Jump to content

In need of some outsider's advice/help.


Recommended Posts

So I met this girl on a dating app and we hit it off at first. We've been talking since before Thanksgiving break. We've been texting each other pretty much everyday and calling once or twice every few weeks. We told each other at one point that we care very much about one another and that we won't lose interest in the other. I am 17 1/2 and she is 20. I will be turning 18 in a few months. She wants to wait till i'm 18 to meet each other in person and if there is a spark between us when we meet then we can officially start dating. Recently she told me that she has been dating around and is at a point in her life where she is seeing some changes in herself. I am also going through some pretty big changes too, a divorce in the family. She told me that she still cares a lot about me and that she still wants to wait to date me till i'm 18, but i'm not so sure if she really does since she told me that she has been dating around during the time that we've been talking and flirting. My best friend/sister's advice was that she thinks that this girl is experimenting in other relationships and her advice makes me feel insecure about this relationship. This girl is still sending me kissing emojis after telling me that she has been dating around, and that she still wants to keep in touch with me, and that she still wants to meet me in person. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think this girl still really wants to be with me? Should I stay with her even though she admitted to dating around?

Link to comment

Did the two of you agree to be exclusive? If not, she's within her rights to date around. If you can't handle that, you may want to let her go. Otherwise, keep in contact with her and be open to the possibility that something could develop between you in the future.

Link to comment
At one point we did agree to being exclusive, but then she backed out saying that she didn't want to get in trouble for dating a minor.


Nice excuse, but true or not the real key to pay attention to is she has said she wants to wait with you either way, AND that she has been dating around (and "seeing changes in herself").


There's literally nothing else to read into as it's spelled out for you. And what I've read is that you two are "not" exclusive, nor "dating", nor together, nor in any relationship other than perhaps some initial "courtship"/acquaintance.. So with that I'd second gebaird's recommendations. And if you can't handle the truth, seriously consider moving on.

Link to comment

At this point you don't know if "she" is a scammer, catfish, convict, etc. or who "she" says she is. It would be best to stop communicating and block "her".


Since you are under 18 tell your parents about this, so they can help you.


Date local girls at school your own age who you can meet in person.

I am 17 1/2 and she is 20. I will be turning 18 in a few months. She wants to wait till i'm 18 to meet each other in person
Link to comment

There are great things in your future buddy. Dont let this discourage you. You haven't even met her yet! You will have PLENTY of time to meet someone amazing.


Also, at your age you don't want to date a girl that is close to 21. She is going to want to go out with friends to places you won't be able to get into.

Link to comment

Okay you are not even in a relationship with her so there is nothing to "stay with" right now.


You are not exclusive, don't physically see each other and you are a minor and she is 20. Pretty hard to see this going anywhere...


Women/girls mature way faster than men/boys so she is already more mature than you by age and emotionally leaving you behind in that department.


I would say she likes the attention and even likes you for as much as she really knows about you but once you actually meet that could change. Stop acting like you are in some electronic relationship and live your life. After your birthday send her a message and see what happens.


Remember she may not even be who she says she is. Don't send her money, don't waste to much time on her and if possible meet for coffee right away. Nothing romantic just a first meet to see her in real life. That way you don't waste time on someone that may not be who they say they are.



Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...