My boyfriend has ignored me for 48 hours - HELP!!

[alicee]

Okay so, a bit of background infomation. Me and my boyfriend have known each other for coming up to 3 years. We were best friends at school and have always found each other attractive. However, due to dating other people and timings being out we only got together 3 months ago.

 

Things have been a bit of a whirlwind ever since and our relationship has moved pretty fast. After only 1 month he told me he loves me more than anyone before (I don't know how true this is but one of his best qualities is his honesty) and he has said that he thinks he has found his soul mate. He is also the first boyfriend I have had in which my entire family adores which is a really big deal and shows a lot about his character.

 

Until last week we have never really had any sort of arguments with each other and usually things are really good - however we've had a really bad week which seems to be out of nowhere. We had arguements over silly things and because we're both tired and a bit more irritable recently it's escalted into something more than it should be. We have both been quite petty over things which I will admit to. The last time I saw him was 4 days ago where I apologised to him for the arguements, and when I left he told me he loved me as he always does.

 

However the day after he text me saying he has been ignoring me and has been more distant because he's been thinking about us and he 'doesn't know how he feels' and was 'struggling to vocalise' his feelings to me. Being worried this was leading to a break up I pressured him to tell me what was wrong and he told me he didn't feel good enough for me. Since that conversation I sent him a message trying to reassure him he was more than good enough and told him I love him. I know he's read it but I havent heard anything since. For the past 2 days I've been worried sick and scared of losing him which has made me show desperation (not good I know). Speaking to some of our mutual friends he has been speaking to them online and over text - so I know he's avaliable to reply. I also tried calling a few times and the phone rang but there was no answer.

 

Does anybody know why he might have pulled away and intentinally not replied to any of my calls or messages. Its only been 2 days so shall I give him some more space? Or should I presume things between us are over? Also does anyone have any advice on what I should do next?

 

Thank you!!

[j.man]

I'd expect it to be over. What exactly was the last argument about? What was said?

[Edmund Exley]

What were the silly things?

[alicee]

Well the last conversation we had was over the phone and we were having a good laugh. I started telling him I'd had a really good day, in which he replied with very short one word replies and seemed very distant. Then we had a bit of a disagreement because he hung up the phone and started ignoring me.

[alicee]

What were the silly things?

 

It was things like miscommunication about when we would be next seeing each other which caused frustration - nothing serious at all. And we were both at fault in these arguments.

[Hollyj]

Don't contact him anymore. You have done your best.

 

Sounds like the relationship is done, but he is not mature enough to address the situation.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it does sounds like a whirlwind rebound relationship for both of you a characterized by infatuation and way too much too soon like ILY and soul mate in 1 mo.

 

It sounds like all the arguing revealed the incompatibilities and the infatuation wore off. He explained that he wants to breakup using the "It's me, not you" and "confused" excuse. Were you trying to move the relationship forward or spend more time together than he wanted to?

 

He told you he's ignoring you/not taking your calls because he 'doesn't know how he feels'. He wants to break up and go no contact so blowing up his phone won't bring a solution. It would be best to go no contact, rather than continue to call/message him.

a bit of a whirlwind ever since and our relationship has moved pretty fast. After only 1 month he told me he loves me more than anyone before and he has said that he thinks he has found his soul mate.

 

he text me saying he has been ignoring me and has been more distant because he's been thinking about us and he 'doesn't know how he feels' and was 'struggling to vocalise' his feelings to me. I also tried calling a few times and the phone rang but there was no answer.

[alicee]

Yeah I totally agree - he was really hurt by an ex girlfriend about a year ago and I thought he had moved on from her but it appears not. To be honest he was the one who was completely infatuated and wanted to spend as much time as possible with me, not the other way around. I haven't tried to contact him for the past 48 hours, hopefully if he wants to breaks up he'll tell me soon though!

[Wiseman2]

He already has but in a vague "confused, need space" type of way hoping you'll get the hint/give up.

if he wants to breaks up he'll tell me soon though!

[katrina1980]

Yeah I totally agree - he was really hurt by an ex girlfriend about a year ago and I thought he had moved on from her but it appears not. To be honest he was the one who was completely infatuated and wanted to spend as much time as possible with me, not the other way around. I haven't tried to contact him for the past 48 hours, hopefully if he wants to breaks up he'll tell me soon though!

 

Why wait for HIM to end it?

 

He's fading OUT... so take the hint and end it yourself, you''ll feel better and not so powerless.

 

You don't need HIS permission.

 

I am so sorry life sucks sometimes. But we always learn and grow for next time.

[moodindigo91]

I wouldn't be worried sick about him, he's clearly being a jerk. You've only been together three months, if he loved you like he says he does, he wouldn't just disappear after your FIRST real fights. Give me a break. He sounds like a terrible flight risk, if you do get back together with him, I'd expect this behavior to repeat over and over each time you fight (and don't be naive, you will fight again).

[Hollyj]

I wouldn't be worried sick about him, he's clearly being a jerk. You've only been together three months, if he loved you like he says he does, he wouldn't just disappear after your FIRST real fights. Give me a break. He sounds like a terrible flight risk, if you do get back together with him, I'd expect this behavior to repeat over and over each time you fight (and don't be naive, you will fight again).

 

I agree! You should send him a message ending it. If he loved you, he would never have responded in this manner.