I dont know what to do anymore

[Itsasecret1]

Hey girls... I know a lot of you will judge me and say Im a bit*h but I can't help my feelings and I need someone to talk to .. basically Im in love with a man who I cant ever have ...he is married and has 2 kids... he said he can't leave her because its hard because of his kids..if kids were not there it would be different. But he tells me that he likes me so much and he never felt like this before...so I told him I understand but I can't carry on like this and be his secret because it makes me feel sh*t... i find it easier not seeing him than seeing him and be the second one i miss him like hell but doesn't matter what he says I still feel like she is more important because he wont leave her for me .. he said he can't leave his life right now for me as much as he would want to ...when I say things like " i feel she is more important or that he is just using me" he gets upset because he says its not like that and its not true and that he feels a lot to me .. he said to me ..I can't love her if I feel this way to you.. ... its not about her ..its about the kids .. Iv ended it because Its so hard for me ..he is upset about it but he said he understands...however i have ended this before and he stopped talking for a bit and then started talking to me again telling me how.muxh he misses me and can't get me out of his head ... but this time i said to my self thats it .. im ending this for good because there is no point ..if he wanted to be with me that muxh he would of left her no matter what right ? ..it messes with my head ... but I miss him so fu*king much ... its hard ..

[Wiseman2]

It seems you understand you are being lied to and strung along, so all you have to do is block him and go no contact. Get on some dating apps to find single available honest men rather than married cheaters.

Im in love with a man who I cant ever have ...he is married and has 2 kids... Iv ended it because Its so hard for me

[Itsasecret1]

I have tried dating apps just to get my mind off him before but all men on there were looking for only one thing... so I deleted my profiles ... Im.not desperate for a man ... its just him... I can't get him out of my head because of he told me how strong his feelings are to me and stupid me I believed him and now Im hurt... thank you for your reply

[zeino]

Ah these unloved wives who cannot be left for the sake of children, girlfriends who are loved more than anything else but cannot be offered anything more than words (and textbook distraction strategies of getting upset when confronted with something "how can you think this about me") and of course these poor men who are all obviously sleeping on the sofa in their marital homes. Don't do this to yourself as you deserve much better and if you choose to do this to yourself, don't be surprised to find him enjoying his new single life with multiple lovers if he ever gets a divorce, texting his ex-wife behind your back and trying to do things with her when he drops the kids etc etc. There sure are stories of true love that go beyond these clichés but when a man uses the "child card" I think he often does it to block any demands in advance - you can hate evil wives but you can't hate children, can you? I think these ones are less honest and even worse than the ones who openly say "look, you excite me more than my wife but I am attached to her in a different way and don't want to let go in either way." You miss him because you probably see his façade in a fantasy situation and he wouldn't be that missable if you lived together and he was locking himself in the toilet with his phone to text other women.

 

Seriously, both of you women deserve much better.

[zeino]

I have tried dating apps just to get my mind off him before but all men on there were looking for only one thing...

 

And you think your married man is not? try it. Say that you love him a lot but cannot have sex with him for six months for a reason - like you got a synthetic estrogen injection and it messed with your vagina and no entry is possible and then you don't know for sure. Ask to meet him for coffee outside twice a week though as you both love each other. Then sit back and watch how deep his love is for you.

 

You are not a b*tch by the way. You are the victim of a master manipulator.

[Wiseman2]

Sadly this cheater has twisted your mind into thinking like that because that's all he's doing.

 

Anything or anyone on a dating app is probably a smarter choice and no it's not as easy as sitting home listen to saccharine lies. You'll have to get real get out there and find real men..

 

If you are not "desperate for a man" why are you chasing a married guy?

I have tried dating apps just to get my mind off him before but all men on there were looking for only one thing. Im.not desperate for a man

[pippy longstocking]

You realise every single one of them says this ...bog standard ...I can't leave her because of the kids ....

 

You either battle though the pain and then you will see you where just a convenient piece of skirt for him or you will buckle because it hurts and carry on letting him have you .

Your choice , you have to go through breakup pain , that is the end of it.

 

Just remember which one of you goes to bed alone every night .

[Itsasecret1]

I wasn't looking for anyone ... it just happened..I don't even know when I fell for him ..it just happened i wasn't planning it ..

[Itsasecret1]

That is so true ... thats what upsets me that I go to sleep alone every night but he is there sleeping next to her .. you so right thank you .. thank all of you for some good advice

[pippy longstocking]

That is so true ... thats what upsets me that I go to sleep alone every night but he is there sleeping next to her .. you so right thank you .. thank all of you for some good advice

 

You can do this ..you really can ... he has everything ...just keep telling yourself the facts ..he has holidays , christmas, thanks giving , family days out , plans , conversations , togetherness .... and AND he has you as well ...Please ..give YOU a chance in this world of men and relationships x

[Itsasecret1]

I did actually meet someone and been in a relationship for 2 months ...but he started texting me and telling me how he misses me and that he hopes im happy and that this guy treats me right .. and he misses us ..and everything that was between us and he said that he thinks that one day we will definitely be together and as soon as he started telling me all this Iv realised my feelings are still there for him and I can't be with anyone when I have such a strong feelings to someone else and I had to end my relationship because i felt like im being unfair on him because the other one is always on my.mind ... because of him I can't imagine being with anybody else at the moment and it piss*s me off !! And makes me upset

[pippy longstocking]

I did actually meet someone and been in a relationship for 2 months ...but he started texting me and telling me how he misses me and that he hopes im happy and that this guy treats me right .. and he misses us ..and everything that was between us and he said that he thinks that one day we will definitely be together and as soon as he started telling me all this Iv realised my feelings are still there for him and I can't be with anyone when I have such a strong feelings to someone else and I had to end my relationship because i felt like im being unfair on him because the other one is always on my.mind ... because of him I can't imagine being with anybody else at the moment and it piss*s me off !! And makes me upset

 

 

He could keep this going for years darling ..next thing you are an old stoned hag like me with dried up eggs and a bad attitude and he will still be finding reasons he needs to stay with his wife ...because the truth is ...he wants to darling ...he wants to be with his wife , he wants family life ..kids just don;t suddenly leave home at 18 and all is sweet , especially in this climate ..kids stay at home older these days , then the grandkids come along ..

 

Respect yourself darling heart ... get over it , yes it will hurt , heart break does ..but own this sh1t and sort your life out x

[Itsasecret1]

Thank you

[Itsasecret1]

I needed someone to talk to because I feel ashamed of front of my family and friends that Iv done this ..because its not fair on his wife but i did not plan this it just happened and I needed to talk to someone im so glad I found this website.. all of you guys helped a lot

[pippy longstocking]

I needed someone to talk to because I feel ashamed of front of my family and friends that Iv done this ..because its not fair on his wife but i did not plan this it just happened and I needed to talk to someone im so glad I found this website.. all of you guys helped a lot

 

I understand ..it is a difficult subject on here because many a broken soul is wandering around the halls of ENA because of cheating partners .. so you have to expect some crap .

I am glad it has helped ..I hope for you it gives you the strength to walk away now x

[Itsasecret1]

Worst part is that he only got married in September so even though he said how much he likes me and that he still.married her and now he still wants me to be in his life... he told me that he wasn't planning this either and he had no idea he will meet me and he couldn't cancel the wedding.. its all fu*ked up but I only just started to realise...I was naive ..

[juicyboy]

I wasn't looking for anyone ... it just happened..I don't even know when I fell for him ..it just happened i wasn't planning it ..

 

Lol no one plans love

[Wiseman2]

Does he imagine himself in a polygamous cult leader or the head of a harem? He sounds very narcissistic.

Worst part is that he only got married in September so even though he said how much he likes me and that he still.married her and now he still wants me to be in his life.