I cause arguments for us both and I want to stop

[homoioi]

I've been with my girlfriend for a while now and we're generally happy together. However recently I've been causing a lot of petty arguments and disputes that have been causing massive issues. None of the arguments that we have ever amount to much, but they're wearing us down. Does anyone have any tips for how I can stop these unnecessary arguments?

[Edmund Exley]

Keep your mouth shut?

[Wiseman2]

How long have you been dating? What is the bickering about? It takes two to argue so all you can do is diffuse things and strive for agreement, compromise or negotiation rather than who's right, who's wrong

I've been causing a lot of petty arguments and disputes that have been causing massive issues.

[Seraphim]

Think about it this way will the thing you were arguing about matter in 10 minutes ?five years ?10 years ? Does being right matter more than your relationship ? Do things matter more than people ?

 

See what I am saying?

[Seraphim]

Keep your mouth shut?

 

And in a way this is true as well . For example my husband moved some stuff around in the basement and I have a Rubbermaid bin full of my very delicate Christmas ornaments . I think he has been told about 1001 times that things cannot be placed on top of this bin. Well.. I can no longer see where this bin is at but rather than have a nervous break down and screech at him about my bin I have decided to keep my mouth shut and trust that he understands things are not supposed to be placed on top of it .

[melancholy123]

Think before you speak.

[Edmund Exley]

And in a way this is true as well . For example my husband moved some stuff around in the basement and I have a Rubbermaid bin full of my very delicate Christmas ornaments . I think he has been told about 1001 times that things cannot be placed on top of this bin. Well.. I can no longer see where this bin is at but rather than have a nervous break down and screech at him about my bin I have decided to keep my mouth shut and trust that he understands things are not supposed to be placed on top of it .

 

"Even a fish wouldn't get in trouble if it kept its mouth shut" - My Father.

 

In all seriousness, sometimes you just have to know how to pick your battles.

[Pretzel]

Sometimes people push your buttons more than others and often this is due to underlying issues that were never addressed, and then they come out in the form of petty disputes about things that shouldn't escalate.

 

I would really work on addressing whatever it is that is causing this. Sadly sometimes this is not recoverable if there are inherent things in the other person that frustrate and don't change.

[DancingFool]

Constantly picking petty arguments is usually a symptom of something else. Either poor conflict resolution in that you have built up a lot of resentments over time, but instead of airing and addressing them have bottled them up so now they are coming out in the form of sniping at your partner, or you aren't really happy and are looking for a way out of the relationship so actively sabotaging it so you can walk, bored and fighting gives an adrenaline rush, stress that has nothing to do with the relationship but you are taking it out on the relationship through petty arguments.

 

You kind of need to be honest with yourself about what's really going on with you and why you are doing what you are doing.

[Stay_home]

I've been with my girlfriend for a while now and we're generally happy together. However recently I've been causing a lot of petty arguments and disputes that have been causing massive issues. None of the arguments that we have ever amount to much, but they're wearing us down. Does anyone have any tips for how I can stop these unnecessary arguments?

 

Yes. Think before you speak.

 

If it's not something that you'll be angry about two weeks later, drop it.