What do you think all this means?

[macimace]

Okay so I met this guy online 3 weeks ago and the next day we hooked up. Well I wasnt expecting to hear from him again and was shocked when he texted me as soon as he left. Well that week he came over 3 times. The week after, I got my period so I did not see him. Then last week, he only came over 1 day at the beginning of the week. The first 2 weeks, I felt nothing emotionally. He was just some guy but last week after he came, I start to notice that I actually liked him a little. And as each day passed, I liked him more and more even though I have not seen or spoken to him since. Before, he would text me every few days or so but I texted him yesterday and asked if he was okay and got nothing back. Later last night, I saw that he had viewed my profile and I was a little upset. From him I get mixed signals as if he likes me or not. One thing is that he drove and hour to me and an hour back home everytime he came to see me and when he was leaving, I would walk him out and we would talk about any and everything until sleep took over. I decided today that if he were to ever text me back, I would tell him how I felt and leave it at that. I do not know if age plays a part or not but I am 18 and he is 29.

[Wiseman2]

Did you both just want casual hookups? Are you worried you caught feelings?

[limichelle]

Hi,

 

It's not good to be getting mixed signals this early on. Usually you should know if you are on the same page. You could always ask him what's up? I just know from my personal experience whenever there was a guy that was fickle it never worked out.

 

Lisa

[macimace]

In the beginning

[macimace]

I was planning

[macimace]

Did you both just want casual hookups? Are you worried you caught feelings?

 

In the beginning that is what I wanted. I am actually not sure what he wanted, but he did not say otherwise. And yeah, I am a little worried that I caught feelings so early.

[macimace]

Hi,

 

It's not good to be getting mixed signals this early on. Usually you should know if you are on the same page. You could always ask him what's up? I just know from my personal experience whenever there was a guy that was fickle it never worked out.

 

Lisa

 

I was planning on telling him how I felt and that I probably should not continue seeing him, but he never replied to me and I do not want to seem desperate or nag him either.

[catcountry]

So you met a guy online. F*cked him immediately and probable for the next 3 visits and then you were on the rag and heard nothing from him. Rag done and one more visit. Yeah.... you were a play toy. Please correct me if I'm wrong but..... I'm blunt and I'm sorry if you don't like it but it is what it is even if you can't see it. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

[macimace]

So you met a guy online. F*cked him immediately and probable for the next 3 visits and then you were on the rag and heard nothing from him. Rag done and one more visit. Yeah.... you were a play toy. Please correct me if I'm wrong but..... I'm blunt and I'm sorry if you don't like it but it is what it is even if you can't see it. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

 

Well you are probably right. I just wanted to know different opinions because from him I got mixed signals in the things he would say. I like you bluntness, it is what we all need to heat.

[HeartGoesOn]

It sounds like he moved on to the next opportunity.

[melancholy123]

I agree with cat country, you were convenient for him to f*ck and now he's moved on. You need to have some self respect and not be so fast to jump into bed with someone is pretty much a stranger to you. He could be married or have a girlfriend, you dont know these things. Be glad this appears to be over. Find someone your own age. A man of 29 isn't interested in a girl of 18 other than to f*ck her.

[ParisPaulette]

Mixed signals always means they like you enough to play up flattery and attention when they want something and then when they don't, or are getting it elsewhere, they go cold on you. Until the next time they need you. Although with this guy I'm going to be honest and tell you I do not see mixed signals from him really at all.

 

I see a guy who was presented an opportunity to have some fun with a pretty girl, who seemed equally and only to want that as well. He came around and made an effort long enough to have a few good times, was probably delighted not to have someone putting demands on him or making him have to date them in order to get what he wanted, and now he's done. Because he doesn't want anything serious with you and never did, but that whole sleeping with you right off the bat should have told you that. And now he's on to the next female or his friend's bachelor party or school or work or whatever, because what he had with you wasn't ever serious to begin with.

 

He will likely be back if he finds himself between other women or whatever or just wants a happy time in bed. But instead of taking him to task for something he really isn't guilty of your best bet is a simple response back of, "We're looking for different things, have a good one, bye." And then you block and delete him and move on having learned the lesson that you aren't the type to do casual hookups.

 

And there's nothing wrong with that. Many people are simply not built to have sex without feelings getting in the way sooner or later. So just take it as a lesson learned. I really don't get this guy was out to play you or anything like that. I think he'd thought you were as on board as he was that this all had an expiration date on it. There's no need to tell him off, because he never really promised you anything beyond a booty call.

 

BTW there was actually very little effort on his part. He didn't have to dress up and take you out someplace nice on a date and make an effort to do that often enough that he might get lucky. Or drive an hour in a snowstorm to simply sit at a family dinner to win brownie points from you. He got lucky off the bat, so it makes sense he'd be willing to make an hour drive knowing that was pretty much all the work he had to do. Sure he talked to you, because being rude and sullen would have meant no goodies. So in that regard you need to up your standards, because he did bare minimum of simply being there to get laid. Sorry to be blunt, but he was actually being pretty lazy about the whole thing. There wasn't a lot of effort there at all.

 

P.S. I'm not ragging on you, but you need to up your standards with what it will take for someone to be worth your time is all.

[t1lersm0m1]

Honestly, horny men will drive pretty far for sex so driving an hour is nothing. Also the chit chat after was just him being polite. If he was interested in more he'd be taking you out on the town and calling you on the phone. Sorry to say you were sex and nothing more.

[HeartGoesOn]

^

Long time, t1.

[SooSad33]

In the beginning that is what I wanted. I am actually not sure what he wanted, but he did not say otherwise. And yeah, I am a little worried that I caught feelings so early.

 

-Try not to.. but it's most often the woman to get feelings before the man... Especially if it's just for casual sex!

 

Be cautious out there! Many are just users.. with no intent.

Make them wait a bit before sleeping with them.. then you'd see who they are/what they want.

[katrina1980]

 

....he would text me every few days or so but I texted him yesterday and asked if he was okay and got nothing back. Later last night, I saw that he had viewed my profile and I was a little upset.

 

From him I get mixed signals as if he likes me or not. One thing is that he drove and hour to me and an hour back home every time he came to see me and when he was leaving, I would walk him out and we would talk about any and everything until sleep took over. I decided today that if he were to ever text me back, I would tell him how I felt and leave it at that. I do not know if age plays a part or not but I am 18 and he is 29.

 

This is the part of your post that stood out to me.

 

Re the bolded/underlined, HE may be thinking the same thing about you.

 

You've sent him quite a few mixed messages too.

 

First you only want casual sex and don't feel anything emotionally (which I am sure he picked up on), then suddenly, now, you want more. DOES he know this? I doubt it.

 

He drives an hour each way to see you every time.

 

He is the one always texting you.

 

So you decide to text him and expect him to jump?

 

Why, if/when he texts you back, would you tell him you don't want to see him again?

 

You obviously really like the guy, and his actions certainly indicate he must have liked you too.

 

Maybe he senses YOU are not all that enthusiastic about him?

 

It works both ways you know.

 

Why not send him another text and suggest an actual DATE? Instead of a hook up?

 

Can't hurt IMO.

 

Sounds like maybe you both got your signals crossed, that is not uncommon it happens a lot.

 

Just a thought.

[reinventmyself]

The fact that neither one of you seemed interested and spending any time with each other while you were on your period is telling on both parts.

 

It's no surprise that you can't expect more from either one of you if didn't even consider spending time together being vertical.

[DonnaSophia]

I was planning on telling him how I felt and that I probably should not continue seeing him, but he never replied to me and I do not want to seem desperate or nag him either.

 

The way it appears, you both just wanted to hook up with a stranger. He made an effort to have an enjoyable time while hooking and you mistook it as something deeper. You broke that unwritten agreement and probably scared him off. Chances are he has moved on to the next easy lay. If a man is interested he will move mountains to be with the woman. He is just not into you. Unless he is unconscious somewhere, he is more than likely avoiding you. You risk looking desperate if you persue this guy.

[katrina1980]

 

If a man is interested he will move mountains to be with the woman.

 

Not if he believes SHE isn't interested. Unless he's an idiot.

[SoulTaker]

From him I get mixed signals as if he likes me or not. One thing is that he drove and hour to me and an hour back home everytime he came to see me and when he was leaving, I would walk him out and we would talk about any and everything until sleep took over.

 

As others have noted, this is a casual hookup that you wanted. With this type of arrangement, there are no mixed signals, since you're not actually dating. Both of you can come and go as you please. At this point, you're trying to flip the script and he's fine with the original plan (in which there is no plan).

[Sportster2005]

Okay so I met this guy online 3 weeks ago and the next day we hooked up. Well I wasnt expecting to hear from him again and was shocked when he texted me as soon as he left. Well that week he came over 3 times. The week after, I got my period so I did not see him. Then last week, he only came over 1 day at the beginning of the week. The first 2 weeks, I felt nothing emotionally. He was just some guy but last week after he came, I start to notice that I actually liked him a little. And as each day passed, I liked him more and more even though I have not seen or spoken to him since. Before, he would text me every few days or so but I texted him yesterday and asked if he was okay and got nothing back. Later last night, I saw that he had viewed my profile and I was a little upset. From him I get mixed signals as if he likes me or not. One thing is that he drove and hour to me and an hour back home everytime he came to see me and when he was leaving, I would walk him out and we would talk about any and everything until sleep took over. I decided today that if he were to ever text me back, I would tell him how I felt and leave it at that. I do not know if age plays a part or not but I am 18 and he is 29.

 

If you were both older the age wouldn't be much of a difference. As it is now, I think he is taking advantage of someone who isn't very experience. Men will travel great distances for sex. Especially young men who are still boys no a lot of levels. Mixed signals are never good, and they never turn out good. I wouldn't tell him how you feel. I would end the casual hookups and look for someone who will take you serious, assuming that's what you want.