Questioning his intentions-not sure if he genuinely likes me or is just playing

[chunt2]

I started dating this guy about a month ago, and we really hit it off. I usually dont fall for guys this hard or fast and I can't remember the last time I really liked someone like I do about him. I was getting the vibe that he felt the same way about me...however he has a tendency to not follow through on our plans...plans that HE originally came up with and asked me to do. For example, he will ask me to hang out or go out to dinner and then will either forget about it and not mention it at all to me, or he will say he's too tired/or busy to do something. When I finally called him out on flaking out all the time, he always says how he has a busy life and a lot going on right now and he's not used to having to share his time and make time for someone . Now I'm starting to question everything, esp his intentions and whether or not he has true genuine feelings for me or not. I feel like if you really do like someone, you make the time to see and talk to them. Period. Not sure if this is all one big mind game to him??

[missmarple]

I would tell him to contact me when he gets used to sharing his time and if I'm still single at the time, I'll see what I can do

[Person1001]

That to me is not genuine feelings and either never wanted something serious or has lost interest in you. I absolutely detest people who do not follow through on plans and if they do it more then once, I don't give them the time of day. If someone cares for you, no matter how busy they are, they will find a way to share their time w/you. I find it a lame excuse to get out of something to tell a person there is a lot going on, they are busy etc, all BS excuses.

[notalady]

Seems like lack of interest to me. And it's rude to flake on plans regardless whether you have genuine interest in someone or not. So no I don't think he genuinely likes you (not enough to give you the time of day to go on a date to say the least!) I would move on.

[blue jean]

I was just going to post the same question ... I have tried to rationalize this and understand that people have busy lives but still changing plans and canceling on someone without telling them feels like total disrespect to me.

[SherrySher]

Nope..unless he's the president of the United States, he has time. He has lost interest and is not willing to make time for you. If he was into you, he would be excited to see you and for sure would be there with bells on when a date was meant to happen. But he is neither of those things and is giving you the run around.

I wouldn't even bother replying to him at all anymore or begging for time...I would simply move on. No one needs that kind of treatment.

[AvaD21]

Agreed with the others. If you ghost him he probably will wonder why and say he'll try to make the effort to keep you as an option but if he's not doing it one month in it would be doomed to fail, sorry OP

[greta96]

I would think he is in a relationship with someone else. This is exactly, word by word, the pattern my ex did with me both in the past, when we were "together" (or so I thought) and now, when he claimed he wanted us to reconnect and re-establish a friendship. He would make plans, only to either not call me the day of at all, or call me late at night when it was too late for said plans to happen (without even mentioning the plans), or rarely he would call me beforehand to cancel. He did this to me on my birthday! He had the day all planned out, with details, I was so excited about it, then when the day came I only heard from him at 9 pm to wish me Happy B-day, no apologies, he didn't even mention the plans we had!

Turned out he wasn't even single, I was not the only woman in his life! Now, years later, same situation.

Don't be me, don't wait years to figure out he is not worth your time and energy. You are absolutely right in thinking that when someone is interested, he is excited to see you and will move plans around to make room to see you and be with you, even for 2 hours. Anything less just shows that he is not interested enough, or not single, and that he has no respect for your time and feelings.

Skip this one, nothing good will come of it.

[Wiseman2]

Are you exclusive or are you both multidating? How often do you hang out? It sounds like he's ok with spontaneous hang outs and hookups but does not want a relationship or anything that ties him down to one person or advanced concrete plans.

I started dating this guy about a month ago. he will ask me to hang out or go out to dinner and then will either forget about it. he's not used to having to share his time and make time for someone .

[lucidious]

His actions speak for itself, he's super flakey and no one is that busy. If he was really interested in you, he would make time to meet up. Just pull back, esp since you say you fell for him hard and fast. It's only been a month, don't invest your feelings in someone who isn't reciprocating. Why and how can you 'fall' for someone who doesn't make time for you and doesn't even remember making plans with you?

[SoulTaker]

When I finally called him out on flaking out all the time, he always says how he has a busy life and a lot going on right now and he's not used to having to share his time and make time for someone.

 

This is one of the most common, and lamest excuses that people use. He really is insulting your intelligence, in thinking that he can still hold on to you with this lie. Unless you're desperate, his "interest level" is too low for you to hang around. Time to move on.