Dating a guy with very little experience with women

[bwomp3181]

Hello all. I just started seeing someone who confessed to me tha he's never really been in a relationship before. He's been on dates and whatnot, but girls ways dump him after a couple weeks.

 

I can see why girls don't like him. He's kind of awkward and eccentric. He's geeky but I think nerdy guys are the best, honestly. I think hes adorable and sweet and he's not a commitment-phobe either

 

My only problem is that I'm usually the submissive one (I mean that non sexually) I usually go for guys who are dominant and assertive/aggressive. I'm not good at taking the lead and that's most likely what I'm going to have to do. Also, I feel like once we cross the sexual borders, it's going to be very awkward.

 

Really, there's nothing wrong with this guy...not that I know of yet. He's got his own place, own car, job, no kids etc etc...

 

Anyone have any advice or tips for me? Maybe someone out there who has been through this with their significant other?

[Kaykayxo]

What do you mean "take the lead" (non sexually)? Is he socially inept? Because being awkward and being extremely socially challenged are two different things. Just because he is shy and has never had a serious relationship, doesn't mean he is a incapable lol. I'm sure he will hold his own if he wants too. However I understand it is difficult to adapt to a new partners personality/ways when you are used to dating a specific type. I think that is the fun of it though...getting to learn each other, understanding what works and what doesn't. It's all a process that you will have to figure out naturally. Yes, you may have to "take the reign" at some points moreso than you did with others, but there is nothing wrong with that! Might give the relationship a more equal balance than one person having to be "submissive". It will probably be good for you to experience a different type of dynamic, where you might have to step out the comfort zone as well. You'll know better as your relationship with him progresses how to act/if it's a good fit etc.

[bwomp3181]

What do you mean "take the lead" (non sexually)? Is he socially inept? Because being awkward and being extremely socially challenged are two different things. Just because he is shy and has never had a serious relationship, doesn't mean he is a incapable lol. I'm sure he will hold his own if he wants too. However I understand it is difficult to adapt to a new partners personality/ways when you are used to dating a specific type. I think that is the fun of it though...getting to learn each other, understanding what works and what doesn't. It's all a process that you will have to figure out naturally. Yes, you may have to "take the reign" at some points moreso than you did with others, but there is nothing wrong with that! Might give the relationship a more equal balance than one person having to be "submissive". It will probably be good for you to experience a different type of dynamic, where you might have to step out the comfort zone as well. You'll know better as your relationship with him progresses how to act/if it's a good fit etc.

I just don't want him to feel discouraged if a situation comes up when I have to take lead and show him whats expected in a relationship. I'm not good at doing that kind of thing. I do feel as though hell come out of his awkward she'll a litte as time goes on.

[Ms Darcy]

I know exactly what you mean. It may take experiencing him in the bedroom a bit to know for sure. But if it's not compatible there, don't waste your time.

[mustlovedogs]

I think you're being a bit condescending. I think most people generally know how to act in a relationship and they figure it out as they go. I didn't have a real relationship until I was 23 and it lasted 2 years. We both figured it out. Don't talk down to him and 'show him how it's done'. Just enjoy your time with him and figure it out, as you go, together.

[Rising100]

I think you're being a bit condescending. I think most people generally know how to act in a relationship and they figure it out as they go. I didn't have a real relationship until I was 23 and it lasted 2 years. We both figured it out. Don't talk down to him and 'show him how it's done'. Just enjoy your time with him and figure it out, as you go, together.

I agree with this, best answer.

 

Seems like you are attracted to him so go for it.

You dont have to take the lead, just dont do anything and let him choose and do as you two go along.

[Chili]

It sounds like you like him, so go explore him. Try to relax and see how far it goes. Maybe his personality unfolds after a while. I have friends like that who blossomed once they met a girl they felt was a safe habour.

If he is too awkward after a while, then what did you lose being making the attempt?

 

Just go for it, you might be laughing at this "we have no alpha in our relationship" situation a few months from now

[RainyCoast]

if you're only comfortable being led by a man, it might be good to challenge yourself with men whom you can't automatically abdicate the entire position of power to.

 

that said, haven't you complained about not wanting sex? you're both likely to experience the relationship as explorative. perhaps it's just the fear of operating outside of your comfort zone. or maybe you find him okay but not that much. if it's still early, i'd relax getting to know him first, lest you put the cart before the horse.