Help does he have kids he abandoned??

[Noshissu]

I feel like the man I love has been lieing to me our whole relationship.How do I find out if he has other children ? How can i find out if he has been married before? I have tried asking him he denies it but i feel in my guy he lies. I have tried to research on line but its like he doesnt exist. I tried the ancestry site i cant even find a record of his birth.It all started when I started asking about some income tax matters. I have been with him 12 years out of the last 15. We have had communication problems all along we have seperated and then worked things out. We have a 10 year old child together. I am loosing my mind if any one has suggestions for what i can do to find some answers i would really appreciate it.

[DancingFool]

Why are you suddenly questioning that now???? You've been together for years and even have a 10 year old child. What changed?

 

If you must put your fears to rest, assuming they are rational, you'd need to hire a proper PI to dig up proper information and not rely on hack sites like ancestry or whatever.

[Wiseman2]

Are you married or legally separated? Are you filing joint taxes? What were these income questions? You allude to that being the reason for the suspicion of other spouses and children?

 

The sites you mention are useless and have a ton of misinformation. Why are you goggling him? You've never seen his birth certificate? Why are you bothering with commercial sites and poor data sources like this? What is it you want to find out and why?

It all started when I started asking about some income tax matters. we have seperated and then worked things out. We have a 10 year old child together.

[Lisii]

What has brought this on?

[ThatwasThen]

Yet another question: Why do you say you've been together for the last 12 years out of 15 rather then just say you've been together for 12 years?

[j.man]

Based on the smorgasbord of information you've provided us, the obvious conclusion is absolutely. If I had to guess, he's got at least 12. At least.

[Noshissu]

Purchased a home started looking closer at our finances asked questions he avoids giving me answers

[Noshissu]

I dont know

[reinventmyself]

Purchased a home started looking closer at our finances asked questions he avoids giving me answers

 

You'll need to be specific. What makes you think he has other kids exactly?

[j.man]

Purchased a home started looking closer at our finances asked questions he avoids giving me answers

what

 

kind

 

of

 

questions

 

doesnt

 

he

 

want

 

to

 

answer

 

for

 

you

 

I swear to if we have to pry for 5 pages for vague one-line answers, I'm gonna flip. At this rate, one of those $5 magic 8-balls with the toxic **** inside of it would be just as helpful to you as us.

[Wiseman2]

Did you purchase a home together or did he purchase a home for a mistress/mystery family somewhere?

 

What questions are you asking and why haven't looked at bank records or asked your accountant or hired an attorney if you believe there is marriage fraud?

 

Is money missing? Do you suspect it goes to wives/mistresses, other kids? Does he hide money like a gambler drug addict?

Purchased a home started looking closer at our finances asked questions he avoids giving me answers

[Noshissu]

He cant explain where 25,000 retirement savings went. I asked to see for myself to put these fears to rest and he will not let me access his goverment account (as an authorized representative). He has full access to all my stuff He had reassessments of his taxes done his returns were taken but he says he doesnt know why says he lost his birth certificate.

[ThatwasThen]

what

 

kind

 

of

 

questions

 

doesnt

 

he

 

want

 

to

 

answer

 

for

 

you

 

I swear to if we have to pry for 5 pages for vague one-line answers, I'm gonna flip. At this rate, one of those $5 magic 8-balls with the toxic **** inside of it would be just as helpful to you as us.

*laughing here*

[Noshissu]

I guess I will hire a PI .Thanks for the advice

[Wiseman2]

Do you think he's hiding money in contemplation of divorce? Hire an attorney rather than look on ancestry for answers. He can't hide money from you if you are married.

He cant explain where 25,000 retirement savings went. I asked to see for myself to put these fears to rest and he will not let me access his goverment account. He had reassessments of his taxes done his returns were taken but he says he doesnt know why says he lost his birth certificate.

[ThatwasThen]

He cant explain where 25,000 retirement savings went. I asked to see for myself to put these fears to rest and he will not let me access his goverment account (as an authorized representative). He has full access to all my stuff He had reassessments of his taxes done his returns were taken but he says he doesnt know why says he lost his birth certificate.

 

As an aside: I suspect that he's hidden the $25,000 in an offshore account so in the event the union is dissolved, you won't be able to touch it.

[Quidam]

Why the fudge would he NEED to disclose to you any info about retirement account?!?

 

You sound like a control freak on a mission

[ThatwasThen]

Why the fudge would he NEED to disclose to you any info about retirement account?!?

 

You sound like a control freak on a mission

Well, not sure about where our Op is from but here in Ontario... a spouse is entitled to half of all assets accumulated during the term of the live in relationship or marriage so half of his/her pensions would be up for grabs... as such, his retirement investment would be her business as would hers be his biz.

[Wiseman2]

In the US it's joint marital property and it's also disclosed immediately upon filing for divorce for that same reason. Particularly if it's a taxed deferred retirement account not just a savings account.

Why the fudge would he NEED to disclose to you any info about retirement account?!?

[abitbroken]

I feel like the man I love has been lieing to me our whole relationship.How do I find out if he has other children ? How can i find out if he has been married before? I have tried asking him he denies it but i feel in my guy he lies. I have tried to research on line but its like he doesnt exist. I tried the ancestry site i cant even find a record of his birth.It all started when I started asking about some income tax matters. I have been with him 12 years out of the last 15. We have had communication problems all along we have seperated and then worked things out. We have a 10 year old child together. I am loosing my mind if any one has suggestions for what i can do to find some answers i would really appreciate it.

 

The Ancestry site usually only shows birth records for people who are deceased for the sake of privacy. The only thing you can really see about a living person is if they are on a census record from 60 years ago, for example. The only way you would be able to tell if he had another child is if the child was deceased. So you are barking up the wrong tree.

 

Also, if you are "together" - do you mean you are married or not? If you are not married and have just been "partners" this whole time, its really none of your business.

 

There are people who have lost money in their retirement accounts due to choosing accounts that were too volatile and might have lost some money. There are times when part of their retirement account could have been diversified into another vehicle.

[Lisii]

The Ancestry site usually only shows birth records for people who are deceased for the sake of privacy. The only thing you can really see about a living person is if they are on a census record from 60 years ago, for example. The only way you would be able to tell if he had another child is if the child was deceased. So you are barking up the wrong tree.

 

Also, if you are "together" - do you mean you are married or not? If you are not married and have just been "partners" this whole time, its really none of your business.

 

There are people who have lost money in their retirement accounts due to choosing accounts that were too volatile and might have lost some money. There are times when part of their retirement account could have been diversified into another vehicle.

 

 

Ummm.

Where I live if you are living together for more than 2 years, what your partner does - is your business. It's a defacto relationship which can claim 50% through a Family Court, there is also the fact that the OP (Noshissu) has a child with him, then yes she is entitled to know where the $$ went.

 

Op, best to get a lawyer and ask your rights

 

Yes, it could be possible that he has put $25k into an "escape fund"