Why must they say this phrase?

[mandeelove]

It never goes out of style. Why do people say "it's not you, it's me" when ending something ? Why can't they just be honest and say you're not my type or something.

[moodindigo91]

If you aren't their type, then saying "it's not you, it's me" would be true and honest, right?

[lostandhurt]

There have been times when it has been true. Sometimes a person starts dating and thinks they will date around a bit and have fun after a break up only to meet someone great and then it starts to get real and they realize they are not ready for another relationship so they say things like this.

 

Of course most of the time it is someone that really doesn't want to hurt the other persons feelings so they blame themselves. In all cases I would read it as "I am not that into you and don't want to date you any longer"

 

In the end the person is gone no matter the reason but we always want answers don't we. Why? Why? Why? If we only knew the real truth....

 

Lost

[zeino]

Because they are trying to get away as quickly as possible without any further issues and "it's me" prevents the other party from saying "what can I try to make this better" etc. Also, not 100% dishonest, it's always about us actually. Even when someone is not our type, it is about us and how we see it. Finally, not many people enjoy breaking hearts in that last conversation if you are a decent enough person but they are not attracted to you, you get this. Also a trick to contain narcissists and toxic people sometimes.

[DancingFool]

It's not you, it's me = there is nothing wrong with you and you didn't do anything bad it's just that I have a different idea about who I want in my life = you are not my type.

[boltnrun]

It's because if they say something like you're too clingy or too controlling or you don't like sci fi movies, the other person can claim they will "change".

 

They don't want the other person to "change". They just don't want to be with them anymore. Hence, the "it's not you, it's me".

[Wiseman2]

Diplomacy and this 6690790] "it's me" prevents the other party from saying "what can I try to make this better" etc.

[pippy longstocking]

I have said it .. and I really meant it ..they are great , lovable , handsome , funny ....whatever , but for me it doesn't light my fire .

[mfan]

If you aren't their type, then saying "it's not you, it's me" would be true and honest, right?

"It's not you, it's both of us" would be the most honest.

[zeino]

I say it to my narc mother all the time. Bad things me, good things her. She agrees full-heartedly If I'm ever dumped this way, I will follow my mother's footsteps and say "Obviously."

[JaggerJim]

It's to try and trick the other person, and get them all confused.

[HeartGoesOn]

It's a classic phrase, and an easy way out.

[ParisPaulette]

For a variety of reasons, but usually it's either a: they want the least amount of drama possible and that line is not going to trigger a total meltdown the same way an insulting reason or a really harsh truth might OR b: (and the more likely) they really honestly have no full idea of why they don't want a relationship with you anymore. They just know they don't and they have no idea what to say.

 

Also it pretty much ends the conversation, because if they say "I want to break up, because …." chances are good the other party will say, "I can change that, I will change that," and now they are stuck trying to end things while the other person tries to bargain and refuse to accept the breakup.

 

Is it sucky? Yeah, but aren't all breakups. It's rotten, I know.

[SoulTaker]

It never goes out of style. Why do people say "it's not you, it's me" when ending something ? Why can't they just be honest and say you're not my type or something.

 

Either because it is how they truly feel, or they see nothing to gain in pointing out your faults (looks, personality, manners, lack of compatibility/chemistry,...).

[Sportster2005]

It never goes out of style. Why do people say "it's not you, it's me" when ending something ? Why can't they just be honest and say you're not my type or something.

 

Because they don't want to hurt you further. And sometimes it is them.

 

I'm O.K with it. The one that makes my eyes roll at the speed of light is.

 

"I love you, I'm just not in love with you." No one over the age of 13 should be allowed to utter those words.