A date with a disrespectful twist

[kathy679]

So I've been on a few dates with this bloke, and he invited me up to his friends today. So I travelled 20 miles to see him and as I turned up he said I've gotta go out with my mate quickly I'll be back soon. I'll meet you around Sarah's house if that's OK. So I agreed and went to Sarah's. However Sarah wasn't really up for visitors but she was polite and we had a nice catch up as she's a good friend of mine.

 

Then 2 hours later I got a text saying sorry I gotta go out again with another mate I'll see you in a while. I was very polite around Sarah and I didn't let on I was feeling disrespected but after a while I left and went home as I didn't want to over stay there.

When I got home I sent him a message politely dumping him. Which I feel is the right thing to do. I felt if he wanted to go out he shouldn't of invited me, I could of done much more tonight than wait around for him. No offense to Sarah it was lovely to see her, and we had a good laugh...but that's not the point is it!

Plus it was a waste of my petrol when I haven't got a lot of that at the moment.

 

Just wondered what other people would do in this situation?

[agent1607307371]

I probably wouldn't have waited 2 hours, but I think you handled it as it needed to be handled. Very disrespectful of your time, your money, and also your friend.

[Jibralta]

I probably wouldn't have waited 2 hours, but I think you handled it as it needed to be handled. Very disrespectful of your time, your money, and also your friend.

 

That really says it all for me.

[IAmFCA]

Left.

 

Dumped him by text.

 

Blocked.

 

Jerk!

[Chocolate25]

I believe you did the right thing. I would've left and decide not to contact him anymore. He sounds like a jerk.

[kathy679]

Thanks for your thoughts guys. Glad you think the same as me.

I had to be polite for Sarah really, I didn't want to project my issues onto her. She's a good friend so she doesn't need it.

Oh yes he's dumped alright, for me these days it's one strike and your out. If your not going to respect me then I will always respect myself.

Yes total waste of my time, money and not fair on my friend either. What an Utter jerk!

[abitbroken]

Wow.

 

I can see "my mate just called - he has a flat tire. I am so sorry, but I need to rescue him. I'll be back soon."

or "We ran out of pizza. I am going up to the corner to get some and ill be right back"

But that's just waaaayy over the line.

 

You did yourself a favor.

[abitbroken]

Thanks for your thoughts guys. Glad you think the same as me.

I had to be polite for Sarah really, I didn't want to project my issues onto her. She's a good friend so she doesn't need it.

Oh yes he's dumped alright, for me these days it's one strike and your out. If your not going to respect me then I will always respect myself.

Yes total waste of my time, money and not fair on my friend either. What an Utter jerk!

 

Its not projecting an issue to say "Sarah, I know you weren't expecting me, but this is what happened..." It would be projecting if you got snippy or rude to her. If Sarah didn't know why you came over out of the blue, I'd tell her just so she knows you weren't really meaning to just drop by and inconvenience her

[melancholy123]

I'd have left after two hours and dumped him

[kathy679]

Melancholy i thought since I drove all that way it would be nice to spend a bit of time with Sarah. She wasn't really up for company but as we are very close we both had a little talk and cheered each other up. So it wasn't all a waste of time.

 

Abitbroken I did explain to Sarah what had occurred but I left out how annoyed about it I was. I didn't let on to her I was bothered because I didn't want to just turn up and vent. And why should I destroy my quality time with her for that jerk!

[ParisPaulette]

I would have dumped him by text, then blocked and deleted. I am a huge good manners person. And it is extremely poor to downright absolutely rude as hello to make someone drive all that way, then go off and leave them not once but twice in one day then just never show. And give a vague "excuse" that really isn't. An "emergency with a friend" is not an excuse. It's a "Please, I don't want you to know what I'm really doing, so I'm hoping you're dumb enough to just go okay and not look any closer at what's really going on."

 

If it's that huge of an emergency, you explain to the person what's going on and then take them with you or apologize profusely and send them home.

 

Totally inexcusable. I really hope you do not give this guy a pass and go back out with him, I can't imagine any "emergency" so mysterious that one would have to leave you alone for two friends with no explanation. Not anything that's good or you'd want to be a part of anyways.

[kathy679]

Thanks Paris pallette I agree with you. There was no explanation at all. And I don't think it was really all that important tbh. Just him being a jerk and putting his mates first. Really I'm quite annoyed with his whole behaviour and now I feel received that I found out sooner rather than later what a user he is. Saves me wasting any more time!

[Ms Darcy]

I agree that you did the right thing for sure.

[Wiseman2]

Standing you up more or less after you drove there is definitely a deal-breaker.

[ParisPaulette]

BTW, good on you for standing up for yourself! And using the time to reconnect with a friend without putting any drama on her.

[kathy679]

It's a deal breaker for sure. Thank you guys for your input was nice to hear your views and you all think I'm respecting myself when other people don't

[Sportster2005]

I would do the same. I probably wouldn't have waited that long though.