Is my girlfriend in love with her ex?

[Miserableguy12]

So here goes guys. I'll keep this short.

 

I met this amazing her about two months ago. And we really hit it off. We fell in love really fast, started sleeping together, she even stayed over my place multiple times.

 

Here's the issue. She broke up with her last boyfriend a week or two before dating me. She kissed him literally a few days before our first date, and had sex with him a month before we started dating.

 

She talks about how horrible he was in their relationship. How he didn't appreciate her, was a horrible boyfriend. Etc. They dated for three years, but it was an on and off thing. She claims she fell out of love with him months ago and meeting me made her realize she didn't have feelings for him.

 

Yet. She's still in constant contact with him. And sees him at least two or three days a week. I told her I'm not comfortable with it. And she gets angry. Calling me jealous. Etc. I know that she's been acting indifferent toward him. Even cancelling on him to see me multiple times.

 

But she only started dating me days before completely ending things with him. And they've been together for years. And she just won't stop talking to him. Even though she claims she loves me and he's only a friend. Also. I'm not sure if he's into her. She keeps telling me that he's been dating around and is over her as well. But they pretty much see each other whenever I'm not seeing her.

 

Am I a rebound? Does she really love me? She seems affectionate toward me. But it seems like things moved TOO fast. It's got me feeling super insecure.

 

Also. She blocked him on everything twice due to different reasons. And every time. She ends up unblocking him. Claims that she wants to be friends with him.

 

Thank you.

[Wiseman2]

Your instincts sound spot on. She's just transferring to an insta-relationship with you. They were on/off so maybe this is what she does when they are off again.

 

They both have sex with others within days of breaking up then miss each other blah blah then get back together etc.

 

Lots of red flags so stay guarded.

she only started dating me days before completely ending things with him. Am I a rebound? But it seems like things moved TOO fast. It's got me feeling super insecure

[ParisPaulette]

I've dealt with before. You tell her you do not want to hear one more word about the ex, period. Or you will not see her again and it's over. Do not ask, do not demand, simply inform her you are sick of hearing about him, end of story.

 

Then stick with it.

 

Also, start seeing other women, because you two are not exclusive if she's still contacting him and seeing him. Let her realize she either needs to get with the program and get over him for good OR she needs to go back to him, but remove yourself from the middle 'cause right now you're a third wheel she's using to make him jealous.

 

Have some backbone and refuse to play that game. That means you tell her no more talk about the ex and you will continue to see others until and/or if she really decides she is fully done with him. And if she goes back to him then you have your true answer as to what her motives with you were in the first place. Although honestly I don't see a happy ending with anyone who acts like you describe. "Confiding" in your new love interest about your ex is pretty much a crappy thing to do and most who have any empathy or sense know it. I think it's just now that the honeymoon is over so to speak you're getting to know the real her.

 

Anyways that's what I did when I found myself in that situation twice, and yes both times the guys ended up breaking up with me. Which in the end was actually a good thing, because I don't do other people's drama anyways.

[Roselynn1]

Not sure if it's love, but they're definitely still involved. Proceed with caution.

[FlashEng1]

So here goes guys. I'll keep this short.

 

I met this amazing her about two months ago.

 

She broke up with her last boyfriend a week or two before dating me. She kissed him literally a few days before our first date, and had sex with him a month before we started dating.

 

They dated for three years.

 

She's still in constant contact with him. And sees him at least two or three days a week.

 

I told her I'm not comfortable with it. And she gets angry. Calling me jealous. Etc.

 

she only started dating me days before completely ending things with him.

 

they've been together for years.

 

she just won't stop talking to him.

 

So there are the facts to your story. To answer your question directly, no, she's not in love with you. And anyone who says that shy of a couple of months, should be met with extreme caution and reservation.

 

Coupled with every line quoted above, I'd honestly look more to walking away/moving on than remaining in that situation. Let her work out her issues with her ex, and let her know to contact you when she has all of that out of her system. It should be beyond "jealousy" and more into moving forward in life and starting fresh/new. She either needs to EX him out of her life, or continue for whatever reason to keep him involved, minus you.

[KantSleep]

"She's still in constant contact with him. And sees him at least two or three days a week".

 

Huge red flags here. I wouldn't tolerate this type of coziness. Is is time to set this girl straight. If she loves you, she will end it with this man. If she doesn't, you never had her heart. It's a risk you have to take to protect yourself and not waste your valuable time.

[SooSad33]

Does she love you? Sorry, can't say she does.

 

How could she.. when she is still suffering from a broken relationship?

 

At this time.. she has nothing really to 'give' to you. She needs some down time... on her own to work on accepting & healing from her BU.. if she'd ever stay away from him....

 

For you own health.. back off and leave her be.

[SoulTaker]

She talks about how horrible he was in their relationship. How he didn't appreciate her, was a horrible boyfriend. Etc. They dated for three years, but it was an on and off thing. She claims she fell out of love with him months ago and meeting me made her realize she didn't have feelings for him.

 

Yet. She's still in constant contact with him. And sees him at least two or three days a week. I told her I'm not comfortable with it. And she gets angry. Calling me jealous. Etc. I know that she's been acting indifferent toward him. Even cancelling on him to see me multiple times.

 

Op, why are you dealing with this craziness? You knew what the deal was going into it. It's like you want your cake, and eat it too. You want all the benefits of being a boyfriend, knowing that she hasn't moved on from her "ex". She's not a stable, trusting person, and you know it.

[pinkprincess]

Im sorry but if she loved you she would put you first. why are you even having to ask this question? how often do you get to see her if she sees him 3 times a week? I suggest you find some-one emotionally stable who isn't fresh out of a relationship with a man she is still clearly in love with. No sane person on this earth would put up with this behaviour

 

blunt but honest I'm sorry

[Ms Darcy]

Come on man. Why would you date someone just out of a relationship? Of course she's not in love with you. Her actions don't match her words.

 

I am with Flash about running off.

[kamurj]

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