Male opinions on this?

[cheesesandwich]

Hey, need some advice. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little less than a year. I have not, as of yet, been able to make him climax. He is able to do so on his own, so I don't think he has any physical stuff going on. I have asked him about it in a non accusing way ( just asking if I wasn't doing something he liked, needed me to switch things up) and he admitted it has been a life time type thing. He said he has been able to climax with a woman before but infrequently and almost always with one night stands. I think it might be a performance anxiety thing. Anyway, is there anything I can do to make things better for him, aside from keep on trying and continue to be understanding? I just truly care for him and want to make him feel good.

[Wiseman2]

Enjoy your own pleasure and body and what's going on.

 

He's stated that it's just how he's wired so don't ruin the sex by trying fix him or put this under a microscope.

 

A lot of guys get off on the woman getting off so focus more on yourself.

I have not, as of yet, been able to make him climax. he admitted it has been a life time type thing.

[cheesesandwich]

Yeah, I'm not trying to fix anything. I just sort of feel guilty about it at this point. I like to please too, I guess.

[ThatwasThen]

Can he get off with oral or your hand or is he strictly limited to using his own hand at his preferred pace?

[cheesesandwich]

No, he can only get off using his own.

[Reflections11]

maybe he ... takes care of himself.... too often.

[cheesesandwich]

what would be a tactful way of bringing this up?

[ThatwasThen]

No, he can only get off using his own.

 

Yes well that's pretty much due to only being able to please himself using his exact technique. Maybe if he let you watch him, you'd be able to duplicate the pressure/friction/speed/etc? I wouldn't sweat it though, as long as you have good intimacy and he's not complaining just enjoy the ride. Unless he's exhausting you trying to get off to you? If he is then that's a problem in itself.

[cheesesandwich]

I've tried my best to replicate exactly what he does, but I guess it must not be right because that hasn't worked either.

[ThatwasThen]

I've tried my best to replicate exactly what he does, but I guess it must not be right because that hasn't worked either.

Either way, I'm sure he's enjoying what you do, do.

[bunzana]

I agree with reflections... perhaps he is masturbating too often. If you've been dating almost a year you should be able to ask him if this is the case, in some way.

[Limiya]

You might find over time, the more he relaxes with you and gets used to you, it may be enough for him to start climaxing. Sometimes if it's a new relationship, it all might be a bit of anxiety mixed in with that. If he's enjoying it as it is, relax, enjoy but just keep dialogue open. Try new things occasionally and don't pressure yourselves.

Good luck.

 

Limiya

[Wiseman2]

Stop trying to fix him because of your own insecurities.

what would be a tactful way of bringing this up?

[notalady]

I'd be worried how you're ever going to have kids (if this is a serious relationship) if he can't come from sex lol