Can't bring myself to break up with her

[GB11CR7]

Been with my gf for coming up 2 years, we already broke up around 8 months ago but got back together because we missed each other so much. I'm not the out going type so only see my friends once in a blue moon when we arrange a meal or something. So a lot of my time is revolved around my gf which is fine because she's great company. However, I'm beginning to lose physical attraction to her. We haven't had sex in months and I just don't feel I want to. I think about other girls in that sense. But I love my gf as a person, she's the most caring girl I know and I don't want to hurt her.

 

I don't want to fall back into living alone again as I know I'll most likely crack and want her back. I couldn't speak to anyone else like I do her so if I did break up with her it would feel like I'm losing a part of myself.

[pippy longstocking]

I don't want to fall back into living alone again as I know I'll most likely crack and want her back.

 

This is a common theme on here and I am going to be blunt ..hopefully blunt with love .....

 

It is the most selfish , needy , ridiculously sad statement anyone can ever make , but at least you have owned up to it ..so fair play for that . You , everyone , needs to be themselves with themselves as themselves at some stage in their life . As said it is a common theme , so many are trapped in relationships because they can't sit with themselves , can't plan for themselves and can't bear to not be part of a couple . Yet everyone wants a partner to click into place , to make a life together , that partner is expected to love and adore you , yet you don't even know who you are ( speaking generally not firing it all at you ) and you will never know who you are unless you take some time and spend it with yourself .

 

It is actually very enlightening and I do practice what I preach ..albeit it took me to be in my 40's and 5 years totally single , not even a quick pants down behind the bike sheds to finally spend some much needed time with me ...I have sat back and watched one person after another desperately date anyone , settle for second best , go on incredible downers , think their life is nothing , hate the holidays , dread the winter , loathe the long Summer nights and all because they are single !

 

So my point to you op ,and sorry you got that , but be YOU mate ..if you don't want this relationship cut the poor lassie free so she can heal and move on , because she is going to get it at some point , and I fear that point will only be when you have someone else lined up ..then she will be hurt beyond belief .. So what you and many many others do is keep someone with them because they just can't handle their own company .. how sad is that ...for everyone involved .

 

You know you don't want to be with her , that is fine , it happens ..but set her free .

[MissCanuck]

We all experience what you fear after a break-up. I am sure at some point most of us here felt like we lost a part of ourselves when a relationship ended, and missed the companionship of our exes. But we also power through that, and those feelings fade.

 

There is something inside of you loudly yelling at you that this is over. It's not fair to keep her hanging on when you're not attracted anymore. Because sooner or later, you will meet someone you are attracted to, and it will be a messy situation. There is no way to go about this without hurting her, but it will hurt her a lot more in the end to keep her around until you find someone else.

 

Out of curiosity, what has changed that you are not attracted to her now?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately, you can't string her along for friendship, company, etc. pretending to be in a relationship. Using her as a social conduit because you are introverted, lonely, etc. is just wrong. Get your own social live going.

 

Be sincere and honest that you would prefer friendship and want to date others. Has she noticed the lack of affection? Do you live with her? Does she support you financially? Why can't you leave?

a lot of my time is revolved around my gf which is fine because she's great company. However, I'm beginning to lose physical attraction to her. We haven't had sex in months and I just don't feel I want to. I think about other girls in that sense.