Drinker and non-drinker

[lioness30]

Hey all, I drink and my fiance doesn't. I never drink to get drunk, have a drink by myself occasionally but mostly drink in social settings.

My fiance experienced family trauma due to alcohol and is working through it. As a result he doesn't drink and likely never will.

When we started our relationship this didn't bother me at all and decided to stop drinking all together since it made him uncomfortable. Now we're trying to work out a compromise because I can't see myself not drinking for the rest of my life.

Does anyone have advice on how the drinker, non-drinker lifestyle works out? I am definitely committed to him and don't want this to turn into a point of tension.

[Birdie]

Isn't this the same issue as your previous thread?

[melancholy123]

I rarely drink, but do enjoy a beer on a hot day. So maybe I'm not qualified to answer your question. My husband likes a beer on a hot day or after working all day or just to have one with dinner. If he's out of beer it's no big deal. So, for me, I just dont care if he has a beer or two. He never gets tipsy never mind drunk. I dont see it as being an issue unless you make it one.

 

How does your bf feel about you having a drink? If he doesnt mind, then there's not problem.

[Capricorn3]

OP, you already have a thread on the same topic with 100 replies.

 

That said, a drinker/non-drinker relationship can work very easily. I don't drink at all, never have and never will. My husband enjoys a beer socially with friends/family and it's a non-issue. I think it all depends on the quantity of drinking, if it's on a daily basis, or drinking to the extent of getting blind drunk every single time etc - THAT is an issue (imo).

[DancingFool]

You both need to learn how to give each other space and room to be yourself and not try to manage and control each other. It's really that simple.

 

He is entitled to his personal choices, but has no right to impose them on other people. Same applies to you. If you want to have a drink, you are free to do so. You don't need him drinking with you. It would only become a problem if you start drinking to the point where you are coming home wasted and he has to deal with a drunk gf. In that case, he would be right to get upset about it. It's not exactly fun to deal with someone drunk.

 

Again, respect is a two way street. You need to respect his choices, but he also needs to respect yours.