No contact...did you ever hear from your ex?

[Kayley]

I'm not expecting to hear anything from my ex. I miss him and would like to be on speaking terms but I'm NC to try to pull myself together from this break up. Sort myself out and heal not because I have any expectations he'll be back.

 

I'm just genuinely curious if people did hear from exes during NC and when in NC/post break up did it occur?

 

Like I said, I don't think he'll contact me and I'm learning to be okay with that and I'm hoping with continued NC I will actually get to that point where I am completely okay with it.

 

I'm just nosey basically.

[mustlovedogs]

Once I went NC I didn't hear from him... Until 8 months later when he reached out to see how I'm doing.

[RomansEmpire]

In my experience I have heard from ex's anywhere from 6 mos to 1 year afterwards. Never to try to reconcile, only to check up on me and/or soothe a guilty conscience.

[Lone She Wolf]

It depends on whether he knows you're NC or not. If he knows that it would be the best thing, he probably won't contact you. I've asked exes to please not contact me and they have respected that and have never contacted me again.

[Kayley]

^^ no he doesn't know but for a week after the break up I initiated conversation a few times (pretty pathetically because I was confused & hurting, wanted answers which I realise now I shouldn't have done). He tended to reply once then wouldn't if I answered him. One day it turned into an argument and I stopped answering...apologised a few days later. He did say at some point within those few days he wanted to be friends but we both needed time and space and he would text me. I think the fact that we argued & I asked him to meet me to clear the air afterwards may have changed his mind.

 

I kind of hope it has, I don't want contact down the line when I'm over it. I honestly don't think he will contact because he hasn't so far and I just have a gut feeling that it's done now. I'm just curious about peoples experiences.

 

I've only had one other break up before, it was a very toxic relationship and I was the one who left. He contacted me relentlessly for 6 months while I was barely replying. That's the only experience I have hence my curiosity.

[Roselynn1]

I miss him and would like to be on speaking terms but I'm NC to try to pull myself together from this break up.

 

It depends, every situation is different. Some people never hear from an ex. Mine used to text a couple of times a week then once a week. Hearing from him became too difficult because each time I started having expectations of reconciling. I blocked my ex. Got weak and unblocked and two days later got an "I miss you text". Someone can miss you and still not want to be with you. I had to block him again. And as hard and as painful as it is I know NC is the right thing to do. It's hard to just be friends with an ex, especially when you still care and want more.

[Kayley]

It depends, every situation is different. Some people never hear from an ex. Mine used to text a couple of times a week then once a week. Hearing from him became too difficult because each time I started having expectations of reconciling. I blocked my ex. Got weak and unblocked and two days later got an "I miss you text". Someone can miss you and still not want to be with you. I had to block him again. And as hard and as painful as it is I know NC is the right thing to do. It's hard to just be friends with an ex, especially when you still care and want more.

 

Yes! I suppose by that I mean right now I'd like to be on speaking terms but I know it's the worst thing for me. I'm hoping that continued NC will get rid of those feelings. I actually really don't think I want to reconcile, I have moments where I do but the moments where I don't want to are becoming more frequent. I just the missing him would go along with the feelings.

[lainey87]

Yes. She came back after 3 months. Practically begging me. But because she had been speaking to so many different guy's n met other people, they were now part of her life. She kept them around in our new relationship. Finally cheated on me 3 months into it and is now dating other people again. This all happened 1 week ago. I'm on day 1 officially of no contact. I can't see her coming back this time. She obviously wasn't happy with me anymore. My advice, stick to no contact. He will send messages, I got a message every Thursday for about a month. It was like clockwork. Then they came flooding in when I responded to one of them. No contact does work to get an ex back, but it does get you over them as well. I got to month 3 and I was basically over her. Then she came back. Now I have to deal with all this pain again. It's worse the second time round, because you already know how much it hurts to go through all this. Not sure how my body is going to cope to be honest. The pain is deep.

[laragrau]

after i kicked my bf he kept texting and calling me for the first few days. now it got quite. let's see how long he can keep this up.

[lainey87]

Do not use it to get him back incase he doesn't come back. Just know that there is a very high chance he will come back if you stay in no contact. Do not reply to stupid messages. He will be testing to see if he can still have you at the push of a button. He will move mountains to get you back if he wants you. Just know that after around 2 n a half to 3 months you will have near enough moved on. U will still think about him. But you won't be in pain anymore. That's what happened with me anyway.

[Kayley]

Do not use it to get him back incase he doesn't come back. Just know that there is a very high chance he will come back if you stay in no contact. Do not reply to stupid messages. He will be testing to see if he can still have you at the push of a button. He will move mountains to get you back if he wants you. Just know that after around 2 n a half to 3 months you will have near enough moved on. U will still think about him. But you won't be in pain anymore. That's what happened with me anyway.

 

Nah I'm not using it to get him back. The first week I did have hopes we would get back together but every day that passes I find myself wanting that a little less. There are moments when I want him back but they're getting fewer and further between. I'm honestly not expecting to hear from him at this point. There is a part of me that would like to and I've had huge urges to break NC this week but I know I'd regret it. I'm not expecting to hear anything & I'm learning to accept that.

 

I was just curious of peoples experiences because my last break up was very different.

[Roselynn1]

He will move mountains to get you back if he wants you.

 

This right here!! No need to contact cuz when a man wants you he will do what he must. Sometimes it was so hard to not contact him but i need to know that I'm wanted and loved like I need to be. I refuse to settle and rather just try and stay NC and get over it. Never settle.

[Reflections11]

The last two big times I had to really do NC..... the first one I never heard back from. It sucked at the time, but it's really just a blessing in disguise because after 4 months or so I had moved on.

 

I did it again about 1 year ago, which I broke on Christmas by sending a "Merry Christmas" text. Terrible idea. I restarted and didnt hear back until like 6+ months later. He tried to connect a couple times but by this point I had been so far removed from the situation I no longer cared at all and wasn't interested.

 

In the end, you dont WANT to hear back. It's horribly painful to sit there without getting message from them, and thinking "Don't they wonder about me at all?" "Do they even notice I'm gone?" "How is this so easy for them while I'm sitting here struggling to get through every minute" etc etc etc. But making contact completely resets your healing, and the best thing for you is to NOT hear from them.

[IAmFCA]

Yup, still hear from him. "You okay?" Still don't answer.

[ParisPaulette]

Yes, unfortunately from a few. Others nope, never heard from them again

 

By the time you hear from one of them it's usually been a done deal for awhile and hopefully you're just annoyed or wonder if you were drunk the entire relationship, because this stranger can't possibly be that wonderful person who broke your heart.

 

Also it's been my experience exes do not show up when life is going well for them. Only when they are down and need an ego boost or pick-me-up. I've learned to just ignore contact from exes and I'm happily married now anyways, so meh. Not interested.

[Wolfshook]

I have,up untill 2 months ago she would contact me about every 2 months with something stupid. I finally blocked her and she contacted me again through other means, but I think she got the idea that I dont want to hear from her finally, so she stopped.

[kz91]

Yeah, seven months later. It was too late.

[Sharny]

So today i cracked...i had done 7 days nc...evwn thought i was getting somewhere....today is my sons birthday and the emotion of it all just hit me and i messaged him that I Missed him, his voice, his smile. On one hand i wish i hadnt but right now ive got my answer. He hasnt messaged back, he broke it off, no real reason except all external influences, nothing direct to me. Now im 41 so ive been through some totally s*** and really good relationships. This short term relationship was something very special though. To me.....he said all the right things and showed it too....yet complete silence. I have to work through this and i dont know how, im not gonna lie. I so prefer the 'I dont love you anymore' dumping as somehow its easier to get over....as you get older you will get that statement. Do i want him back? Well part of me is devastated at going from what we had to nothing another part of me is saying that if he regrets his actions down the line when he realises i wasnt needy, demanding, emotional wreck and actually had my together....it may be too late then. No one knows the future in as what others will do except you. You make your future whether he comes back into it or not isnt your concern....though in the early days it hurts like crazy!!

[SooSad33]

I've heard from a number of ex's over the last few yrs.

After one long term.. he contacted me within a year. I never replied... he cheated

 

Another one.... it lasted 4 mos.. cause he used me as a fwb... no thnx. He still tries now n then. I never reply.

Another one tried to contact, after 2 mos... he used me as well... then pushed me away. I shut him down. This also happened with another guy... they get you intrested.. then disapear. I do not play that game! He got told off too.

 

ONLY guy I talk to... who I have been involved with ( for about a year), I do talk with often, cause he IS real and decent. Things just ended cause things wern't moving forward and I walked. We are not enemies.. but respect each other.

 

In the end.. no, I do not want to deal with my ex's.... they aren't worth it.. and being fully involved is not a typical 'friendship'. Those lines have been crossed.

 

Takes time.. to get over and let go.. but it can be done.

 

 

One day at a time.