smoking

[Footloose]

So I am in a long distance relationship and he is perfect in every way and I really can not lose him, he's helped me so much through my personal issues and has brought myself back to being myself again. The one issue I have is that he smokes weed, he only does it occasionally and I know compared to other things such as drinking or tobacco it's relatively harmless. The issue I have with it is that he completely changes when he's smoked, he goes from happy bubbly and always making me laugh and cheering me up to completely lethargic and almost empty, I struggle to hold a conversation with him and sometimes get the feeling I am forgotten about. I'm not 100% against weed I even considered smoking it to see what it's like but I have anxiety so I'm worried I will have a panic attack and become paranoid. I feel like I can't speak to him about it cos I don't want to upset or annoy him, I don't want to change who he is either and I don't expect him to stop, I'd never ask that of him, I just want him to understand where I am coming from and how I feel about it so maybe he can help persuade me I am wrong and it's just my anxiety coming through. Does anyone have any advice? other than 'get over it weed is harmless' as I already know this

[pippy longstocking]

Well as a smoker I will say this ...if I was spending the evening with a none smoker and I only did it occasionally then I wouldn't do it on THAT night ..I would wait till I was doing my own thing ..or moderate the amount so I don't gouch .

 

You are right not to start , it has a high chance of increasing your anxiety and even more so because you are expecting it to .

 

Ask him to just do it in his own time and make your time qaulity .

[j.man]

I just want him to understand where I am coming from and how I feel about it so maybe he can help persuade me I am wrong and it's just my anxiety coming through.

Not his job. There's nothing you could learn from putting him on the stand that you couldn't taking it upon yourself to research and learn. We live in the information age. Get on it. Or spot a friend of yours who partakes some money to purchase some for yourself and them and have your own experience. You're setting a bad precedent trying to get him to defend his incompatible qualities and depending on him to alleviate your anxiety.

[rayfutz]

So I am in a long distance relationship and he is perfect in every way and I really can not lose him, he's helped me so much through my personal issues and has brought myself back to being myself again. The one issue I have is that he smokes weed, he only does it occasionally and I know compared to other things such as drinking or tobacco it's relatively harmless. The issue I have with it is that he completely changes when he's smoked, he goes from happy bubbly and always making me laugh and cheering me up to completely lethargic and almost empty, I struggle to hold a conversation with him and sometimes get the feeling I am forgotten about. I'm not 100% against weed I even considered smoking it to see what it's like but I have anxiety so I'm worried I will have a panic attack and become paranoid. I feel like I can't speak to him about it cos I don't want to upset or annoy him, I don't want to change who he is either and I don't expect him to stop, I'd never ask that of him, I just want him to understand where I am coming from and how I feel about it so maybe he can help persuade me I am wrong and it's just my anxiety coming through. Does anyone have any advice? other than 'get over it weed is harmless' as I already know this

 

You dont want to change who he is, but you see an incompatibility that bothers you. Yeah you can explain where you are coming from and how it makes you feel. I dont see the harm in that. I mean you are going to talk about it at some point, mine as well get to it.

 

long distance, how far apart?

How long have you and him been LDR?

How often have you seen him?

[Wiseman2]

Don't talk to him when he's stoned. The issue isn't the merits of smoking pot or not, it's that talking to him while he's stoned is a drag.

he completely changes when he's smoked, he goes from happy bubbly and always making me laugh and cheering me up to completely lethargic and almost empty, I struggle to hold a conversation with him and sometimes get the feeling I am forgotten about.