He asked to be exclusive but says he doesn't care if I date others?

[Cookies999]

Hi I'm recently dating this new guy. He knows I'm waiting for some commitment before sex. Yesterday on the phone we got to talking and he said "I was thinking we could be exclusive, but I mean, it's cool if you still date other guys" I said what do you mean? " He said, "do you want to be my Gf? " so I said sure and he laughed but I still don't understand why he wants to be exclusive but is okay with me dating other guys?

[pippy longstocking]

I think he just got all fumbly with his words and meant but it is ok if you don't want to be exclusive

[milly007]

Hi I'm recently dating this new guy. He knows I'm waiting for some commitment before sex. Yesterday on the phone we got to talking and he said "I was thinking we could be exclusive, but I mean, it's okay if you date other guys" I said what do you mean? " He said, "do you want to be my Gf? " so I said sure and he laughed but I still don't understand why he wants to be exclusive but is okay with me dating other guys?

 

Ummm, yeah...very odd. Better ask him for clarification regarding what on earth he means.

[JaggerJim]

Nothing he said makes any sense. You'd need to ask him again.

[Cookies999]

He said "but you can date other guys" I think I worded it fumbley because i was paraphrasing, but he said that he's cool with me dating other guys l. But he'd not be dating other girls. Thanks. Yea I'm really confused

[BrianH46]

Want's to show he wants commitment but doesn't want to scare you (moving too fast, needy etc) is my take.

[j.man]

I'm thinking this is probably your paraphrasing moreso than what he said. He's asking if you want to be exclusive but isn't making it an ultimatum. If you still want to see other guys, he'll still date you.

 

Take him up on the offer and clarify the terms if you want.

[pippy longstocking]

I'm thinking this is probably your paraphrasing moreso than what he said. He's asking if you want to be exclusive but isn't making it an ultimatum. If you still want to see other guys, he'll still date you.

 

Take him up on the offer and clarify the terms if you want.

 

that's what I said ...j we are so perfect together

[rayfutz]

wants to be exclusive, but you can bring other guys into the picture. So what part of that sounds exclusive to you?

 

If he is ok with you dating other guys, be sure he will be seeing other girls. He just knows some women are ok to multi-date.. but those same women usually don't end up liking when the guy dates other women. So again, I don't know what about this sounds exclusive to you, even though he threw in the word.

[notalady]

I would simply say "just to clarify our conversation the other day, so we're both not dating other people now correct? It just sounded a bit confusing when you said I can date other guys".

[missmarple]

I would simply say "just to clarify our conversation the other day, so we're both not dating other people now correct? It just sounded a bit confusing when you said I can date other guys".

 

This is exactly what I'd tell him, too.

[Cookies999]

I agree with you... I get the feeling he is mainly after sex so the exclusivity word is just to give me a sense if security..but maybe I'm just paranoid..I will ask he for clarification. Thank you,everyone!!

[greta96]

He is either testing the waters to see whether you'd be interested in being exclusive without making it sound like a big deal (playing it cool), or telling you whatever he knows you want to hear so you have sex with him sooner rather than later.

I lean towards option 2, but since I can't be 100% sure I agree with the others, clarify. And please do it in person, so you can also see his body language.

[reinventmyself]

I agree with you... I get the feeling he is mainly after sex so the exclusivity word is just to give me a sense if security..but maybe I'm just paranoid..I will ask he for clarification. Thank you,everyone!!

 

So . . .why put any effort into someone who you sense is only after sex?

[pippy longstocking]

I agree with you... I get the feeling he is mainly after sex so the exclusivity word is just to give me a sense if security..but maybe I'm just paranoid..I will ask he for clarification. Thank you,everyone!!

 

oh ....I didn't get that at all , I thought the opposite , that he was dying a death asking you to be exclusive so added quickly at the end that is was ok if you didn't want to ...but it was you there haha so if that is what vibe you get , then go with your gut .

[surfdiva]

I would simply say "just to clarify our conversation the other day, so we're both not dating other people now correct? It just sounded a bit confusing when you said I can date other guys".

 

^^^This is exactly what I'd do^^^

[Zippy2000]

That's like saying. "Will you marry me....? You can still see other men while we are married"!

 

A contradiction in terms. He`s not really wanting any sort of commitment with you by saying other people can be involved. Don't analyse it and don't try to seek answers. Hes not really for anymore than exclusive.