NC Day 4 - First breadcrumb

[fixerbelle]

Hi guys, hope you're all okay.

 

I posted my story in a thread a few days ago in the Getting Back Together section.

 

I want my ex back, but he's currently in a same-sex rebound/gigs relationship. I decided to go NC for my own sanity because I felt like I was being strung along due to my ex doing things like:

 

- Initiating contact with me nearly every day

- Wanting to be friends and meet up for walks

- Saying that he cares for me deeply and doesn't want to lose me from his life

- Saying he misses me and needs me

 

I don't want to break NC unless he says his new relationship is over and he wants to work on things with me. I'm also prepared to heal and move on for good if that never happens.

 

This was his breadcrumb text message: "Please have a fantastic week. I'm wishing you the very best always. I want you to feel so so happy and I really hope your appointment which I believe you said was soon, goes really really well. You deserve complete and utter perfection."

 

What's the best way to handle this guys?

 

Like I said, I would rather not respond and break NC as I don't want him to think I'll always be available for him. Is ignoring him cruel on my part considering he's being caring? I want to make sure not responding is for the best...

 

By the way, I want to make it clear that before I went NC I made my feelings clear to him. I told him I was still in love with him, COULD NOT be friends, and needed time and space apart to disconnect and hoped he understands if he doesn't hear from me.

 

What to do guys? I want to respect myself and stay strong, but at the same time have integrity and respect my ex too. Thank you in advance!

[Iggy5129]

Don't reply.

 

Why should you respect someone who cheated and left you for someone else? He sure didn't respect you.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he does not want a heterosexual relationship at this time. The friendzone will be torture if you still harbor romantic feelings. It would be best to maintain nc and not have him as a "friend" after he dumped you for a same-sex relationship.

I want my ex back, but he's currently in a same-sex relationship. I don't want to break NC unless he says his new relationship is over and he wants to work on things with me.

[fixerbelle]

You're right. There's no way in hell I want to be friends. It's too painful. That's why I'm doing NC. It's either all or nothing.

 

I will definitely most likely not be responding to his text. I just hope it doesn't come across as rude as the break up wasn't so black and white. I was far from perfect so it's not fair to blame it all entirely on him. But I know it's not right if I'm being strung along. I don't want to put up with that anymore.

 

Why do you think he is sending breadcrumbs when I made it clear I can't be friends as I'm still in love?

[Wiseman2]

Guilt and a holding pattern in case his same-sex excursion doesn't pan out or he wants multiple types of partners. He's selfish and only doing what's in his own best interest. The charm is superficial.

 

He isn't stringing you along if you are the one holding onto hope and buying these breadcrumbs because he's not properly blocked.

Why do you think he is sending breadcrumbs when I made it clear I can't be friends as I'm still in love?