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Somebody help me, so much pain


lilajodi

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I can't get over my ex boyfriend. I was so head over heels in love and we were best friends and together for years. We have been broken up for a couple months now. I feel so broken hearted and I think of him every day. I have tried talking to friends, listening to music, even tried dating other guys that turned out to be jerks. I don't know what to do to stop caring about him. I only see him from time to time and we never talk. I feel so broken and just so sad. I miss him so much. Should I try being hypnotized? I'm up for anything at this point. I just want to not care anymore.

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The trouble is darling it is only a couple of months and you have to accept that it takes longer then that to heal a broken heart . The day someone finds a potion to skip this bit will be a miracle in itself and make them billions !! It hurts to hell and back . I am a long time past my split that brought me hear , but sometimes I read a post ( Like yours ) and I can remember just how bad it felt ..oh don't get me wrong I am not in that state now , but it was so traumatic I can remember the pain , the absolute despair .

I say it all the time on here , and I know it is cheesy but the only thing that works is time ... you have to go through it , but you will come out of it . I know you don't believe you will , but the world would eventually come to a standstill if a broken heart couldn't be fixed .

 

If you want hypnosis to help you through then that is your choice , however it wont take away your pain . Lots of love xx

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You have to want to get over him. I mean truly, WANT TO. I have often found in the past, I have been distraught and depressed over not getting over a person but came to a realization that perhaps I don't want to and that's why it takes so long. If you have the desire to still care for the person, to still talk about the person, dream about them or idealize the person, you can't truly move on. You have to just forget the person. Don't create a memory out of him. Don't build him up. Let it go. I'm not saying any of those memories you shared have to be forever deleted from existence, but you can't appreciate them while you are healing, maybe in 10 years time you can reflect on the relationship in a positive way, but right now you need to not reflect at all, and just think of yourself, your immediate future plans, and do things that make you happy. There is more to this world than a guy who it didn't work out with. And stop dating people. You shouldn't force yourself to date unless you reach a point where you are truly curious and want to get to know someone and you actually want to go on that date, don't date for the sake of dating and to get over your ex. It will happen when it happens. Right now you have to make YOURSELF the priority and do things for yourself until you reach a place of inner contentment and calm. It will take time but you will get there, stay strong.

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I can't get over my ex boyfriend. I was so head over heels in love and we were best friends and together for years. We have been broken up for a couple months now. I feel so broken hearted and I think of him every day. I have tried talking to friends, listening to music, even tried dating other guys that turned out to be jerks. I don't know what to do to stop caring about him. I only see him from time to time and we never talk. I feel so broken and just so sad. I miss him so much. Should I try being hypnotized? I'm up for anything at this point. I just want to not care anymore.

 

If you don't mind me by asking, why did you two break up? You miss him and possibly still in love, maybe it wasn't the right decision to break up unless it was his call?

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I have to agree with those above. Time is the only thing to help heal. It's been 5 months for me and it's gotten better but sometimes I feel right back to square 1. Just try and stay strong and know that you deserve love. Don't put up with crap from anyone, that will never bring you happiness. Better to be alone with your dignity and self respect... I've tried dating too and it doesn't help. Until you're over this pain, you won't be able to appreciate and really enjoy another person. I don't know much about being hypnotized but I don't think that will help long term. But like I said I'm not sure. But if it will make you feel better and no adverse reaction then try it.

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The trouble is darling it is only a couple of months and you have to accept that it takes longer then that to heal a broken heart . The day someone finds a potion to skip this bit will be a miracle in itself and make them billions !! It hurts to hell and back . I am a long time past my split that brought me hear , but sometimes I read a post ( Like yours ) and I can remember just how bad it felt ..oh don't get me wrong I am not in that state now , but it was so traumatic I can remember the pain , the absolute despair .

I say it all the time on here , and I know it is cheesy but the only thing that works is time ... you have to go through it , but you will come out of it . I know you don't believe you will , but the world would eventually come to a standstill if a broken heart couldn't be fixed .

 

If you want hypnosis to help you through then that is your choice , however it wont take away your pain . Lots of love xx

 

Thanks for your kind words, they are very helpful. I really want to believe everything will be ok and I am going to be happy but, just as you say, it's hard to put that in my mind. Sometimes I feel like it's stronger than me and I have no control. But I am trying to stay positive, looking for some wise words and it's helpful to know others that went through the same experience and are happy now.

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Just give yourself some more time. Block him everywhere to return power in your hands, join gym or start working out to make yourself happier,and I promise in 2 months you will be much better.

 

I actually blocked him recently after a friend advised me to do so. I know I should get out of my room and work out, meet new people. I tried that in the beginning but since it was pointless, I decided to seek refuge in my bedroom and watch movies/series. But I will try to go for more walks outside, to see if it makes me feel better.

Link to comment
You have to want to get over him. I mean truly, WANT TO. I have often found in the past, I have been distraught and depressed over not getting over a person but came to a realization that perhaps I don't want to and that's why it takes so long. If you have the desire to still care for the person, to still talk about the person, dream about them or idealize the person, you can't truly move on. You have to just forget the person. Don't create a memory out of him. Don't build him up. Let it go. I'm not saying any of those memories you shared have to be forever deleted from existence, but you can't appreciate them while you are healing, maybe in 10 years time you can reflect on the relationship in a positive way, but right now you need to not reflect at all, and just think of yourself, your immediate future plans, and do things that make you happy. There is more to this world than a guy who it didn't work out with. And stop dating people. You shouldn't force yourself to date unless you reach a point where you are truly curious and want to get to know someone and you actually want to go on that date, don't date for the sake of dating and to get over your ex. It will happen when it happens. Right now you have to make YOURSELF the priority and do things for yourself until you reach a place of inner contentment and calm. It will take time but you will get there, stay strong.

 

Thanks for your kind words. I stop dating people, it was making me feel miserable. How about if that person has mutual friends? I see him from time to time in real life, but also pictures on instagram, facebook, although I blocked him. And the things that he gave me? Should I discard them or hide them? Keep them at all? I will try to make myself the priority, think more about me, I have been trying to do that but it's so hard to keep the momentum. Everything reminds me of me, even movies, scenes. I want to stop relating everything to him but it seems impossible at times.

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If you don't mind me by asking, why did you two break up? You miss him and possibly still in love, maybe it wasn't the right decision to break up unless it was his call?

 

He decided to do so. I am not so sure why he did it though, he started focusing a lot in his job at the time, he is a professional poker player. He just told me he had huge expectations for his career and wanted to travel the world. I was working at the time and I think he didn't want to feel "shackle". The circumstances in which he broke up with me were not the best, it was in my birthday which makes it so much more difficult to understand.

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I have to agree with those above. Time is the only thing to help heal. It's been 5 months for me and it's gotten better but sometimes I feel right back to square 1. Just try and stay strong and know that you deserve love. Don't put up with crap from anyone, that will never bring you happiness. Better to be alone with your dignity and self respect... I've tried dating too and it doesn't help. Until you're over this pain, you won't be able to appreciate and really enjoy another person. I don't know much about being hypnotized but I don't think that will help long term. But like I said I'm not sure. But if it will make you feel better and no adverse reaction then try it.

 

Thank you for our words. I will stay strong and hopefully overcome this even stronger. I also don't know about hypnosis but sometimes I feel so much despair that these options start to become somewhat worthy of considering.

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Reading this reminds me of myself a few years ago when I had my heart broken. It's so painful, isn't it? I understand what you're going through and how much you must be hurting.

 

But you will get over him. I know you're reading this and thinking no, I won't because I love him too much, I won't get over him. But you will.

 

You'll meet other people and you will fall in love again. And they will love you better than he did.

 

I'm sorry for what you're going though, a broken heart is something I wouldn't wish on anybody.

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Yep, try anything that's new, interesting, keeps you open and going and moving forward. Time doing other things and trying out new stuff you might like helps and you meet new people. It doesn't matter if it's water polo, yoga, base jumping, whatever. Just enjoy your freedom.

I have tried talking to friends, listening to music, even tried dating other guys that turned out to be jerks. Should I try being hypnotized?
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