Got lost and found here..

[Keepingmeup]

Hi there, was googling my issues and it brought me here, after reading a few posts im realising that deep down I know how it is or would I be posting?

 

Ive been seeing a man for about a year now, hes a fair bit older and it began based on sex, amazing sex that we couldnt get enough off and things developed. For the most part its been great but today I feel its a lost cause.. To explain, I dont feel important, like I matter in any way. I see him once a week & stay over, as we work and have kids for previous relationships and i dont want to mix the two until I feel its real. The dramas are there tho, i always feel compared to the wife, who would never have got away with what I do, because if I say how I feel and react to how cold he is, im being crazy, im wrong. And its the line of, the wife didnt get away with that. On social media he appears single and all posts are rife with woman his age full of compliments, again, this upsets me and im the crazy one. I do trust him but i feel something is so off. He used to make me feel so special and now I feel an after thought, everything he says thats sweet is taken away with a cheeky after comment. Which hurts its like I miss you, a wee bit. Am I over sensitive? Am I crazy?

[gebaird]

There are multiple levels of communication: words, body language, and tone. They are all expressions of internal feelings. You may not be able to logically explain to yourself or anyone else what is wrong with this relationship, but you know that something is. Likely you are subconsciously picking up on those more subtle forms of communication from your partner.

 

Trust your feelings. Speak your truth. Your needs aren't being met. This relationship may have been wonderful in the past, but it isn't now. Fix it, if you can. Otherwise end it.

[Capricorn3]

i always feel compared to the wife, who would never have got away with what I do, because if I say how I feel and react to how cold he is, im being crazy, im wrong. And its the line of, the wife didnt get away with that.

Is he still currently married to her? Or is this an EX wife?

[SherrySher]

It doesn't sound as though he's taking you seriously, but after all, you did begin as his sex buddy and it wasn't about romance.

Now you want it to be all romantic and serious and he is treating you less than, I really don't know if that's fixable.

And take note, if he invalidates your feelings by calling you crazy, that is disrespect right there and is bordering on gas lighting, that's bs.

Lastly, how do you know you're the only one he is "seeing"?

[catfeeder]

Someone who treats you as nothing more than a sex partner isn't likely to start treating you as anything more than that, no matter how long you stick around wishing otherwise.