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And I have to wonder,

After all the days and nights that are behind us,

The seconds that turned into months;

Even years have now passed.

Yet here I am.

My hands trembling,

Just as they always do.

My eyes - they struggle to meet yours.

For every moment they glance upon you,

My mind;

It takes me to the darkest of my dreams.

The night terrors,

They still awaken me.

At 2 o'clock when the skies are as black as my broken heart,

My body forcing me to choose:

Fight or flight.

Natural instinct.

Do I stay? Do I run?

Do I risk it all for your arms around me,

Do I leave for the sake of my own sanity.

Lonliness may be my only comfort,

When the touch of a man is more terrifying,

Than the knowledge that i may never know love.

The realisation sets in.

I may never know love.

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