The Best Thing for Us Right Now

[SkyWolf73]

Okay, I've thought about it and i think the best thing for us right now is to break up.

 

Last night he got super upset and angry and cut himself again, and i blame myself. I cried for about an hour in bed because i was worried and scared for him. This morning he apologised and he could tell i was mad and upset but i didn't tell him why. He said "think about us and maybe that'll make you happier" but that wasn't the case. It was us that was destroying me. During the next 7 hours the only thing that kept me from not breaking down was my friends who distracted me from this.

 

He has told me several times to dump him because he is a distraction or he thinks i don't really love him or he is worthless but he is just being insecure. It has gotten to the point where i think this is whats best.

 

I have came to the conclusion that the best thing for both of us is to break up. He thinks i can do no wrong, he hates himself and puts pressure and relays on me way to much than he should. I don't blame him for doing this, he is unknown and is just scared. I still want to be his friend and support him in any way possible without him putting pressure on me all the time. I don't think i will want to get back together or at least till we are both mentally stable.

 

The thing is i have no idea how to tell him this without making him harm himself but i need to do it soon. As much as i want to be with him right now i cant, it isn't healthy.

 

If you could tell me your thoughts that would help so much.

[Wiseman2]

Please tell your parents about this guy. He's manipulating you by threatening things if you don't want "a relationship".

 

Sorry you got sucked into this. You have never met, right? It would be best to stop this, end it, go no contact and block him he's an unhealthy controlling guy.

[DancingFool]

What he does to himself is what he wants to do to himself and he will do it with you or without you. You can't control another person and what choices and decisions they make. Please please understand that.

 

You are correct that you need to get out of this. So tell him that he is right, it's not working and you are done. DO NOT be friends and continue to stay in his life. That's actually cruel and will stop him from doing what he needs to do to take care of himself, fix himself and otherwise move on. Send him the break up message, then delete and block all communication immediately. Do not stick around for him to reel you back in with false promises.

[Bee4Shine]

He does sound very unhealthy. Has he sought professional help for his mental issues? Cutting is not something that is easily overcome alone, but it can be overcome. I do agree that you are suffering. His reactions are not your fault. Please do not blame yourself for his bad choices. Separation is often a really good choice because it let's the other person know that you are serious and you are putting up boundaries. Are you married? If so seek marriage counseling or individual counseling to help you work through this. If you are not married, than I would suggest you question as to whether this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Is he capable of getting healthy and staying that way? You do have a lot of things to consider. Please be safe, and take care of yourself. Do not make life long choices in the midst of crisis, step aside so you can think clearly.

[SooSad33]

Very sad.... his suffering.. which is affecting you- big time!

 

Sadly, I doubt he will get much better and become 'mentally stable'. But, meanwhile, you are going down

 

Someone like this.. is Toxic! They are so negative and drive those close to them down mentally & emotionally as well.

 

What he needs ( and you as well).. is some prof help ( therapy) and he could also benefit from seeing a Dr to get some anti depressants and mood stablelizers.

 

WHATEVER he may do.. as you decide to walk... in order to take care of yourself, you can NOT prevent his reactions...

( he has already self harmed). he probably will, again.

 

You are heading in the right direction. Someone like this is draining you and you'll be so low too... damaged. You 'can't do this'.. anymore.