She left and ripped my world apart. Should I wait for hrr?

[Idk294932]

My fiancé broke it off a week ago. We have been together for 1 year. We were living together at our apartment for around 4 months. Our relationship wasn't perfect but when we were good we were great. The fighting started to become more frequent. She had her problems and I had mine but we loved eachother and made so many commitments to eachother. She walked away after a fight and I had a feeling it was for good. She told me she needs to go work on herself before she can worry about working on us. She says she loves me but needs time and space to get herself right. She suggested I do the same and I agreed I needed to deal with some issues but didn't believe her walking away from everything we had together was the right way to do it. She said she can't help me right now and has to worry about herself. That she can't do that if she's with me because she will only worry about me and forget to take care of herself. I can't believe she can just pack all of her stuff up and walk out of my life. She won't talk to me. She said she can't give me any kind of time table on when she will be okay enough to come back. Her family has always hated me and was constantly telling her that she needs to leave me. She had a breakdown after a sexual assault trauma where she was touched inappropriately by a massage therapist. (I have an old post about it) and became suicidal for a short time. She was hospitalized for 4 days and I was there with her every second I could be. Her family always blamed me and told her she needs to get herself better and being with me isn't going to help her. Well anyway we started to fight more and more about her family. She was being pulled in two different directions because her family was starting to turn their back on her for being with me. Her sister wouldn't talk to her. Her mom would ask her to come over but don't bring me, and would constantly tell her how big of a mistake it was to be with me. Anyway I could see it wearing on her. After our last fight she just got in her car and left. She had done it before but this time she said she can't come back. She says she loves me and misses me but doesn't think she can ever come back to the apartment even if she is better and we start working on us again. She says she atleast has to give her family that so they don't turn their backs on her. I dont know what to do. I don't know if I can handle just sitting and waiting for her to come back with no indication of how long that will be. I don't know if after everything we have been through and everything we started together if I can just go back to dating. What should I do?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like things went to fast too, much too, soon moving in together, etc. and not being compatible. Too many fights and breakups and basic instability.

 

It would be best to go no contact and let her and her family figure things out.

We have been together for 1 year. We were living together at our apartment for around 4 months. She walked away after a fight. She said she can't help me right now and has to worry about herself. I can't believe she can just pack all of her stuff up and walk out of my life. She won't talk to me. Her family has always hated me. we started to fight more and more about her family. After our last fight she just got in her car and left. She had done it before but this time she said she can't come back

[bunzana]

Having your family not approve of your relationship can be very difficult. I'm in that very position myself, but I would not leave my boyfriend because of it. I think it is the many other issues that built up and eventually she just couldn't handle all the turmoil it seems like your relationship was built upon. Perhaps you were just not compatible and she finally realized this. I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you, but perhaps it was for the better.

[MissCanuck]

Why did her family dislike you so much?

[tabithas]

Sorry that you are hurting. It is a lot harder to be with someone that has issues in their past that affects their daily lives in the present, her family are just looking out for her probably due to this, From what you describe it sounds like a close knit family and they are going to be biased because they love her (family do that however much they try to interfere, even though they probably are not). Give her the space that she needs for now, personally i would move on it sounds like she needs to sort herself out, i know it hurts but it might be for the best.