Husband and three some

[GiselleGlez]

Hi, so I've been married for 4 years and my husband wants to do a three some. We have been having bed problems and I feel like he isn't into me as much any more. Would this help our sex life? Or would it just make it worse. To be honest I'm a bit curious about it, but would also help to see if I'm the problem. What do you think?

[Hollyj]

Terrible idea. This does not solve problems.

 

Why don't you get marital counseling, instead of bringing others in.

[Seraphim]

If you don't have a really really secure marriage with good communication and boundaries this would possibly finish your marriage.

[Kaykayxo]

"Would also help to see if I'm the problem" This is a horrible way to think! You think agreeing to bring another women into bed with the two of you will draw you together or strengthen your marriage?

Sexuality and kinks vary. Some people are turned on by threesomes. I would have a big problem with watching my man doing these things with somebody other than me IN FRONT OF ME. I don't care how "hot" it looks or seems in pornography. It also seems like you are just contemplating it as a means of pleasing him, not yourself. Do YOU have any desire in having sexual relations or letting another women in your bed? To me it is just the brink of him starting to do things outside your marriage, because he may either get a taste of it and want more or think because you agreed to this it is okay.

I guess it is all about what you are comfortable with/think is best but don't do anything you are uncomfortable with. If you are having intimacy issues it would be best to just address the situation the two of you. I would be very disheartened if my husband asked me for a threesome unless I had made mention to being open to it before.

[Wolfshook]

I've never heard threesomes helping marriages, I've only heard it destroying marriages.

 

It takes one hell of a foundation to endure that kind of trust test.

 

I'd rather go with counseling.

[rosephase]

Don't do it unless you actually find the idea of it arousing.

 

If you DO like the idea of having a threesome then you need to start talking about it in detail. What are you looking for? A once in a life time thing? A FWB for you both? Are you comfortable watching him have penetrative sex with the new person? Is he comfortable watching you? Where are your lines? What about birth control and STI protection? I have seen lots of relationships have good experiences with threesomes and lots have bad experiences with threesomes. You need to be on the same page about what you want out of it. It takes a lot of talking.

 

If you both like the idea can figure out boundaries and be happy moving towards a threesome here are a couple of major pieces of advice:

 

1) Have a safe word. A word that if anyone says it, at any time, everything stops no questions asked.

2) remember that the person you are sharing a bed with is a person and not just a prop for your sex life (unless that kind of play is fun for all of you and you all agree to the dynamic), this person will have needs, desires and wants of their own and you should make the time and space to hear them before clothes come off.