If he really wanted to be with you, he wouldn't be with your friend. Saying he's going to break up with her and actually doing it are two different things. Some people get stuck in "on again/off again" cycles for years.

 

Do your best to keep things platonic with him. You don't want the kind of complications in your life that starting a relationship with him (and hurting your friend) would bring, and you don't want to be anyone's backup plan.

[AmorousSnow]

It sounds like he's testing the waters with you, perhaps wondering if you would be a good backup plan if things don't work out with his current girlfriend. When he makes comments like that, I'd quickly refocus the conversation. If he really wanted to be with you, he wouldn't be with your friend. Saying he's going to break up with her and actually doing it are two different things. Some people get stuck in "on again/off again" cycles for years.

 

Do your best to keep things platonic with him. You don't want the kind of complications in your life that starting a relationship with him (and hurting your friend) would bring, and you don't want to be anyone's backup plan.

I dont know how i didnt consider your opinion before but now that youve given me this view, i believe youre 100% correct. I appreciate your input

Thank you for helping me out!

[AmorousSnow]

Unfortunately it sounds like he's playing you and his gf. He figures why not try to get in your pants again by complaining about his gf to you.

Thank you, i appreciate your advice its helped me out