Ex friend is ruining my life..

[Bear101]

I'm 19 she's 23 we used to be friends but over time I have seen her true self she's a attention seeking liar who loves to compete with her friends it being, better in looks to school to jobs she has to show everyone she is better. She is beauteful and smart and even though we are no longer friends I am happy for her and only wish the best for her and her husband. I was her friend till I couldn't take it anymore she goes around and tells people awful things about me even when I was her friend she did this just not as bad as it is now like on Twitter and Facebook I have had friends tell me she was talking about me. I blocked her off all social media. She's mad that I don't fowllow her on social media and because I don't take her crap we haven't been friends for almost three months and I still hear about the things she says not only about me but other ex friends of hers. Some people belive the things she says and some don't I hope. to make it worst we are basically neighbors and our husbands are not only close friends but also work together and their boss invite us all over 😫 for parties and or dinner and it gets weird. Some people that she has talked to about me now hate me but they have never met me before they don't know who I really am as a person which is why I'm so upset over this. we are adults acting like children, I can admit blocking her was childish but talking to her didn't work now I don't know what to do?! I just want my name to stay out of her mouth and us all to be happy and healthy and move on.

[Andrina]

I would tell the people who start telling you what she is saying that you no longer want to hear about it. Your husband can tell the boss that you don't wish to attend events where she will be present. That's the only control you have at this point, and you could move if you're renting.

[catfeeder]

She's not ruining your life, she's ruining her own reputation every time she badmouths anyone. I'd respond to anyone who tries to tell you anything about her that she's off limits for discussion, and you trust their discretion in whether or not they choose to believe her.

 

Head high, you'll come out the other side of this faster if you disengage.

[zeino]

I know this one, it sucks. However, ugly as it is, it doesn't mean that you cannot come out of this as the stronger, more mature side who is able to win people's trust. Soon, those who are worthy of keeping in your life will realize easily that you are not the one with a problem, she is. The trick is to emotionally disengage and detach first, but please do not leave any space to her or avoid professional functions etc because of her, neither ask anyone with a professional title to do anything about this - these may make you seem like a drama queen even if you are not one.

 

So, you can start with changing your perspective about how these people see you after her words. If they believe her, they are not worth having in your life. Simple. And they will be burned by this woman, too. usually, mature and worthy people quickly sense that something is very wrong with a person who badmouths others this way - though they may not always react. Those people sharing with you what has happened obviously think better of you and may be worth keeping in your life.

 

When you are told what she told, you can calmly say that you know that this has been going on and you hope this person finds peace. You can also thank the speaker, say you are lucky to have trustworthy friends who know you. No further explanation is needed. Do not defend yourself just one bit. At most, say no with your head but calmly. You can change the subject after this comment and even say "Let's talk about better things. I have been hearing these for a while now and I'm sorry they bothered you, too."

 

During social events, don't be rude to her. Bus stop politeness will help you. Bus stop politeness means treating her like someone waiting at a bus stop. We are polite and distant. We will seem positive but nothing they do can make us closer at that moment. We are only together at the bus stop, that's all. And soon we will part ways and that's very nice and makes everything more bearable.

 

Does she provoke you at all at these parties?

Who are these people who hate you? Professional connections or friends?

What is she telling to people about you?