I really like him but am very confused

[Mira223]

So I'm dating this guy whom I had a crush on and he asked me out. We went on three dates (kinda short ones because of my college/his work schedules). I enjoy his company so freakin much and we go into endless conversation each time. We argue about life and I learn so much from him, he is very intelligent, like heartbreakingly intelligent and charismatic and it's always a pleasure to hang out with him.

 

However, i'm a bit concerned about something, he is too much focused on his work (which is amazing and I respect him for that), but it's like way too much !! I mean he doesn't like to hang out much or travel or workout or jog or do any of the activities I'm very fond of. I'm a bit of a dreamy girl with so much energy and so much willingness to enjoy life to the max.

 

Now am not saying he should quit his job and have fun with me. Of course not. Am just concerned about whether we will be able to have fun every now and then. I really want him to come jogging with me and I'm so into travelling and exploring, not that I want ua to do this now but I want a partner who share these interests with me.

 

Am I acting way too unrealistic? I understand no one is perfect and that I can't get everything I want. But now am stuck between whether I should sacrifice this trait or that one. He is great and I know for sure am not perfect neither. Just worried that maybe things will get boring at some point for someone who is very into life like me and would really enjoy the company of my spouse while sweating during a long run or playing a musical instrument or travelling here and there around the world. He doesn't seem to be interested in these things at all.

[gebaird]

Make a list of qualities you are looking for in a partner and prioritize it, then see how he matches up. If you are looking for 10 things and he only has 5 of them, are you willing to live with that? How does he measure up when compared to others you have dated?

 

Some of the best partnerships consist of two people who are very different from each other. You could teach him about adventure, and he could teach you about consistency.

[greatunknowns]

gebaird is totally onto something with a qualities list. What do you typically look for in a partner? How important are similar lifestyles for you in a relationship?

 

I think if you two are really attracted to each other and the relationship is still relatively news, you should at least take the time to explore it. I'm not saying you should immediately throw yourself into something very serious, but it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, so I wouldn't see any harm in exploring the relationship. Maybe you can suggest some more adventurous, higher energy activities for a date and get him out of his work shell a bit?

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he's fun to hang out with, but since you aren't really dating and he doesn't have as much time on his hands as you do, the massive incompatibility really doesn't matter. You'll find college boys to date who are into what you are into.

We went on three dates. he doesn't like to hang out much or travel or workout or jog or do any of the activities I'm very fond of. I'm a bit of a dreamy girl.