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Me and this guy were hanging out tonight and he left out of nowhere?


amanduhhpanda

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I've been talking to him for the whole quarter. We met at University

We see each other regularly (3-4x/week)

We live in the same dorms (He is just one building over)

 

I actually don't know what our status is to be honest. All I know is we enjoy each other's company and we have been hooking up but he never made it clear to me if this is a fwb thing or if its potentially leading to something...

 

Today, we were just hanging out in his living room and having fun, laughing, talking

I got out for a bit and talked to his housemates(they are my friends too) and one of them asked about my ex. My mistake, I know I shouldnt have answered but kind of went in full detail of me bashing him.. I guess he heard and as soon as I finished talking to his housemate and bashing my ex, he started acting cold and distant. A sudden change in his mood and he said "Im leaving and going to my friend's house"...I was a bit shocked because I knew there was a weird vibe going on.

so I tried to play it cool and say "oh, let me know when you want me to leave".. and he responded with "i dont care, Michael (his housemate) is here, so you guys can hang out"...

 

I let him leave and did not ask what was wrong

he came back 45 minutes later, I was just in the living room and watching tv with his housemates. He did not make eye contact and did not acknowledge me and went straight to his room. I could feel the tension so I left 15-20 minutes later.

 

Even his housemates thought that it was strange that he left in the middle of us hanging out all of the sudden..

I have a feeling that it was because I was talking about my ex even though it was in a negative light.

I doubt he went to his friend's house.. he came back 45 mins later and his friend's house is at least a 30 min commute.

 

I didnt ask what was wrong or anything because I felt its best to give him space

 

What is your take on this?

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and one of them asked about my ex. My mistake, I know I shouldnt have answered but kind of went in full detail of me bashing him..

 

What is your take on this?

Maybe he wasn't too impressed with your description of bashing your ex. Sounds like his impression of you dropped extensively.

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I agree with Capricorn. I can actually feel where the guy's coming from. It'd be a turnoff for me to hear a woman I was interested in going off about anyone, ex or otherwise. Not a fan of bitterness. Plus, depending on how extensive you got, it can be a pretty good indicator of excess baggage.

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It sounds more like casual hanging out/hooking up. Maybe confiding in his housemate about your ex was kinda rude if you were there to hang out with him?

All I know is we enjoy each other's company and we have been hooking up but he never made it clear to me if this is a fwb thing or if its potentially leading to something..."i dont care, Michael (his housemate) is here, so you guys can hang out"...

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Either he was totally turned off by how you were talking about your ex and it occurred to him that you will bash him the same way, or he had a bout of jealousy and thought you are being too chummy with his roommates, so had himself a little tantrum about it (just because of the way he threw it at you that you can just go ahead and keep hanging out with Michael)

 

Either way, give him some space to cool off and then you will need to address what it was all about if you want to know what was really up his behind.

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Either he was totally turned off by how you were talking about your ex and it occurred to him that you will bash him the same way, or he had a bout of jealousy and thought you are being too chummy with his roommates, so had himself a little tantrum about it (just because of the way he threw it at you that you can just go ahead and keep hanging out with Michael)

 

Either way, give him some space to cool off and then you will need to address what it was all about if you want to know what was really up his behind.

 

I'm inclined to agree with this. Its disrespectful. Don't bring up an ex or start talking about them if he takes you somewhere that your ex used to, does something that your ex used to, etc. Would you want him to do this in front of you?

 

I dated a girl for a while that was a runway model and used to talk about her rich ex-boyfriends which I knew I wouldn't be able to compete with financially. She did a few times and one time we were driving through a part of Buckhead where one of them lived when she dated him. She literally wanted to drive past his house to "see what it looked like these days".

 

Even though I was falling in love with her, I turned the car around and drove her back to her place (in silence) and dropped her off. I told her to get out of the car and told her, "If you want to go see his house, then call him up and go over and he can give you a f@#$%^% tour." I literally revved up the motor to about 5K, dumped the clutch and laid rubber out of her place.

 

She called me (which I didn't answer) and left an angry message, especially since we were on our way to dinner. I had a wonderful meal that night.

 

A few days later, we got back together. She literally had no concept of what she had been doing and how much it was pissing me off. I forgave her but from that point the relationship was doomed for failure.

 

A year later, she married a rich doctor, had a baby and I'm completely happy for her.

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I'm inclined to agree with this. Its disrespectful. Don't bring up an ex or start talking about them if he takes you somewhere that your ex used to, does something that your ex used to, etc. Would you want him to do this in front of you?

 

I dated a girl for a while that was a runway model and used to talk about her rich ex-boyfriends which I knew I wouldn't be able to compete with financially. She did a few times and one time we were driving through a part of Buckhead where one of them lived when she dated him. She literally wanted to drive past his house to "see what it looked like these days".

 

Even though I was falling in love with her, I turned the car around and drove her back to her place (in silence) and dropped her off. I told her to get out of the car and told her, "If you want to go see his house, then call him up and go over and he can give you a f@#$%^% tour." I literally revved up the motor to about 5K, dumped the clutch and laid rubber out of her place.

 

She called me (which I didn't answer) and left an angry message, especially since we were on our way to dinner. I had a wonderful meal that night.

 

A few days later, we got back together. She literally had no concept of what she had been doing and how much it was pissing me off. I forgave her but from that point the relationship was doomed for failure.

 

A year later, she married a rich doctor, had a baby and I'm completely happy for her.

 

You sound like my kind of man! Except for the revved up motor after you dropped her off (which probably wasn't necessary but whatevs), I respect what you did.

 

I wish more men had your backbone and could be strong like that when women do **** like this.

 

I've done some **** in the past I'm not too proud of and my bf at the time always called me out on it. I had a lot of respect for him for that.

 

I am sorry she still didn't "get it" though and it didn't work out.... but you're cool with everything which is all that matters.

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Maybe i am an old lady - but it seems odd to me that you were there hanging with the housemates vs you were there to see him and when he left - you did the same. You say you 'don't know what this is" with you hooking up and hanging out. I suggest that you decide what it is based on the treatment that you accept for him. If you want to date, you need to steer away from the hanging around and hooking up and make him date you a little - meaning that you are not just one of the buddies. He may not be telling you what this is, but you are not helping by not setting the pace. If he stormed out of there, I am assuming the communication between the two of you isn't stellar.

 

Maybe its a good idea to dial this back and get to know eachother a little better.

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