My brother is the worst to the people that care for him.

[willitfit]

My brother and I have not had a perfect life. We have been very poor and lived in rough neighborhoods. We have always had a GREAT family though. They have always shown us love, and for the most part as much generosity as they can. I am 18 right now and he is 20. We live with and mom and her parents. He has had run ins with the law about drugs, and was a terrible student when he was in school. Since he was about 16 he would argue with our mother about how our mother never did good enough for us, or that she should have done better with us. Now our mom is far from perfect, and her not being with our dad has made things hard for her. She has always been terrible financially, but she showed us love and compassion all the time. Letting us know that she loved us and wanted the best for us. I have come to appreciate that and thought that was good enough, but my brother seems to think its not and that he was owed a better childhood. So he is a disrespectful, ungrateful, 20 year old who dropped out of college because he doesn't like it and is still living at home off of our grandparents. Our grandmother is perfection. Giving as much as she can, and love all the time. She and my grandfather pay all the bills that allow us to live in this home, which thanks to them is much better than the ones that we used to live in. This morning on 11/30/2016 He has had a yelling match with our grandmother. This was about weed which he smokes. We all hate it and our grandparents have asked him time and time again to stop it. He has accommodated by only doing it outside which results in his clothes smelling like weed. Our grandmother for about the 100th time goes and knocks on his door to tell him that she can smell smoke and doesn't want smoke in here. Then he says to her "Don't come knocking on my door again. I'm not smoking, and I don't want to here you complaining about it." Our grandmother comes out and starts talking back about "who do you think you are talking to" and "I've done so much for you"(which she has). Then he comes back full screaming about "I don't care, I'm not smoking" then he says "You make my life so hard complaining about my smoke, The smoke is from my clothes so there is nothing I can do about that." At this point my mother and I come out trying to tell him that he should never yell at her like that, and that "she has done so much for us". Finally my grandmother is crying and trying to exclaim that "she does too much to be treated this way"(which she does). Then he tries to justify his anger because he is "getting annoyed with her always bothering him about it", and that "if were in his place we would act the same." I can assure you that I would never talk to anyone in my family like that except maybe him. So there was a lot of door slamming and yelling. After some time of us trying to talk to him about how he was wrong he ended with "we aren't going to get anywhere" and walked back in his room. I don't know what to do or even if I should do anything we were raised by the same people, but while he was out with his friends smoking, I was inside playing video games by myself. I just needed to vent cause he is the worst. Thank you.

[Di_ya2009]

It's all a matter of perspective and choice. While you choose to be grateful; he blames the everything external for his problems. He seems to be very furstated overall. Hopefully he realizes that he can make changes to improve his life rather than hold on to the misfortunates as a cruth.

[Wiseman2]

It's bizarre your mother and grandparents allow drug use around the house after he's been in legal trouble for it. It sounds like your only hope is to move out since you are 18. Do so before the cops come and arrest you along with your drug condoning mother and grandparents.

 

Can you go to college get in a dorm or work and share a place with some friends? Are there other responsible reasonable family you could stay with? Where's your father?

 

Your mother and grandparents are at fault here since they condone this and enable it by letting him live there when he's 20 and should be working, going to college and living on his own.

I am 18 right now and he is 20. We live with and mom and her parents. He has had run ins with the law about drugs This morning on 11/30/2016 He has had a yelling match with our grandmother. This was about weed which he smokes. He has accommodated by only doing it outside

[willitfit]

I think its less "condone" and more like they just cant stop him. They would never call the cops on him and I don't really like that option either. I do think that maybe he should be forced out at some point though.

 

I'm in my last year of high school then plan to move far away. My father lives near us i see him often but i don't feel unsafe or anything, so i don't think leaving before my time is the best idea.

 

I agree he should be in college, but they are too nice to kick him out. thanks.

[Wiseman2]

Same thing since they CAN stop him by kicking him out but prefer to enable him by letting him live there. You'll only suffer staying in that crazy house. Move in with your father if he's saner and then go to college.

 

Your mother and grandparents ARE THE PROBLEM not your brother, he's just coasting along getting high because THEY LET HIM.

I think its less "condone" and more like they just cant stop him.