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Struggling to trust


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I have never posted on a site like this before but I am too embarrassed to tell everything to friends/family.


About four months ago my boyfriend of three years (we also live together) confessed to me that on a boys night out several months earlier he got drunk, kissed a girl who he met in a bar and exchanged numbers. Then a couple of weeks later when out with the same group of friends he phoned this girl to see if she was also out. She was but they didn't meet up.


He said he regretted it, that he wouldn't do it again. I know that anyone can make a mistake so I said I would try to forgive him.


Since then I have tried to put it behind me and he has been out a few times and nothing has happened. However all of these nights out have been with different group of friends. Next weekend he is planning to go out with the group he was with when all of this happened and I am very uncomfortable with this. They are all single and they only go out to pick up girls. He doesn't understand that the reasons I have doubts/worries is because he gave me a reason to have them and has been trying to suggest that he has 'done his time' in terms of not seeing them and that now I am being unreasonable. I think part of the problem is that he has never cheated on anyone in any way before and I guess he doesn't like any sort of reminder that he is that sort of guy after all.


I would like some advice on how I can stop worrying about this and move on as I don't want the relationship to end, we have never had any sort of problem before this. I suffer with anxiety and sometimes I struggle to tell if I am over reacting or if what I am asking for is reasonable.


Any help would be appreciated X

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I hate to say this to you because you want your relationship to work out. Sure the first kiss can be a sign of okay he made a mistake but then to go and try to meet up with the girl again on a separate occasion??


This isn't just about trust, it's him not being fully invested in you if he is thinking of other girls. Sounds like he needs to be single and you need to find somebody who won't cheat and will be fully committed to you.



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Honestly.. not sure I'd be able to accept this.


Not only did he kiss another woman.. and take her number, it CONTINUED again.. later ( another time).


it's not just like he was a bit 'curious' about another woman... he LET IT carry on!


I'd say.. you want to be this way.. then move on!

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The fact that he admitted it to you and even apologized for it makes him sound like an extremely nice guy. Because he never really did anything with the girl aside from getting her number and kissing her while intoxicated then I say that just let it go. We all make mistakes. I understand that you're anxious about him being out with that specific group of friends but honest to god. Girl, look at yourself. You obviously have something that the girl didn't. He had the chance to leave you for that girl and he didn't. He even apologized for everything he did. As long as you know that those are the only thing he's done then you don't have to worry about anything. As for your anxiety with his group of friends, I'm sorry to tell you but you just don't have the right to tell him not to hang out with his friends just because of your anxiety. It's not fair to him. If one day, he does decide to cheat on you then to hell with him. You're better off without him and you'll find someone else just as he did. But until you know for sure that he cheated, then don't assume anything. Your anxiety over this will just worsen your relationship. Trust him and love him. There's no need to be anxious. The moment he breaks your trust and heart, then leave him. He's not worth it.

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The moment he breaks your trust and heart, then leave him. He's not worth it.


Eh helloooo he clearly already broke her trust by kissing some other girl and then connecting with her....he seems like he wants to be in a relationship with you but also wants to be single, he either misses being single or feels like he never really did the single thing properly!


Its up to you what you want to do but i have been cheated on and as much as i would love to believe he would never cheat again my GUT tells me he will, listen to your gut, because unfortunately it is never wrong

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