Am I Crazy

[clfra]

I met this guy about 4 months ago. We have a really great time together. He is a great man, with a good head on his shoulders, everything I would want in a man, only thing is he has children, not only does he have children, he has... 4. He is only 25 and I am 23. I have no children I and am currently in graduate school. Although I really like him, I dont know if I could see myself dating him, I really like him but I cant get over the fact he has so many children. Am I crazy to continue to talk to him?

[Wiseman2]

Has he asked you on a date? It sounds like you are at much different life stages. Having a crush on someone does not mean you have to date someone who has deal breakers or red flags.

he has children, not only does he have children, he has... 4. He is only 25 and I am 23. I have no children I and am currently in graduate school. I dont know if I could see myself dating him

[JaggerJim]

Do you like him? Is he a good father? Does he see his kids, and or the mothers? Do you want kids in the future, and does he?

 

Why don't you see how it goes first before writing him off. If he's hopeless in all departments, then write him off.

[reinventmyself]

If you use the term `I don't know if I can see myself dating him, I can't get over the fact that he has so many children' then I think it's wise that you don't get attached or let him get attached to you.

[Stephie36]

Clfra -

 

At your age, I totally understand where you're coming from. I am in my mid 30's and I don't have children either. I was involved with someone who had 5 kids himself, even tho he was older, it was still hard for me to wrap my head around. For a few reasons, 1, should things get serious, you will fall into the step-parent role, 2, you won't come first ever, 3, the children's mother(s). I ultimately ended it for other reasons beside the fact that he had 5 kids. Long story. However since you have doubts and you're unsure about him, tells you everything you need to know. I suggest you gather the courage and tell him how you feel about it. It doesn't make you a bad person. You're not just ready to date a single parent - regardless how many kids he has. And even so, I'm sure you would like kids someday, he may not want anymore. This will hurt his feelings but he'll get over it. So far it's been casual - end it now before you continue to lead him on to the path of nowhere. If this bothers you now, it will continue to do so because this fact will never go away. He will always be a single parent of 5 kids. Perhaps you're better off as friends. And you'll meet someone you're 100% sure about and will jump right in because you know it feels right. With this guy - it doesn't feel right. Life's too short to settle. Follow your gut. He'll be hurt but he'll forgive you, and your decision to stop seeing him, doesn't make you a bad person. You're just not ready. That's it, simple.

[Wiseman2]

Yes, are they from different mothers? Same thought crossed my mind. How can he afford all that child support?

mothers?

[boltnrun]

Is it 4 children with 4 different women?

 

If so, I'd run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. Unless you want to become Baby Momma #5.

[Edmund Exley]

Be ready to be the mother of #5, while he looks for the mother of #6

[Hollyj]

Don't strap yourself with this. He doesn't sound responsible. At all!!!!!!

 

Doesn't anyone use birth control anymore!!!