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Need some advice on GF


Mikey21c

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Hey guys so I've posted here before when my GF wss cheating on me with some other guy and I took everyone's advice and left her and moved out of our apartment. After about a month apart we got back together and decided to try and work things out, she even suggested we go to couple's therapy. She has cut this guy completely out of her life and that is not even an issue anymore. My new problem with her is that she has become very friendly with all these other guys and has them randomly texting her all the time. She doesn't try to hide it at all and has shown me the conversations and is honest about everything as far as I know. We also spend most of our free time together and I've seen her making an effort but I have a hard time trusting her with everything that has gone on in the past. One last thing is that she has picked up smoking Wed and it has gone from a once a week thing to smoking every single day now. I told her I was concerned and she feels like I'm trying to parent her and she doesn't feel like she has a problem. How can I work on the trust issues, but most importantly how can I get her to stop smoking. She's a bartender by the way and all her friends smoke which is where I think she picked it up.

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You were advised to leave her for good. Cheating on your partner/spouse is a very serious offense that deserves an instant break up. You definitely took a risk in taking her back and are now seeing that it was not a good decision.

 

My new problem with her is that she has become very friendly with all these other guys and has them randomly texting her all the time.

Who are these guys? Long time friends of hers? Coworkers? Or random people she met?

 

We also spend most of our free time together and I've seen her making an effort but I have a hard time trusting her with everything that has gone on in the past.

This is why you were advised to dump her. You cannot have a relationship with a person you no longer trust. You were not ready to take her back... And there the possibility that you never will.

 

One last thing is that she has picked up smoking Wed and it has gone from a once a week thing to smoking every single day now. I told her I was concerned and she feels like I'm trying to parent her and she doesn't feel like she has a problem.

Marijuana is addictive. You cannot get someone to break from this habit. Doing narcotics is a huge dealbreaker for many people.

 

 

The words are written on the wall for what you must do.

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I have a similar issue with my bf smoking weed. We both used to before we met and he randomly started doing it again. I told him I didn't really like it, it's immature, but he agreed to tell me when he's doing it and if I didn't feel comfortable he'd stop. Don't know if that would help?

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Marijuana is addictive. You cannot get someone to break from this habit. Doing narcotics is a huge dealbreaker for many

 

Not to take this thread off topic but marijuana is NOT a narcotic. Please. Yes it can be addicting, so can alcohol, so can sugar but they're not narcotics. She may be self medicating depression or anxiety. That's why I started smoking. It's not like she's doing heroin. She's just smoking some weed.

 

As for the real problem you need to walk away. You will never trust her or view her the same again. It's only been a month since she cheated. You have not healed from the betrayal.

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There's only a few mos left on the lease so you can reconsider at that time whether to part ways since you are very incompatible and there are ongoing trust and lifestyle issues.

left her and moved out of our apartment. After about a month apart we got back together and decided to try and work things out.she has picked up smoking Wed and it has gone from a once a week thing to smoking every single day now. She's a bartender by the way and all her friends smoke which is where I think she picked it up.
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My new problem with her is that she has become very friendly with all these other guys and has them randomly texting her all the time. [...] I have a hard time trusting her with everything that has gone on in the past.

 

Well, what's to trust, exactly? She's still entertaining an on-deck circle for when she's done pacifying you with her best behavior.

 

Good luck with that.

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