6 days after break up still struggling

[Danb24719]

Hi guys

 

My gf broke up with me 6 days ago. we were together 3 years and the first year and a half we lived in the same town and then she moved to university. We made it through year 1 without any problems but since she went back in September it's been hard and she came back and dumped me.

 

We've been completely no contact for 5 days. I did send her a message the day after her breaking up with me but she told me not to message her as it's upsetting.

 

I'm not going to message her or anything but I just can't seem to get her out of my head. I'm not majorly sad anymore but it's still playing on my mind.

 

Can anyone give me any advice on what to do? How long does it take before it starts to feel better? The worst part is I know it's over for good but my head isn't right at the moment and I keep half expecting it to be her whenever my phone goes off.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this, but yeah it hurts so just stay no contact. Block her form your phone and social media if that helps.

My gf broke up with me 6 days ago.she moved to university. I did send her a message the day after her breaking up with me but she told me not to message her as it's upsetting.

[sj44]

This is really normal, it would be more concerning if you was to break up with her after three years and never think of her again lol. Its natural and actually really good that you feel this way, your bound to miss contact from someone who was in your life so long. The best thing to do is to accept the situation for what it is and actually allow yourself to feel upset. Talk to your friends about it, or family. Older people always have great advice when it comes to breakups. Also, do things that make you feel good but are also sociable, whether you like going to bars with friends, or going to the gym or even just going for a walk. Listening to upbeat music when you feel too sad is a great way to feel better. Hope this helps

[abitbroken]

I agree - you are normal! The best thing you can do for yourself is to not look at her stuff on social media - unfollow her and do not call her. There is nothing pleasant about breaking up. The only thing that will make you feel better is time. There is no magic potion. But, I will say that it might be a good idea to make a commitment to yourself not to date right now. I know you are not thinking of that right now, but resist all temptation out of loneliness, etc. Give yourself at least six months and if you are still wanting her back - go for another six to not subject a young lady to a situation where you are not over your ex.

[Danb24719]

Yeah I'm not interested in dating, but I have been wondering if dating would help me move on??

[MissCanuck]

Yeah I'm not interested in dating, but I have been wondering if dating would help me move on??

 

No, it really wouldn't and here's why:

 

1) You'll be comparing every girl to your ex, leading you to miss her and feel even worse. The same would likely be true for casual hookups for a little while yet.

2) It's not fair to the girl(s) you would date, because you are nowhere near ready to enter a new relationship.

 

In the grand scheme of things, 6 days is nothing. You will need much longer than that, so please be kind and patient with yourself. It's going to hurt for while. But it slowly gets easier as you adjust to your new life without her. You'll develop new habits and create new memories. That is when real moving on begins. You need time to get comfortable with the transition. Sometimes it takes a few months, sometimes more - depending on the length and investment in the relationship.

 

It's a process, but you're doing the right thing by not contacting her. It's very hard at the beginning but it does get better.