Starting over again

[snf2189]

I was dating someone for 4 years, we moved in together after 2, I cheated on him, and consequently was asked not so politely to move out. After about a month of barely any contact, we decided to try and work through it. However, he wants to just try and start dating again for now. I'm struggling alot with this, it feels so weird to go from spending everyday together to only seeing each other 2-3 times a week. We both have busy schedules and children of our own from previous relationships. He says it feel weird for him to but thinks this is how it should be for a while. My issue is he also says he needs to be able to trust me again, I just don't understand how he's going to do that without seeing me everyday. If the situation we reversed I would want to live together right away. Basically I'm wondering how long I should humor him, sometimes I think it would be easier if it was just over then doing it like this. I do love him very much and want to make it work but I don't know if I can handle this.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he doesn't really trust you again, so since you wanted to reconcile is reluctantly saying ok. But is string you along and has no intention of completely restoring the relationship. He may just want some nsa sex for now until he decides what to do.

 

He doesn't want you back in his house and no moving yourself and kids back into his house isn't how you rebuild trust. He is understandably keeping you at arms length from himself and his kids. You betrayed him while you and your kids lived in His house. Take it very slowly and be aware that he may never trust you again.

I cheated on him, and consequently was asked not so politely to move out. he wants to just try and start dating again for now.We both have busy schedules and children of our own from previous relationships.

[Edmund Exley]

How long you should humor him? You're truly lucky to have any chance at all.

 

If its easier to walk away then do what he needs for him to feel comfortable moving back forward with you, then yes you should just be over. I am not saying you deserve punishment, but what he is asking doesnt seem unfair.

[moodindigo91]

Why did you cheat on him? I think his plan is the better one. If you rushed to move in together right away, you'll never be able to build up the relationship to where it needs to be for it to last. You'll get comfortable, and start to neglect each other or take advantage of one another. Right now, you're the one with something to "prove" (for lack of a better word), not him. So if you want this to work, I'd humor him for as long as he wants. It will take him some time. If you can't handle this process of rebuilding a relationship, then you should cut it off now before he gets in too deep and ends up getting hurt again.

 

Also, how does seeing you everyday build trust faster?

[snf2189]

I'm figuring seeing me everyday, knowing where I am would put him at ease a little more.

[Wiseman2]

He doesn't want you to move back in with your kids. You build trust by not cheating, not conveniently moving back in. Understandably you were upset he kicked you out, but it's his house.

 

You'll have to accept that cheating is a game changer and he may or may not ever really want to get back together, just hookups until he finds someone else.

I'm figuring seeing me everyday, knowing where I am would put him at ease a little more.

[snf2189]

I can rule out hookups because I had a hysterectomy recently and am not physically able to have sex.